Solution by Phil Darke
The humour and distinctive style of Terry Pratchett's Discworld series of books and the original Discworld computer game. Have made them probably the funniest and best available. Discworld 2 continues this tradition. However it should be appreciated that much of the humour is impromptu and not necessarily important to solving the puzzles in the game. It is with this in mind that I suggest that while are playing this game you should visit every available location, talk to all the characters and try any actions that occur to you even if they do not seem to be logical. When Rincewind encounters something which is relevant you will receive a fairly obvious hint that there is something to be done here. Although this will not usually tell you exactly what is required it certainly helps to put you on the right track. So although this solution will give all the answers to all of the problems, I suggest that you only resort to it if you are stuck, and hopefully this will enable you to not only complete the game, but also appreciate the humour within the game; but enough waffle from me; on with the game.
Watch the intro at least once It does not tell you much about the game but it is excellent. DEATH seems to have gone AWOL leaving the souls of the departed with nowhere to go. In order to rectify this situation the Arch chancellor of Unseen University has declared that it will be necessary to perform the Rites Of Ashkent. This requires that a number of ingredients be collected in order to perform the aforesaid Rites and this is where Rincewind comes in. You start in the University Dining Hall with the Luggage and a list of ingredients. These are; Glitter Dust, Three pieces of wood all exactly the same length, 4ccs of mouse blood, Dribbly candles and a vile smell.
Go to the Plaza and have a chat to the Milk maid who is doing a Marylyn Monroe impersonation outside the Odium. Take a good look at the dress it is covered in sequins - just what you need. Take a closer look at her impersonation and you may notice that something is not quite right, maybe a bit of a draught from the grating she is standing on would do the trick. Next go to the University's High Energy Facility. After a bit of a chat and a good look round grab the bellows and head for the ruins of the Fools Guild. Go down the hole and into the sewers. Search around and you will find yourself under the grate on which the Milk maid is standing. Use the bellows on the grate and you will be showered with sequins. Bingo! back to the university and hand them over to the Archchancellor.
THREE PIECES OF WOOD
Go to the garden and take a look at the croquet mallets which the Dean, the Bursar and the Librarian are using. The handles of those mallets would be just perfect. Of course their present owners are not willing to part with them so you need to find something to put in their place. The first of these is easy to find. Just go to the wandering shop and after a chat with the owner take the stuffed Flamingo. Also take the stuffed Fish. Now go to the docks. There is a bird sitting on the roof who would make a good mallet substitute and also hanging up in the net is a Hammerhead Shark who would do very nicely. Throw the stuffed fish into the water. The Bird will dive down to grab it and knock its self out so pick it up. The net however is not going to give up the shark so easily and you need something to cut the net. Go to Shades and find the entrance to the mortuary. Inside is a slops trough, examine it and take the knife. So back to the docks and use the knife on the net and pick up the Shark. Now head to the University Garden and swap the Shark for the Bursar's mallet, the Flamingo for the Dean's mallet and the Bird with the Librarian. Take the mallets to the Archchancellor.
FOUR ccs OF MOUSE BLOOD
The first thing to do is to find a mouse. Fortunately Gimlets near the Shades specialises in such delicacies. Go to Gimlets and sit at the table. Examine the menu and then talk to Gimlet. Order one extra rare mouse burger. Now you need a means to extract the blood. Now go to the Trolls Head in Shades. Here you find a Vampire. Talk to him and you will discover that he has false teeth. If you visited the cemetery you should have seen a crypt with a coffin and a glass of water nearby. This is where he keeps his teeth when he is sleeping during the day. Rincewind has not got time to wait for dawn so he needs something to persuade him that it is time for bed. How about a cock crow. Did you notice a cock in the University Garden? that would do fine. However it will not cooperate. Maybe you could drug it with something. Cocks are very partial to corn.
