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Monday Murmuring #1046373
12/20/15 08:35 PM
12/20/15 08:35 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
The baby is great. My wife and I have just started potty training. Which I think is important because when we want to potty train the baby, we should set an example.

—Howie Mandell

```````````````````````````````

While on maneuvers in the 
Mojave Desert, our convoy got lost, forcing our lieutenant to radio for help.

“Are you near any landmarks that might help us locate you?” the base operator asked him.

“Yes,” said the lieutenant. “We are directly under the moon.”

```````````````````````````

During that first roll call in the Army, I waited in dread as the sergeant got to my name: DiFeliciantonio. There was bound to be trouble, and 
I was right, because suddenly, he 
fell silent—eyebrows arched, brain overloaded. After a long pause, he thundered, “The whole alphabet?!”

``````````````````````

After my three-year-old begged and begged, I gave in and 
let her attend a concert with her older sister and brother. As we 
took our seats, I handed programs 
to the kids. Following the lead of her siblings, my three-year-old opened her program and announced, “I’ll have the chicken.”

``````````````````````

A commercial boasted that its product could help people live 
pain-free in their golden years.

“Am I in my golden years?” my wife, 63, asked.

“Not at all,” I assured her. “Just mildly jaundice.”

```````````````````````````````

I’m at the library, and for some reason, when I plug my flash drive into the computer, it doesn’t show up. I keep trying, but nothing happens. As an IT major, I know I can figure this out. So I spend 15 minutes changing settings and inserting and removing the flash drive. Then a girl sitting next to me taps my shoulder and says, “You’re plugging into my computer, not yours.”

`````````````````````

When I spotted a Navy captain 
on the street, I saluted and bellowed, “LST 395,” which was the designation and number of the ship I served on during World War II.

The captain returned my salute and responded, “LMD 67.”

“What’s an LMD?” I asked.

“Large mahogany desk.”

```````````````````

A military base commander called to complain that the weather-forecasting software our company created for them kept reporting 
unexplainable wind shifts.

“Do you know where the sensor is located?” my coworker asked.

“Of course,” he responded. “It’s where we park the helicopters.”

````````````````````````

om say what?!)

Texting acronyms can stump even the best parents:

Mom: Your great-aunt just passed away. LOL.

Son: Why is that funny?

Mom: It’s not funny, David! What do you mean?

Son: Mom, LOL means Laughing Out Loud.

Mom: I thought it meant Lots 
of Love. I have to call everyone back.

~

Daughter: I got an A in Chemistry.

Mom: WTF!

Daughter: Mom, what do you think WTF means?

Mom: Well That’s Fantastic.

~
Mom: What do IDK, LY & TTYL mean?

Son: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.

Mom: OK, I will ask your sister.

```````````````````````````

A long line leading to the ladies’ room greeted my friend’s wife. Since desperate times call for desperate measures, my friend took her 
into the empty men’s room, then stood guard. When she exited a few minutes later, a man waiting his turn called out, “I hope you remembered to put up the toilet seat.”

`````````````````````

When I bought beer at the 
grocery store, the clerk asked for 
my birthdate.

I said, “10-3-60.”

Her next question: “Is that ‘19’ 60?”

`````````````````````

The water I was heating for pasta refused to boil, and if my 12-year-old son was right, I wasn’t helping by constantly checking on it.

“It’s like that old saying,” he said. “ ‘A watched website never loads.’ ”

```````````````````````

Ah, marriage. I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring my reflection, when I posed this question to my wife of 30 years: “Will you still love me when I’m old, fat, and balding?”

She answered, “I do.”

`````````````````````````

My young son ran to me, crying. “Daddy, I stubbed my toe,” he sobbed.

“Let me kiss it and make it better,” I said. “Which toe was it?”

“The one that has no roast beef.”

````````````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


Here we go again. Early to bed and early to rise makes a man a good burglary suspect.


This week I work Mon and Tue, off Wed, work Thurs, off Fri. wink12


Then I work Sat, Sun, Mon, Tue to finish out the year. santadance


Only 11 shopping days left untill semi-retirement. yay12


I'm semi-excited. bravo12


Now though I only have about 11 more minutes of consciousness. sleep12


Have a happy day everyone. holidays



joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Monday Murmuring [Re: gymcandy1] #1046375
12/20/15 09:28 PM
12/20/15 09:28 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,353
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,353
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Let's get Christmas week started off right. Have a great Monday everyone. happydance12


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday Murmuring [Re: gymcandy1] #1046379
12/20/15 10:00 PM
12/20/15 10:00 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a great Monday Joe, Space Quest and all who follow. wave12

It's Sunday night for me, and I have an extra long day at work tomorrow. I've started to feel a little better this evening, and I'm hoping the long day won't make things worse again. I'm off to sleep a little earlier than usual, so hopefully that will help. smile12

Have a great day, everyone. tree


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Monday Murmuring [Re: gymcandy1] #1046380
12/20/15 10:03 PM
12/20/15 10:03 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 80,857
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 80,857
In the Naughty Corner
Happy Monday Joe, SpaceQ and all.

I'm beyond exhausted. Family just left and there is peace and quiet. Merlin is as happy as I am about that. It's been quite the week of being sick and cooking, cleaning and pulling off a successful day for 16 people. Today is a day of rest...

