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Happy Hump Day #1141601
02/13/18 08:29 PM
02/13/18 08:29 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson~
`````````````````````


Spotted in the classifieds: “For sale: cemetery plot, $200, so 
I don’t have to spend all eternity 
beside my ex!”

`````````````

A few months ago, Hamas 
“arrested” a dolphin for being an 
Israeli spy. Readers of Reason 
magazine came up with titles for
 the film this action might inspire:

• Orcapussy
• Free Schmuelly
• Goldflipper
• The Porpoise-Driven Life
• Dolphinfidel

` ``````````

The Best of The Onion Magazine Covers

• “I Thought He Was Going to Kill Me”: One Woman’s Harrowing Misunderstanding of How Haircuts Work

• The 100 Worst Senators

• The World’s 10 Most Powerful Women: We Make Them Discuss Fashion and Lindsay Lohan

Source: The Onion Magazine: The Iconic Covers That Transformed an Undeserving World (Little, Brown)

```````````````

“Now hiring,” read the classified ad. “Cemetery superintendent. The ideal candidate must be able to supervise in a fast-paced environment.”

```````````

“Wanted to buy: playpen, cradle, high chair; also two single beds.”

````````

Just because the items in these classified ads are free doesn’t mean they’re worth it:

• Free: Piano with matching bench seat, very good condition, all keys work probably

Source: Gettysburg Area Merchandiser

• Free: 5 kitchen drawers, all matching naughty pine fronts

Source: Topeka Capital-Journal

• Free Vain Screening

Source: Boston Globe

• Free rent in exchange for elderly woman

```````````

We all make mistakes. Some 
are just more public than others, 
like these real newspaper typos:

“Here the bridal couple stood, 
facing the floral setting, and exchanged cows.” Modesto News-Herald (California)

“It took many rabbits many years to write the Talmud.” Holland Evening Sentinel (Michigan)

“Mrs. ____ fell down stairs at her home this morning, breaking her myhodudududududududosy, and suffered painful injuries.” Ohio paper

“A headline in an item in the 
Feb. 15th edition incorrectly stated ‘Stolen Groceries.’ It should have read: ‘Homicide.’” Enquirer-Bulletin

```````````

Think the comments on Internet posts are tough? See what happened when the Washington Post asked its readers to write intentionally angry letters to actual headlines:

Headline: 20,000 Pound Pavement to Help Homeless

Response: “Are you people idiots? What the homeless need are homes, not ten tons of additional pavement!”

Headline: Maryland Agrees to 
Tobacco Settlement

Response: “Well, that’s all we 
need—an entire settlement of people devoted to their cancer sticks. What’s next, a drunk-driving commune?”

Headline: C.C. United Se Une 
Hoy a Campana Solidaria Pro 
Centroamerica

Response: “I was disgusted with 
the sloppy spelling for [this] article. There were so many typos, I couldn’t understand a word.”

``````````

File These Headlines Under: We Don’t Even Want to Know.

•Firefighters Use Jaws of Life to Free High School Girl from Locker

•FDA Approves Third Silicone-Gel Breast Implant

•Missing Woman Unwittingly Joins Search Party Looking for Herself

•Woman’s “Stomach Bug” Actually Baby

`````````````

A headline in my local newspaper: “Appleton Airport May Soon Be Known as Appleton Airport.”

``````````````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


Hump day already? headscratch


Here's a headline for you; Senior Survives Another Day, Celebrates By Reminiscing About Yesterday. woot


I am fondly remembering when I had a laptop that worked. razz


I sent my laptop in for repair, and I'm on my back-up laptop. taz


Now I remember why I quit using this one. hardwall


Hope they hurry with the despair, I mean the repair. wink


Have a happy day everyone. happydance


joe





Last edited by gymcandy1; 02/13/18 10:44 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1141613
02/13/18 09:59 PM
02/13/18 09:59 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 35,061
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 35,061
Alabama
Gosh Joe...sure do hope you get your laptop fixed yes

Happy Hump day everyone

It's time for HQ Trivia

wave2


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1141624
02/14/18 12:00 AM
02/14/18 12:00 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 81,652
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 81,652
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, I hope you get it back quickly!

soot, I had to look that up! How fun!

It's warming up here but still over a foot of snow on the ground so walking is great fun!

Have a great day!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1141629
02/14/18 01:17 AM
02/14/18 01:17 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hope your laptop gets fixed quickly, Joe!

Like Ana, I also had to look this up. smile Have fun with HQ trivia, soot. thumbsup

Hope the snow melts, and it's easier to walk soon, Ana!

It's Tuesday night, and I'm off to sleep. It's going to be a long work day tomorrow. Wednesdays are always hard. crazy

Hope everyone has a terrific day. winter


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1141638
02/14/18 06:31 AM
02/14/18 06:31 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,374
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,374
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, soot, Ana, venus and everyone. Joe love the funnies this morning! grin Hope you get your computer back soon! Soot enjoy your HQ Trivia! yes Ana hope the snow melts soon. Ours is all gone! happydance12 Venus hope you Wednesday is not to bad a work day. smile Coffee, tea and hot chocolate are ready.
wave Wishing you all a Happy Day! wave


Gerry
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1141647
02/14/18 07:56 AM
02/14/18 07:56 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 14,868
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Adept Boomer
connie  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 14,868
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Lovely Hump Day. hearts Happy Valentines Day flowers Lunch and Netflix with a friend. Queen of Hearts at the Eagles tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, French Toast, and Bacon in the NC. kitty


Connie
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1141666
02/14/18 11:18 AM
02/14/18 11:18 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,894
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,894
Alabama
Happy Hump Day and Happy Valentine's Day ya'll puppy

Today is making bread day. And a little bit of vacuuming. Probably not much more. I hope you all have a wonderful day. wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1141680
02/14/18 12:28 PM
02/14/18 12:28 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,843
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,843
San Diego, CA
BBQ place nearby sent out two-for-one coupons. My friend and I are going for lunch. Nice. He's treating!


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1141699
02/14/18 03:35 PM
02/14/18 03:35 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,623
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,623
northern Wisconsin
Up early to take a friend in for her last CAT Scan!!! No more chemo or radiation!!!!! happydance

Have a wonderfully lovely day everybody!!!!

Ana hope all the snow don't melt at once! eek

Gail and L4l hope you are both feeling better!! HUGS and prayers!

wave
Nan

Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1141709
02/14/18 04:29 PM
02/14/18 04:29 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,894
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,894
Alabama
BBQ sounds wonderful, Sorta wave

Nan, that is wonderful news for your friend!


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1141749
02/14/18 10:35 PM
02/14/18 10:35 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 81,652
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 81,652
In the Naughty Corner
Nan, that is so awesome!!!

Nighty night all. Another long day winds down..


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1141766
02/15/18 01:25 AM
02/15/18 01:25 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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