GAMEBOOMERS provides you with all the latest PC adventure computer games information, forum, walkthroughs, reviews and news.

GB Reviews

Latest & Upcoming Adventure Games

GB Annual Game Lists

GB Interviews

BAAGS

GB @ acebook

About Us

Walkthroughs

free games galore

Game Publishers & Developers

World of Adventure

Patches

GB @ witter

GameBoomers Store

Print Thread
Toe-Tapping Tuesday #1102884
03/06/17 09:35 PM
03/06/17 09:35 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it isn’t open.

FRANK ZAPPA

````````````````````

World Domination Part II

World domination is everyone's dream. It's not a bad job really. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However, every Evil Villian I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. Therefore, I follow these guidelines while conquering the world...


51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the hot friend of the hero's cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.

52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

53. If the hot friends of the hero that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.

54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.

55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.

56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.

58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.

59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.

60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.

61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.

63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.

64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.

65. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.

66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.

67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.

68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.

69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.

72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable super-weapon on them.

73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.

74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.

75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.

76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutenant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.

78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."

79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.

80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.

81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.

83. If I�m eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.

84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.

85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."

86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.

87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.

89. After I captures the hero's super-weapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.

91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.

92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say that his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.

94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.

95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cell-mate tells the guard it�s an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.

96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.

97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.

98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.

100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach.

``````````````

Worlds Smallest Books

The Code of Ethics for Lawyers

The Australian Book of Foreplay

The Book of Motivated Postal Workers

Americans' Guide to Etiquette

The World Guide to Good American Beer

Royal Family's Guide to Good Marriages

Safe Places to Travel in the USA

Bill Clinton: A Portrait of Integrity

Jerry Garcia's Guide to Beating Drug Addiction

Contraception by Pope John Paul II

Cooking Gourmet Dishes With Tofu

The Complete Guide to Catholic Sex

The Wit and Wisdom of Dan Quayle.

