GB HOMEPAGE

T*G*I*F

Posted By: gymcandy1

T*G*I*F - 12/14/18 01:38 AM

“The holiday season: A deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.”

~Dave Berry~
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Best Christmas Jokes | Part 2



Best first:


What’s the price of Santa's sleigh?
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Nothing, it's on the house.

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What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies? Santa’s burps.

What is invisible and does NOT smell like milk and cookies? Santa’s f*rts.

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Isn't it embarrassing how Santa ends up having the same wrapping paper like your mum and dad.

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At Christmas, mother says to Little Johnny, "Go on and light up the Christmas tree Johnny.“

Johnny runs off happily and comes back after a while, asking, „Should I light up the candles, too“

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Where would Santa hide gifts for his elves?
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In his clauset.

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Why should you never mess with Santa?

Because he’s got a black belt.

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Fox News reported news of an unidentified flying object on Christmas Eve.
It was a U-F-ho-ho-ho.

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Little girl wrote to Santa, asking him to give her a baby sister for Christmas.

Santa replied promptly, asking her to send her mother.

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Where does Santa's elves deposit their wages?

In the snow bank.

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Why do spies rarely enjoy the Christmas holidays?

They hate giving away their presence.

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What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
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Snowballs.

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How do we know Santa is a man?

No woman with an ounce of dignity would wear the same outfit for so many years.

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Christmas tip: Wrap empty boxes in Christmas wrapping paper. When your child misbehaves, toss one into the fire.

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Why does Santa use reindeer to pull his sleigh?
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Because huskies can’t fly.

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What would you call an elf who is an excellent swimmer?

An elfin.

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Walking down the street I wonder if at Christmas we celebrate the birth of Jesus, or of General Electric.

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I heard elves love to sing when they work on children’s toys. They are very good wrappers.

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Good morning everyboomie. winter


How is everyone in my favorite Joe's Diner this morning? happydance12


I'm doing good. Inside, safe, warm, and dry. grinch


All day yesterday it was overcast and kinda misty/rainy. Then at about 3:00 it got so dark I had to turn my lights on, and I knew something wicked this way cometh. eek


Then at 3:40 the storms rolled in and the sky opened up. eek12


We had torrential rain for an hour and a half.. My yard was completely under water.


I thought about going swimming but Missy just wasn't into it. razz


IT's FRIDAY!!! penguin


It's going to be wet and cold all day here, so I'll have to bide my time and dream of arrowheads gleaming in the sunshine.......the next time we have sunshine. wink


Have a happy day everyone.


joe



Posted By: family

Re: T*G*I*F - 12/14/18 01:56 AM

going to bridge.
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: T*G*I*F - 12/14/18 06:09 AM

Just got home, been a long day. Only in Chicago can you caught in a traffic jam late on a Thursday night.
My nephew is here from the Philippines until Saturday.

Can't wait to start the weekend!

Have a happy day all!
Posted By: soot

Re: T*G*I*F - 12/14/18 06:13 AM

Have fun Family

Weekend starts tomorrow night Ana woot

Tall coffee Gerry laugh
Posted By: venus

Re: T*G*I*F - 12/14/18 06:36 AM

Have a great Friday Joe, family, Ana, soot and all who follow. wave12

It's Thursday night, and I'm off to sleep. I have one more long work day, and then my "vacation" time begins. happydance12

Have a terrific Friday, everyone. tree
Posted By: Kaki's Sister

Re: T*G*I*F - 12/14/18 11:23 AM

Good Morning Joe, family, Ana, soot, venus and everyone. Joe hope you see some sunshine today! Family enjoy your bridge game. Ana hope your Friday has a little down time! Soot a large dark Brew is ready and waiting for you! Venus look forward to your "vacation" time! Coffee, tea and hot chocolate are ready.
tree Happy Friday everyone! tree
Posted By: connie

Re: T*G*I*F - 12/14/18 01:00 PM

Good morning, all my dinner friends. Well Christmas presents all wrapped and under the tree. presents12 Now if I could keep the Pouncer out of the tree all would be well. tree Today will be house cleaning day. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC. santadance
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: T*G*I*F - 12/14/18 04:48 PM

Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

Rainy, Gloomy, day...but it is Skywalker's Birthday! To celebrate he is running in/out through the doggie door. He keeps coming up for a pet, and he's soaked. I dry him, and 10 minutes later he is back....soaked. Must be dancing in the rain.

Have a great one!
Posted By: Gimli

Re: T*G*I*F - 12/14/18 05:07 PM

Happy Friday my gb friends, whatever you do!

For me it was physiotherapie for my foot, but the therapist couldn't do much since the sutures will come out only next Monday. So patience is my friend (NOT).

Thank you Connie and Gerry for the pastries and the hot chocolate. Exactly what I needed.

Happy Birthday Skywalker!

Hugs all around
Posted By: venus

Re: T*G*I*F - 12/15/18 07:21 AM

Good night, everyone. sleep12
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