Go to the Plaza and buy some pop corn from Dibbler. Now you need something with which to drug the corn. Some alcohol would do so go to the Trolls Head and buy a drink. While you are here talk to Casanunda. He has a ladder which you will need later. Ask him for the ladder. He tells you that he will give you the ladder in exchange for an introduction to a lady who is close enough to the ground for him to serenade without the use of the ladder. While you where in the mortuary earlier you should have seen a coffin, containing the mortal remains of Granny Weatherwax. Tell Casanunda about her. He will now give you the ladder.
Return to the University garden. Use the drink on the corn then give the corn to the rooster. You now have the rooster. Return to Shades. Unfortunately the alcohol has worked so well that the rooster is incapable of crowing, so you need to sober him up.
Go and look for the beggars in Shades. Here you will find a can containing coffee. Take the can and use it on the Rooster.
Now return to the Trolls Head and use the Rooster on the vampire. On hearing the crowing he decides that it is time for bed and heads off to his coffin, dropping his teeth into the glass before settling down to sleep. Follow him and use the ladder on the coffin and take the teeth. Use the teeth on the mouse to get the blood. However you still need some way to measure 4ccs. While in the High Energy facility earlier you may have seen a test tube. Go there and take the tube. In the process of removing it you break the machine and release the ants; but more of this later. Use the test tube on the teeth and go and give it to the Archchancellor.
While you where in the wandering shop you may have noticed some candles. If you ask the old woman about these she tells you that they are for show only. However she will make some candles for you if you get her some bees wax.
There are some bee hives in the University garden. Go there and talk to the bee keeper. He is obsessed with bees and the Queen in particular and wants to spread his knowledge. When you spoke to Dibbler earlier in the game he may have given you a leaflet about clickies. This is just what the bee keeper needs, so give him the leaflet and away he goes. You are now free to get the bees wax from the hive. First, however you need some protection and something with which to smoke the bees from the hive.
Go to Shades and into Mrs. Cake's shop at the left is a mannequin wearing a petticoat. Try to take the petticoat and you get a piece of material, which will make a perfect veil. Now for the smoke. In the wandering shop are some incense sticks so go and get them. On the counter of the Trolls Head is a box of matches, so get these as well and return to the bee hives. Wear the veil and use the matches to light the incense sticks. Use the lighted incense sticks on the hive and get some wax. Go and give the wax to the old woman in the wandering shop and she will make some candles for you. However these candles are not very dribbly. The old woman tells you that you need to make the bees drink a lot of water. To do this you need to go back to Gimlets and get the Chilli powder from the table. The bees will not take the chilli powder if you use it on them. So use it on the flowers. Using the same procedure as before collect some more wax, which is now very dribbly. So off to the shop and get the old woman to make you some more candles. these are just right, so go and give them to the Archchancellor.
A VILE SMELL
Go to Shades, where the beggars are. Here you will notice a vile smell. However you can not just take it. You need a suitable container first. The ideal container is the genie bottle in Mrs. Cake's shop. Before you shoot off there to get it have a chat with Foul Ole Ron. Ask him about the vile smell and he tells you that it likes boots.
Now off to Mrs. Cake's shop. Your first problem here is one of communication. Mrs. Cake has the power of pre-cognition. This means that she will answer your questions before you ask them. So in order to be able to understand her you need to talk to her in the reverse order to what you would normally. Before you start talking to her look at the genie bottle. Now talk to Mrs Cake, clicking on the icons in the following order sarcasm, question, muse and greeting. Ask her about the genie bottle and she will agree to give it to you in exchange for some ectoplasm. If you question her further about ectoplasm she tells you that it can be wrung out of ghosts.
There just happen to be a couple of ghosts conveniently located at the ruins of the Fools Guild, but they are not willing to come with you as they have to haunt the Fools Guild. Look around and you will find a brick lying on the ground. Use the brick on the ghosts and convince them that since this is part of the Fools Guild they could haunt the brick instead. You now need to find a way to wring the ectoplasm from the ghosts. If you have been paying attention you will have noticed a centrifuge in the University's High Energy Facility; perfect. Go there and use the brick on the centrifuge to obtain some ectoplasm. While you are here pick up the magnet as you will shortly be needing this.
Go to Mrs. Cake's shop and give her the ectoplasm in exchange for the genie bottle.
