Every moment is a fresh beginning.
T. S. ELIOT
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Southern Sayings
You can decipher these funny southern sayings by listening twice as hard and putting your imagination to work.Act like you got some raising.
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Ain't got the sense that God gave a goose.
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Ain't nobody gonna mess on me and call it apple butter!
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As bad-off as a rubber-nosed woodpecker in a petrified forest.
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As confused as a cow on astroturf.
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As useful as a milk bucket under a bull.
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As welcome as an outhouse breeze.
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Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing!
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Barking up the wrong tree.
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Better a good plow mule than a lame horse!
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Between you and me and the fencepost.
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Bless her heart, she can’t help being ugly, but she could’ve stayed home.
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Busier than a cat covering c*rap on a marble floor.
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Busier than a one-armed paper-hanger.
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Busier than a one- eyed cat watching nine rat holes.
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Busy as a funeral home fan in July.
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But wait, there's more!
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Caught with your pants down.
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Close that NEWmonia hole.
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Close the door, you're letting the flies out.
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Cold as a banker's heart.
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Cold as a cast iron commode.
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Colder than an old maids bed in March.
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Couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with a bass fiddle.
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Cute as a box full of puppies.
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Don't bite off more than you can chew.
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Don't count your chickens until they hatch.
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Don't go off with your pistol half cocked.
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Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
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Don't know big wood from kenneling.
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Don't know your head from a hole in the ground.
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Don't that just crack yer yaller?
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Don't worry about the mule, just load the wagon.
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Don't you make eyes at me, boy!
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Don’t you pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’!
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Drunker than Cooter Brown.
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Dumb as a bag full of hammers.
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Dumb as a bucket of rocks.
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Each one of his sermons is better than the next!
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Egg-sucking dawg.
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Even a blind hog finds an acorn now and then.
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Enough wrinkles to hold an eight day rain.
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Everything he’s got is on the showroom floor.
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Excuses are like backsides. Everybody’s got one and they all stink.
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Feel like I’ been caught between a dog and a fire hydrant.
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Finer than frog hair.
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Fish or cut bait.
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Fly off the handle.
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Get me that whata-ma-call-it or thinga-ma-jig.
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Get the short end of the stick.
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Get your butt off your shoulders!
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Go cut me a switch.
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Go hog wild.
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Go to bed with the chickens.
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Going to town, be back directly.
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Got your feathers ruffled.
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Grab the bull by the tail and face the situation.
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Hand me that DO-HICKY.
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Happier than a fat tick on a skinny dog.
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Happy as a clam at high tide.
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Happy as a puppy with two tails.
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Have a cup of coffee, it’s already been ’saucered and blowed.
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Have no axe to grind.
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He ain’t got sense God promised a billy goat on a good day.
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He can’t see the forest for the trees.
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He could eat corn through a picket fence.
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She look finer 'n a new set of tires.
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Good morning everyboomie.

Welcome to the weekend!

No need to thank me, I didn't do anything.

It was some guy named Julian who discovered numbers, and figured out that the sun comes up exactly seven times a week.

They're so smart now they can even tell which days of the month that it rains, and it just so happens that it's scheduled to rain on my Saturday.

That's my rain dance.
I'm not complaining at all. I really need a shower.

So it's rainy Saturday, cool Saturday and Sunday, and then in 60s Monday and Tuesday, and my calendar is predicting that Monday or Tuesday is
Sod Farm Day.

Yes......it'll be a sod day indeed.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe