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Hump Day #1042555
11/24/15 10:12 PM
11/24/15 10:12 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.
~ANONYMOUS~

````````````````````````````

Wouldn't it be nice if there was an answer to all the things we ponder? This Things To Ponder list highlights the many, well, inconsistencies and questions we all have. But really, Things To Ponder is actually pretty funny!


1. Is there another word for synonym?

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

7. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

8. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

9. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?

10. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

11. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

12. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

13. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

14. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

15. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

16. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

17. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

18. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

19. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

20. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

21. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

22. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through ugly bank machines?

23. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

24. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

25. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

26. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

27. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.

28. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

29. The older you get, the better you realize you were.

30. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

31. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

32. Women like silent men, they think they're listening.

33. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

34. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

35. Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?

36. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

37. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

38. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

39. If God dropped acid, would he see people?

40. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

41. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

42. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

43. If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?

44. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

45. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

`````````````````````````````````

Shortly after the construction of the twin-towered Time Warner Center in Manhattan (home to twenty million dollar condos featuring, its owners claimed, the "most commanding view of any residences overlooking Central Park"), Donald Trump had banners hung from his own World Tower, a neighboring building to the north.

Trump's message? "Your views aren't so great, are they? We have the real Central Park views and address! Best Wishes, The Donald."

``````````````````````

From the March 1990 Playboy interview with Donald Trump:

Playboy: How is your marriage?

Trump: Just fine. Ivana is a very kind and good woman. I also think she has the instincts and drive of a good manager. She's focused and she's a perfectionist.

Playboy: And as a wife, not a manager?

Trump: I never comment on romance.... She's a great mother, a good woman who does a good job.

Playboy: What is marriage to you? Is it monogamous?

Trump: I don't have to answer that. I never speak about my wife--which is one of the advantages of not being a politician. My marriage is and should be a personal thing.

````````````````````````

Two robins were lying on their backs, basking in the sun. A
mama cat and her kitten were walking by.

The kitten complained, "Mama, I'm sooo hungry, what can we
eat?"

To which the mama cat, spying the two robins, replied, "How
about some Baskin Robbins?"

``````````````````````````````

Good morning everybommie. welcome


It's only 9:15pm here but I'm already ready for bed of course. tired


3:30 this morning was an age ago. yes


I have two days to recover my strength though, and even more importantly, my sanity. crazy


I'll have two days to sanitize my house too. snicker


Isn't that spiffy? woot


Have a happy day everyone. urock


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 11/24/15 10:14 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1042557
11/24/15 10:23 PM
11/24/15 10:23 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,362
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,362
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great Wednesday everyone. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1042560
11/24/15 11:09 PM
11/24/15 11:09 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 80,961
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 80,961
In the Naughty Corner
Where is the week going? It's zooming by.

My son and daughter are coming over and so is baby James today. We will go see Santa. yay

Have a great day all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1042565
11/25/15 01:27 AM
11/25/15 01:27 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning have all a happy day. smile wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1042573
11/25/15 04:13 AM
11/25/15 04:13 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,348
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,348
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Space, Ana and Haroula. Coffee and tea are ready. Wishing you all a great day! wave


Gerry
Re: Hump Day [Re: Haroula] #1042611
11/25/15 10:48 AM
11/25/15 10:48 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,863
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,863
Alabama
Happy Hump Day ya'll puppy


Today is Cooking cooking cooking! I'm gonna start with a Boston Cream Pie after I post. I've never made it before. The recipe is a bit time consuming, but sounds delicous. We shall see how it turns out. That will be followed by dressing, then cucumber salad (has to drain 24 hours), casseroles and refrigerator space juggling to make room for it all. All that shall be followed by collapsing into a hot bath. That's my day in a nutshell.

Joe, whatcha doing for T'day? Do you still have the kitty? How is Miss Pepper?

Space, are you off today?

Ana, yes it is. The entire year has. Have fun at Santa.

Haroula wave

Gerry, thanks for the coffee and the tea. I'll start with coffee and switch to tea for the afternoon.

Back later wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Hump Day [Re: looney4labs] #1042614
11/25/15 11:03 AM
11/25/15 11:03 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and hope your Hump Day is extremely happy!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Busy week. Will do shopping after work.

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1042634
11/25/15 01:23 PM
11/25/15 01:23 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,863
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,863
Alabama
Cake in the oven...we shall see. Off to do the cukes wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1042646
11/25/15 02:20 PM
11/25/15 02:20 PM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Afternoon Boomers

Been baking all morning. A few of my kids come for Thanksgiving dinner. The rest come for dessert. So it's a busy baking day for me.

Wishing everyone a great Hump Day. broccoli


Gail
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1042652
11/25/15 02:44 PM
11/25/15 02:44 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,623
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,623
northern Wisconsin
Have been busy, busy, busy!!! I have a moment to stop in and say HI!!!

Joe glad you have a couple days to recuperate!! thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Space have a lovely day!

Ana have fun visiting Santa!!!! Have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Gerry thank you for the coffee! Have a lovely day!

L4l you sound busy, busy too!!! Prayers that all comes out well at the dentist!! HUGS! Have a lovely day!

Darlene may work go smooth and the shopping too! Have a lovely day!

Gail you been busy, busy too!! Nice that at sometime tomorrow they will all be home!! Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1042657
11/25/15 03:07 PM
11/25/15 03:07 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yeah Joe -what ever happened to Sambo? Is he doing well? Now this is the 2nd time I've asked. boohoo poor me -

L4L is sambo the kitty you meant?


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Hump Day [Re: Yankee Clipper] #1042660
11/25/15 03:32 PM
11/25/15 03:32 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,362
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,362
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great Turkey Day everyone. thanksgiving turkey fall


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1042672
11/25/15 06:05 PM
11/25/15 06:05 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,863
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,863
Alabama
Still cooking cooking cooking but winding down...... turkey


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Hump Day [Re: looney4labs] #1042674
11/25/15 06:41 PM
11/25/15 06:41 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,362
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,362
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Big crowd tomorrow looney?


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1042675
11/25/15 07:08 PM
11/25/15 07:08 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,863
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,863
Alabama
Space, no not at all...just the 5 of us, but Thanksgiving is when I do the big cook. Traditionally I'll cook for 3 days 7 or 8 hours a day as everything is made from scratch. Most of the dishes I cook at Thanksgiving, is only cooked at Thanksgiving, so we all look forward to it. Everyone has their favorites...I'd be fine with just Dressing. Of course, AFTER we eat on Thanksgiving, I don't even go in the kitchen for days. The guys clean up and make me plates of food, coffee, tea, etc. rotfl

I've been watching sappy Christmas movies while I cooked. I am done for the day. Still lots of cooking tomorrow, but the boys won't be here til the afternoon, so we'll eat 5ish instead of 2ish. I'm eager to taste the Boston Cream Pie....looks good.

I would not mind having folks over but that would mean I'd have to clean, and I don't want to do that. I need staff eek lol

I'll make something at Christmas, but T'day is our big blow out. I did cut out a few of the expected dishes, but suffice it to say, no one will be hungry around here tomorrow, or for a few days after.

How bout you?

Yankee, yep that's the one. You cooking or heading out?


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Hump Day [Re: looney4labs] #1042697
11/25/15 11:27 PM
11/25/15 11:27 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,362
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,362
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Sounds like a feast looney. I hope you, soot, the doggies and the rest of your family have a great day. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
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