Now go to the university garden. On the right of the screen near the compost heap you find an Imp. Talk to him and ask about his boots. These boots have steel toe caps, so use the magnet on the imp and voila -one fine pair of daisy roots.
Now go back to Shades and use the boots on the genie bottle, then use the bottle on the vile smell which then takes up residence in the bottle.
Now go back to the university and give the vile smell to the Archchancellor. The rite of Ashkente is duly performed and DEATH appears but it seems that he is enjoying himself too much to come back and perform his duties. Our hero Rincewind is given the task of finding out where he has gone and bringing him back.
It appears that DEATH has decided to take a holiday in the land of XXXX and you need to find some transport to get there. If you go to the docks you will find a ship moored there. Talk to the captain and ask him for passage to XXXX. He tells you that he is booked up to take the undead and since you are clearly alive there is no place for you.
Go to Shades and talk to the dead collector. He tells you that you need a death certificate. Go to the mortuary and talk to the mortician. Ask about a death certificate and he tells you that he has to perform two tests before he can issue you with a death certificate. The first test is if you do not cloud a cold mirror and the second is to test your pulse. You need to get a false arm. The dummy in Mrs Cakes shop would be perfect, but you can not break the arm off. Go to where the beggars are and take the saw. Return to Mrs. Cake's and use the saw on the dummy. Return to the mortuary. Your breath would obviously cloud the cold mirror. So you need to warm it up pick up the mirror and use it on the Bunsen burner. Put the mirror back on the bench and hop onto the slab. Use the wooden arm on Rincewind and talk to the mortician. Great you passed the tests. Unfortunately he forgot to tell you about the final test. To check body temperature. The size of the thermometer and its intended target give Rincewind a shock and he fails the body temperature test. Something is clearly need to reduce Rincewind's temperature. Some ice would be just the job.
Go to the sewers where you got the glitter dust. Nearby is a ladder leading up to the Pork Futures warehouse. You can not just pick up the ice though, you need something to break a chunk of it off. Go to the cemetery and take the pickaxe and use it to get some ice. Now return to the mortuary and repeat the previous procedure but this time use the ice on Rincewind. You get your death certificate. Show it to the dead collector and it's hi ho of to XXXX.
When you get there death is lounging around on Bonedie beach. Have a chat with him and he finally agrees to come back but only if you can make him more popular. How about a clickie with him in the starring role. Who do you know who does clickies; Dibbler of course. So it's off back to Ank Morpork and talk to him. He agrees but requires three things; Some novelties, a gorgeous babe and a catchy jingle with a band to sing it.
There is a novelty shop on the docks in Ank Morpork but since Rincewind has no way of getting in there he is going to have to break down the wall.
Head for Holy wood. Here you will find a 1 ton weight. Take it and return to the docks. Use the weight on the hook which held the net. Swing the weight against the wall. It is not heavy enough to break the wall, so you need to find a way to make it heavier. Go back to Holywood. Look at the mail box near where you got the weight. It has a label with 10 on it take the label and go and stick it onto the weight and try again. This time the wall is demolished. Pick up the novelties and head back to Holywood and give them to Dibbler.
A GORGEOUS BABE.
The obvious candidate for this is the milk maid, who has now taken up residence in the trailer near where Dibbler is. Look at the door, it is locked. The Troll security guard has the key. Talk to him and persuade him to give it to you. Open the trailer door and go and talk to the milk maid. She will help you, but only if you find her a little friend; by which she means a diamond. In the course of your conversation with the troll you should have discovered that trolls teeth are made of diamond. Earlier in the game when you spoke to Gimlet you should have discovered that trolls are very partial to Rock candy, but he has run out.
The source of rock candy is Djelibeybi. So head off there. Look at the rock candy and talk to the rock seller. Just as you are about to clinch the deal a bunch of women appear and grab it. It seems that this is used as ammunition for stonings, but there is not one scheduled for a couple of months. Rincewind is going to have to arrange a stoning, since he can't wait that long. Remember the suffrajester, back in Ank Morpork? She would be ideal.