Consumer Marketing Ethics

Al Gore: The Wild Years

America's Most Popular Lawyers

Career Opportunities for History Majors

Detroit - A Travel Guide

Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches

Easy UNIX

Everything Men Know about Women

George Foreman's Big Book of Baby Names

Mike Tyson's Guide to Dating Etiquette

The Amish Phone Book

Great Women Drivers Of Today

Beauty Secrets by Janet Reno

Home Built Airplanes by John Denver

How To Get To The Super Bowl by Dan Marino

Things I Love About Bill by Hillary Clinton

My Life's Memories by Ronald Reagan

Things I Can't Afford by Bill Gates

Things I Would Not Do For Money by Dennis Rodman

The Wild Years by Al Gore

Amelia Earhart's Guide To The Pacific

America's Most Popular Lawyers

All The Men I've Loved Before by Ellen DeGeneres

Spotted Owl Recipes by the Sierra Club

```````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


One terrific Tuesday coming at ya. joy2


I plan on driving out to the sod farm and dig around. joy


It's 75 degrees now, and Tuesday's high will be 72. bravo


L4L we've had the wind today too. I went out to the Blue River North of here to head hunt, and the wind blew me around like a tumble weed. smirk


I came back home at around one, and spent the afternoon cleaning out more of my flower bed, since the trash man cometh on Tuesday. yes


The wind saved me from the 80 degree heat at that. slapforehead


I hope Tuesday is a better day for head hunting. happydance


Have a happy day everyone.


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 03/06/17 09:38 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Toe-Tapping Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1102892
03/06/17 11:50 PM
03/06/17 11:50 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 81,652
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 81,652
In the Naughty Corner
Windy here too, Joe! Storms coming in too. I hope you have a successful hunt at the sod farm! joy

birthday Connie! Cake in the corner!

Have a great day all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Toe-Tapping Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1102911
03/07/17 06:34 AM
03/07/17 06:34 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,374
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,374
Marlborough USA
spring Good morning Joe, Ana and everyone. Good Luck today Joe! Enjoy your day Ana. Coffee and tea are ready to go with Connie's Birthday cake! Happy Birthday Connie! birthday
Have a wonderful day all! spring


Gerry
Re: Toe-Tapping Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1102922
03/07/17 08:08 AM
03/07/17 08:08 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers hamster

Happy Birthday Connie. birthday

Joe, happy hunting!

Ana, have a great day!

Gerry, coffee and cake this morning. Yes!

Wishing every Boomer a wonderful day! wavegirl


Gail
Re: Toe-Tapping Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1102926
03/07/17 08:42 AM
03/07/17 08:42 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 14,868
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Adept Boomer
connie  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 14,868
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Great Tuesday. Thanks for the Birthday wishes. Dinner, Dancing, Karaoke, and celebrating 4 Birthdays tonight at 8-8 Panda. There are 4 of us females celebrating tonight with our families and friends. Danish, BB Pancakes, Biscuits and Gravy, and French Toast in the NC. spring


Connie
Re: Toe-Tapping Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1102955
03/07/17 12:22 PM
03/07/17 12:22 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,623
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,623
northern Wisconsin
Joe, good luck at the sod farm! Thanks for the laughs and have a lovely day!

Ana don't blow away in that wind! Stormed here yesterday and last night we got a touch of snow. Have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

Gail hope it's nice enough for a Nina walk. Have a lovely day!

Connie birthday Sounds like a wonderful evening....enjoy!!! Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: Toe-Tapping Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1102957
03/07/17 12:24 PM
03/07/17 12:24 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,894
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,894
Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

It's a wet day in AL....let dogs out, let dogs in, dry dogs off, repeat...that's my day wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Toe-Tapping Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1102959
03/07/17 12:48 PM
03/07/17 12:48 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,843
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,843
San Diego, CA
A mystery to be solved. Outdoorsie's feeding table was of course empty of food this morning, BUT in the dish where the dry food goes, there were huge dried drops of blood around the rim. Yikes! I found a few more across to the wet food plate, then down the step ladder to the deck. Didn't look like a footprint, just drops. Then I went around the corner to the water dishes and they were RED! Yeah, something had either bleed into it from a mouth injury, or had washed off their 'prey'. If it's the latter, I'm guessing raccoon got something small like a baby possum. Can't tell yet since I've not seen the new crop of possum babies. Might be some about rat size that came for food last night after I went to bed.

In any case, something got got and carried to the water dishes (about 10 feet away) or a battle ensued on the table between possum and raccoon or something else I haven't seen. All kitties accounted for and unharmed. Tonight I will 'inspect' the raccoons and possums for injuries. Didn't find feathers so it's not a bird. Horrible to think what happened. scared

Every season, some poor baby something gets killed or eaten on my deck. Nature does its thing. Usually I find the 'body' and dispose of it, but this time, nothing. The fouled water dishes are the clue. Only the raccoons wash their food. The possums wash their bodies. Gotta wait for dark. Sigh.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Toe-Tapping Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1102960
03/07/17 12:52 PM
03/07/17 12:52 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,894
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,894
Alabama
Eeeek, Sorta, sounds icky! Good luck figuring it out.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Toe-Tapping Tuesday [Re: looney4labs] #1102978
03/07/17 04:58 PM
03/07/17 04:58 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,509
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,509
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Toe-Tapping Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1103019
03/07/17 10:14 PM
03/07/17 10:14 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,894
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,894
Alabama
Afternoon, Space.

We are off to bed this rainy night.

Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Toe-Tapping Tuesday [Re: looney4labs] #1103020
03/07/17 10:28 PM
03/07/17 10:28 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,509
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,509
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers. sleep


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Previous Thread
Index
Next Thread

Moderated by  BrownEyedTigre, looney4labs 

Who's Online Now
2 registered members (family, 1 invisible), 26 guests, and 8 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Staff, Mod
Newest Members
AlessioFB, imjust2tired, ahaf, kamasutra7192, skeywester
9299 Registered Users
Powered by UBB.threads™