Hector: Badge of Carnage - Episode 1

Genre:   Adventure

Developer:   Straandlooper Animation

Publisher:    TellTale Games

Released:  April 2011

PC Requirements:  

Operating system: Windows XP / Vista / Windows 7
Processor: 2.0 GHz Pentium 4 or equivalent
Memory: 3 GB RAM
Video Card: ATI or NVidia card w/ 512 MB RAM
Direct X 9.0c
Audio card required




by flotsam


Developed originally for the iPhone, and now available for PC, if a “crude, lewd and gritty law enforcement comedy” might float your boat, you might want to give this a whirl.

Hector is a Detective Inspector in the British burg of Clappers Wreake. Affectionately known as “the fat a.. of the law”, we first encounter Hector’s said part trouserless in a police cell. The last thing he remembers is doing a conga with either a goat or a nun and, while waking in a police cell is not good, not waking next to a fat girl is apparently a vast improvement. Getting out of the cell is the first order of business, and involves a used condom and a toilet. Once successful, we encounter the street youth chained to the radiator, who at first thinks Hector is a “paedo”, and then wishes he was when finding out he is a cop.

If that little paragraph has put you off, then you had probably better steer clear. Crude and lewd it is, and crude and lewd it remains, all the way to the cliffhanger end. It won’t be for everyone.

For those who like a bit of crude and lewd, and not the subtle variety, then Hector might be your man. A hostage-taking sniper has taken out 11 of the best police negotiators, and the Tactical Weapons And Tactics team have taken out a little old lady. A situation tailor-made for an obnoxious, troublemaking alcoholic DI, assuming he can find his pants.

Hector’s first challenge (after his pants) is his car, and involves an overweight prostitute, a Taser wielding old lady and a tramp. Having arrived on the sniping field, Hector is given three tasks by the hostage taker, who is seemingly on a mission to restore Clappers Wreake to some sense of decency and splendour. If Hector can fix the clock, shut down the paragon of porno and help the town reformer, the hostages will go free.

Like many animated point and click adventures, nothing is straightforward. Once you get the tasks, all four destinations are open to you and you can move freely between them all. Solving all three tasks necessitates that you do so, as items in one place are used elsewhere. In that regard the game is relatively open, although it’s a small game world to begin with.

All the conundrums are inventory based, and at any one time you might have 6 or 7 items in play (depending on how you progress through the game). Conversations are also triggers (as well as being rude, snide and tasteless humour), and you will have to work through some dialogue trees to get the right responses.

The animation style suits the feel of the game, and there is a very British-ness about some of the slang and the expressions. Most people with a passing acquaintance to things pommy will know what a chip butty* is, but I had to look up what an Asbo is (it’s an anti-social behaviour order, and apparently essential for street cred).

There are (sassy) hints built in (Hector will give you a gob full on occasion also). But it isn’t a hard game, especially for veteran conundrum doers, and it took me about 5 hours. The game saves automatically and you automatically start where you left off.

Badge of Carnage will definitely be a matter of taste (and I am not talking about the chip butty). If South Park or Robot Chicken gives you a laugh, Hector might as well. Just don’t say you weren’t warned, and don’t expect resolution.


* For those not in the know, it is a heavily buttered sandwich, filled only with chips (aka French fries but they have to be fat) and a dollop of tomato sauce (aka ketchup).

Hector: Badge of Carnage – Episode 1: We Negotiate With Terrorists is available via download from Telltale Games.


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