First go to the stoning area which is to the left of the rock seller and take the stake. Go back to Ank Morpork. The suffrajester has tied herself to the dovecote in the university gardens. Talk to her and then use the stake on the compost heap. The suffrajester will tie herself to the stake and Rincewind can grab the stake with her attached and head back to Djelibeybi. Go to the stoning area and use the stake on the hole. After the stoning take the rock candy and the rope and head back to Holywood. Give the rock candy to the troll and when he complains of toothache use the rope on him. Take the diamond and give it to the milk maid. Pick up the milk maid and give her to Dibbler.
A CATCHY JINGLE
Go to Djelibeybi and talk to Uri Djeller. He tells you about a philosopher in the desert. You can not get there on foot so hire a camel and head off into the desert. Go to the cartwheel and talk to the philosopher. He writes a jingle for you but before he will give it to you, you must find the answer to the eternal question; WHY.
The computer in Unseen University’s High Energy Facility could supply the answer. Go and talk to Skazz. Since your last visit the machine does not work due to a shortage of ants. So off you go to get some. There is an anthill near Bonedie beach, but of course you can't just pick them up. You need some bait. A hamper full of food would do.
Go and talk to Dibbjla in his shop. He will give you a boomerang. Look at the baskets in his shop and buy a basket. An empty basket is no use of course so you need to fill it. Go to the dining hall in the University and use the basket on the anthill. Go back to the High Level Energy Facility and use the basket on the machine. You didn't think it would be that easy did you? The little buggers are quite happy where they are and show no inclination to get into the machine. You need something to tempt them, something sweet. How about some honey? First you need a container. Go to Shades. Near the Beggars there is a pot, go and get it then go to the bee hives. Use the same procedure as you did to get the wax but use the pot on the hives. Now go back to the High Level Energy Facility and use the pot on the hamper. Hooray success the ants are now in the machine and you can ask your question WHY? Skazz tells you that it will take a little time; about two million years.
Back in Djelibeybi there is a man who builds pyramids which slow down time. Maybe he could build one to accelerate time. So head off there but first pick up the hoops from the croquet lawn. When you get back to Djelybebi talk to the architect and take the plans from the wall.
Now go to the square and talk to Uri Djeller. Give him the croquet hoops and he will straighten them for you. Now go back to the High Level Energy Facility and use the plans on the wires, to construct a pyramid. Use the pyramid on the machine and then talk to Skazz. Finally you get the answer, BECAUSE!. OK head back off to the Philosopher and give him the answer and he will give you the jingle. Go and give it to Dibbler. You still need a band to perform the jingle.
Go to the hill near Djelybebi and talk to Bone Idle. He agrees to perform. Use the knife to cut him down and go and give the band to Dibbler. Great you got everything now you can start shooting, but where is the star DEATH? Still in make up. DEATH is being awkward and nothing the make up girl does is right. She refuses to do any more unless you bring her a picture of the elven queen. To do this you are going to need a camera and an imp. Go to where the trainer is. There is a camera here so take it. You also need an imp to take the picture. Ask the trainer about imps. he tells you to take the one on the water cooler. The imp runs off as soon as you try to grab him. Use the boomerang with the paint. Then use it on the imp. Use the imp on the camera.
So off to find the Elven Queen. The only person who can tell you where to find her is Granny Weatherwax. So go to the mortuary in Ank Morpork and talk to her. She is being pestered by Casanunda, thanks to your efforts earlier in the game. Granny Weatherwax will only help you if you get rid of him. Talk to Casanunsda and tell him about the women in Djelybebi and he will be off. Now ask Granny Weatherwax about the Elven Queen. She shows you where the elven lands are situated.
Go there and double click on the stones Rincewind can get in but the luggage can not follow. Go to the castle and you are chased away by the guards. The guards mention that the Queen's pet is missing. Go and ask Granny Weatherwax about the pet. She tells you that it is a Unicorn. In the wardrobe department in Holywood there is a pantomime horse costume. The wardrobe lady will give it to you in exchange for some costume jewellery.
