Cryptograms

-1. LOA JELASEAL JF FK ZJW, FK XKNASVBH UEI XKJELHAFF LOUL VKS FKCA XAKXHA JL JF U RKCXHALA FBZFLJLBLA VKS HJVA. ~UEISAN ZSKNE

-2. O NAVHXIGQ PGIY JAX VOFG VAQG VWYIOFGY BOYIGQ ILOD ODJ WDRGDIWAD WD LXVOD LWYIAQJ - SWIL ILG HAYYWTPG GKNGHIWADY AB LODCMXDY ODC IGUXWPO. ~VWINL QOINPWBBG

-3. GEUZEDAAQEK DEQ JW D EDMQ XJHF HFQ BWJTQEKQ HU MEQDHQ SJZZQE DWO SQHHQE JOJUH-GEUUV GEUZEDAK, XFJIQ HFQ BWJTQEKQ JK HENJWZ HU MEQDHQ SJZZQE DWO SQHHQE JOJUHK. KU VDE HFQ BWJTQEKQ JK XJWWJWZ. ~EJMF MUUR

-4. N HTNMY DXEUBHPQ JNQBVPV VTXBWC DXBMH KV WNLP. N HTNMY NH VKRV VXEPHTNMZ KAXBH TBEKM MKHBQP HTKH HTP XMWR LXQE XL WNLP OP TKJP DQPKHPC VX LKQ NV UBQPWR CPVHQBDHNJP. OP'JP DQPKHPC WNLP NM XBQ XOM NEKZP. ~VHPUTPM TKOYNMZ

-5. BZWIB UXRZ HIEEOXZK VJQW UXRZ BXXBDAZRED. KXT'B VWB ITUAXKU WVEW REW JB, ITK FWB I TWO XTW WSWZU EJN CXTBDE. ~LVJPPXZK EBXVV

-6. LR'G CWWI KH BAZLXH RA JLWQ RSW LIRWEIWR IAR YG YI 'LIOAEKYRLAI SLUSQYH,' CNR YG YI WZWXREAILX YGHZNK OLZZWF QLRS CYCCZLIU ZAAILWG. ~KLMW EAHMA

-7. FKA BDZP ZXZQADTZ GKWTN GKZ RIGIQZ WP PUCYZ KZVLZGP, PWVXZQ RDWV, CTB GCVNWTM VWNZ YDLUIGZQP, VWNZ C OCB ZUWPDBZ DR PGCQ GQZN? ~GQCYZA IVVLCT

-8. XG M OGQY XYWXVLPY UFVWR VU XYYOYJ UG OY NMX UG RG UG XVPVEGW ZMPPYA MWJ LY KTXFVWR GW UFY UYEFWGPGRA EGOKMWVYX UG MEEYPYQMUY UFY TXY GH MTJVG MWJ OTXVE VW EGOKTUYQX. ~UFGOMX JGPLA

-9. QVWP WVTPHSCD PVYSU KW LDCU QBIZ MKGD SX DRUOPKSX OUCSQKY HKPZ QKMMKVXW VT ACKIGW OKMDY VX PVO VT DSIZ VPZDC, HKPZ XV WPCBIPBCSM KXPDRCKPU, ABP FBWP YVXD AU ACBPD TVCID SXY PZVBWSXYW VT WMSLDW. ~SMSX GSU

-10. JGFWQIQEK SYI Y CND BNWIGQC QVK, DGCUQDI AH, DSGFS YFFQWUGCL KQ NBNWMOQUM GI KSN ‘JQIK WNRGYORN DGCUQDI NBNW.‘ KQ JN, KSGI GI RGPN IYMGCL KSYK YIHYWYLVI GI ‘KSN JQIK YWKGFVRYKN BNLNKYORN NBNW.‘ ~UYBN OYWWM

1.The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life. Andrew Brown

Nice solve, Haroula!

6. It's been my policy to view the internet not as an 'information highway,'
but as an electronic asylum filled with babbling loonies. ~Mike Royko

Good one, Sondi!

8. So a more sensible thing it seemed to me was to go to Silicon Valley and be pushing on the technology companies to accelerate the use of audio and music in computers. ~Thomas Dolby

7. Why does everyone think the future is space helmets, silver foil, and talking like computers, like a bad episode of Star Trek? ~Tracey Ullman

The formula for transparent aluminum was traded for thick plexiglas panels to help whales escape safely into the latter part of the 23rd century in Star Trek IV. So you never really saw the foil hats on the show. Ever.

That's two, Rog.

Sondi, manxman - both good!

I stand corrected, oh mentor...

3.Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot- proof programs, while the Universe is trying .So far the Universe is winning.Rich Cook.

Near enough, Haroula - you missed a chumk out.

The full quote is:

Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs, while the Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning. ~Rich Cook

2. A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. ~Mitch Ratcliffe

Another goodie, manxman!

10. Microsoft has a new version out, Windows XP, which according to everybody is the 'Most reliable windows ever.' To me, this is like saying that asparagus is 'The most articulate vegetable ever.' ~Dave Barry

5. Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it,
and get a new one every six months. ~Clifford Stoll

9. Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves. ~ Alan Kay


I thought an Egyptian pyramid did have structural integrity; otherwise, how could they have lasted for thousands of years?

4. I Think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image. ~ Stephen Hawking

Flo, Jema - good solves!

Good question, Jema - dunno. Maybe just the sheer size and weight

5. Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months. ~Clifford Stoll
great advice

Yes, manxman!

10. Microsoft has a new version out, Windows XP, which according to everybody is the most reliable Windows ever. To me, this is like saying that asparagus is the most articulate vegetable ever. ~ Dave Barry

Might I add, that XP is the tops in my book. I don't ever want to lose it. ~ Flo

I used to agree Flo, until I could no longer get a PC with XP on it.

So I was dragged kicking and screaming into the world of Windoze 7 - hated it for the first week or so, then came to accept it. I still don;t think it's as good as XP for experienced users, but it seems to be safer and more stable than XP - never once had a Blue Screen of Death with it...