Ana wave12


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday Murmuring [Re: gymcandy1] #1046391
12/21/15 02:27 AM
12/21/15 02:27 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning,have all a nice day.
We have the Christmas celebration at kindergarten
today. santadance


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Monday Murmuring [Re: gymcandy1] #1046398
12/21/15 04:55 AM
12/21/15 04:55 AM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 634
Sweden
RebKean Offline
Settled Boomer
RebKean  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 634
Sweden
Morning all.
Was up early (for me) to get to the hairdresser in time. Feels good. wink12
Have a great day! wave12

Re: Monday Murmuring [Re: gymcandy1] #1046400
12/21/15 05:54 AM
12/21/15 05:54 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,343
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,343
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, venus, Haroula, Ana, RebKean and everyone. Coffee and tea are ready as usual. Joe looks like a good week ahead for you. SpaceQ sounds like a great idea! Venus hope you feel better. Ana what a busy week you've had! Haroula have fun at the Christmas party with the children.

tree It does feel good to get up early RebKean! Wishing you all a stress free day. tree


Gerry
Re: Monday Murmuring [Re: gymcandy1] #1046405
12/21/15 06:53 AM
12/21/15 06:53 AM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 634
Sweden
RebKean Offline
Settled Boomer
RebKean  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 634
Sweden
It does feel good to get up early. When your up that is, hehe. It also feels good being up really late, 'cause it's quiet then. =)
Oh, I'll have a cup of tea please.

Re: Monday Murmuring [Re: gymcandy1] #1046409
12/21/15 08:08 AM
12/21/15 08:08 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 13,998
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Adept Boomer
connie  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 13,998
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Monday. The Christmas Gathering yesterday was Great. tree Today I will bake cookies for our family Christmas Gathering and dinner. santadance Danish, BB Pancakes, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. christmas


Connie
Re: Monday Murmuring [Re: gymcandy1] #1046415
12/21/15 08:53 AM
12/21/15 08:53 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Happy Monday and Merry Christmas Week to all! santadance presents12 santa


Gail
Re: Monday Murmuring [Re: GBC] #1046445
12/21/15 12:11 PM
12/21/15 12:11 PM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave12 Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and hope your Christmas week goes smoothly! Happy Monday Murmuring!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Monday Murmuring [Re: gymcandy1] #1046478
12/21/15 02:40 PM
12/21/15 02:40 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,882
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,882
Alabama
Merry Christmas Boomers!

Thanks for the Diner Joe urock

reindeer

L4L hearts


Dan
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Monday Murmuring [Re: gymcandy1] #1046483
12/21/15 02:55 PM
12/21/15 02:55 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,859
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,859
Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy reindeer

I've been in the kitchen all morning and am heading back up there as soon as I post.

Yogurt is in stage 1, and granola bars are almost ready to be cut, and then cooled. Next up is some alchemizing for icky joint pain. I figure if I throw enough stuff at my knee/leg/ankle/foot, I'll eventually solve the problem, or at the very least, I'll know what doesn't work. lol12

Daughter is still on the road back home. She has to work tomorrow. Son is at work. Hubby is off til next year. Boys are at moms but will be back either tonight or tomorrow.

Ana, sounds like you had a lovely day, if a stressful one. I hope you do rest today.

Connie, what kind of cookies?

Soot kissy12

Hope everyone is having a wonderful day reindeer


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday Murmuring [Re: gymcandy1] #1046484
12/21/15 02:57 PM
12/21/15 02:57 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Just had the most sour kiwi fruit ever in this whole world -they pick them too green. Since it's my b'day I put some sugar on it instead of a show of fortitude. Still sour.

Commander Buttons can't decide what to eat today -so far he's had chopped simmered chicken breasts, 2 fancy feast flavors and some temptations. Maybe it's the weather which is usually warm, a most beauty day.

On to ken ken, sudoku and the other games

Happy monday all


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Monday Murmuring [Re: Yankee Clipper] #1046530
12/21/15 04:58 PM
12/21/15 04:58 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,353
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,353
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. santa


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday Murmuring [Re: gymcandy1] #1046539
12/21/15 05:22 PM
12/21/15 05:22 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Hi all. I spent the morning getting my car fixed and now I'm just hanging here getting ready to go to work. I hope you all had a good day today. Ana, I hope you're resting now smile12 See you after work.

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Monday Murmuring [Re: gymcandy1] #1046545
12/21/15 07:13 PM
12/21/15 07:13 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,859
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,859
Alabama
Yankee, Cmdr Buttons has a rough life lol12

Midgy, glad your car is hale and hearty again. Be safe!

I'm done in the kitchen. In fact, I'm done for the day. Nice creamy salve made and cleaned up. Smoothies done and in the fridge for son and in hand for hubby and I.

Daughter has made it home and is unpacking.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday Murmuring [Re: looney4labs] #1046562
12/21/15 09:50 PM
12/21/15 09:50 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,353
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,353
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers.


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday Murmuring [Re: gymcandy1] #1046564
12/21/15 10:47 PM
12/21/15 10:47 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep12


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Monday Murmuring [Re: gymcandy1] #1046572
12/21/15 11:27 PM
12/21/15 11:27 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,859
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,859
Alabama
Sleepy time


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
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