At the Oasis near Djelybebi there is a mummified arm with a ring on it. It is guarded by a pair of Vultures. They will not part with it so you need something to swap it for. The wooden arm would do but first you need to wrap it in some cloth. Go to Mrs. Cake's shop and take the scissors. Now where do you think you could find bandages? In a pyramid of course.
Go to the Pyramid near Djelybebi and use the scissors on the mummy inside the tomb. While you are here take the embalmers glue, you will need this later. Use the bandages on the wooden arm and return to the Oasis. Swap the wooden arm for the rotten arm. Go back to the wardrobe lady. Take the ring from the arm and give it to her. She will now give you the horse costume. To make it into a Unicorn you need a horn for it. Near the fools guild there is a hooter, go and get it. Now go to the dining room in the University. Talk to the librarian and ask him to partner you in the Unicorn suit. Use the suit on the Librarian, he takes the front end. Use the glue on the hooter, then use the hooter on the suit.
Go back to the Elven lands, but before entering transfer the purse from Rincewind's personal inventory to the luggage and the camera and the horse costume to the luggage's inventory. Enter the stone circle then use the horse costume on Rincewind. Enter the castle and use the camera on the Elven Queen. Get out of there and go back to Holywood. Give the picture of the Elven Queen to the make up artist. Ok everything is finally set to start shooting the film. Talk to Dibbler and the filming starts. After the first few scenes DEATH objects to having to perform his own stunts and demands that you provide him with a stunt double.
Go to Ank Morpork and go to the Fresh Start Club which is in Shades opposite Mrs. Cake's shop. Knock on the door at first you can not get in. Show the death certificate to Reg Shoe and he will let you in. Once inside open the closet. Inside is the Black Sheep's skeleton. Talk to him and ask him to be DEATH's double. He agrees but the actor's union will not allow him to perform unless he can provide proof of his ancestry. This can be found in a cave near Bonedie beach. The only way to get to the cave is to surf the waves. Go to Mrs. Cake's shop and open the closet. Take the ironing board and use the saw on it to remove the legs. Go to Bonedie beach and use the board on the surf. At first Rincewind keeps falling off so use the glue on the board. Rincewind will now end up in the cave. Look at the paintings and use the camera on them. Show the pictures of the cave paintings to the sheep. Finally the film is made. Rincewind now appears at the premiere of DEATH's clickie. The audience hates it. In the projection room Rincewind must sort it out. Take the reel of film off the projector and use it on the editing table. Splice in the left over footage of the Elven Queen and run the film again. This time it is a success. The success of his film has gone to DEATH' head and he is hailed as a cult idol. He is now unwilling to return to his old job, so poor old Rincewind is lumbered and must take on the job.
ACT THREE -
THE GRIM RINCEWIND
Binky, DEATH's horse whisks you away to his house. Enter the house and go to the kitchen. Here you meet Albert, the butler. He tells you that before you can take on the job. You will need to demonstrate your ability to ride Binky and a black robe, a deep booming voice and a scythe. On the table is a sugar bowl. If Rincewind could take them and give them to Binky that would surely do the trick. Albert, however is not willing to part with them. Leave the kitchen and go up the stairs. Enter DEATH's study and pull the cord. Albert leaves the kitchen to investigate, giving you just enough time to nip into the kitchen and grab the sugar. Go to the stable and give the sugar to Binky. Pick up the saddle and use it on Binky. Try to ride the horse. Albert gives Binky a slap, making him rear up and throw Rincewind. Use the glue on the saddle and try again. This time Albert is convinced. Now you need to find a black robe.
Go back to the house and take the curtains from the hallway. Show this to Albert. He says that it is not black enough. Go back to the study and take the inkwell. Go to the garden, to the right of the stable and use the ink on the fishpond. Use the curtain on the pond then go and show it to Albert. He grudgingly agrees that it will do. Now for the voice. Take the rope from the stable and tie it to the boomerang. Go back to the house and throw the boomerang at the chimney. Climb up and shout down the chimney. Albert is a bit hard of hearing and can not hear you properly. go back to the kitchen and open the pot belly stove. Now go back to the chimney and try again. Success! The final part is to get a scythe. There is one in the umbrella stand by the front door. Take it and show it to Albert. He says that you must demonstrate that you can use it by reaping the corn in the field. Go to the field and use the scythe on the corn. Unfortunately Rincewind's efforts are pretty pathetic. If only he had something to use it with to make it more efficient.
In the garden is a toy cart. This belongs to Susan, DEATH's grand daughter. Talk to her and she agrees to give you it in exchange for one of the biographies from the library; specifically Rincewind's biography. Go to the library and take it to her. However she has now changed her mind and wants a book with pictures. These books are hidden away in a locked alcove in the library. Go to the house and pick up the door mat. Underneath is a key. Take the key and go to the library On the far right hand side is the alcove. Unlock it and enter. It is pitch black in here and Rincewind can not see a thing. What is obviously needed is a candle. From his experience earlier in the game Rincewind knows how to make candles. All he needs is the raw materials. There are bee hives in the garden, but before he can get it he needs a veil, some smoke and string for the wick. Go up the stairs and into Susan's bed room. Take the bunny rabbit and the ball of string. Inside the rabbit is a night dress which will serve as a veil. Go to the kitchen and take the oily rag. Go to the garden and use the night dress on Rincewind. Light the oily rag with the matches and use it on the bee hive and get some wax. Use the wax on the string to make a candle and return to the library. Light the candle then enter the alcove and take the tablet. return to the garden and give it to Susan. She now gives you the cart.
Go to the corn field and use the scythe on the cart then use it on the corn. Return to the house and talk to Albert. He says you are now ready but first he wants you to do a trial run and collect 100 souls. Go to DEATH's study and examine the ledger. Listed here are the 100 ants from Skazz's machine. These are now in the pit which is to the right of the sun dial in the garden. Go to the garden and use the same procedure as before. Collect some honey from the bee hives, but this time use the sugar bowl on the hives. Take the fishing rod from the gnome and use it on the sugar bowl. Now use this on the pit to collect the ant souls. Go and give them to Albert. Shortly after this Albert arrives and gives you your first assignment.
TILL DEATH US DO PART
It seems that DEATH's sudden rise to fame has not gone down well with the Patrician and he has taken out a contract on him with the Assassins Guild. Rincewind arrives at Bonestock, DEATH's pop festival just in time to witness the explosion. DEATH is fading fast and unless he can do something pretty quick Rincewind is going to have to take on the job permanently. Take the cork from DEATH's hat and head for Djelibeybi. Talk to Uri Djeller. He tells Rincewind about the Fountain Of Youth. The location is only known to a prospector who visits Djelibeybi occasionally. Rincewind can not follow the prospector and must find some other way to track him. Astute gamers will have noticed that ever since he took the rotten arm Rincewind has been followed by two Vultures. When the prospector arrives go to where he has hitched his camel. Take the canteen from the saddlebag and replace it with the rotting arm. When the prospector leaves the location of the Fountain Of Youth will appear on the map. Go there and fill the canteen with water from the fountain. What Rincewind really needs is to replenish the hour glass before it runs out. Use the cork on the fountain and then use the hour glass on the sand. DEATH now undergoes a startling rejuvenation. The assassin appears and attempts to see of Rincewind but DEATH appears just in the nick of time and takes his revenge on the assassin.
DEATH is now finally re-instated in his rightful capacity and Rincewind is the hero of the hour. He shows the movie of the story but the film breaks. In his haste to repair the film Rincewind inadvertently splices in footage of the Elven Queen. The Queen bursts from the screen and in a parody of King Kong grabs the librarian and climbs the tower of the University. Rincewind must prevent her from destroying Ank Morpork. The solution is to destroy her beauty with water. Buy some bladders from Dibbler and fill them with water from the canteen. Look at the Raven and talk to Granny Weatherwax. Persuade her to transform into the raven. Pick up granny Weatherwax's broom and use it. Rincewind now flies up to the spire and bombards the Queen with water.
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