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Monday's #1146838
04/01/18 09:15 PM
04/01/18 09:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,779
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,779
Calera, Oklahoma
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

~Andrew Jackson~
````````````````


The Best Redneck Jokes



Q: What is 35 feet long and has 42 teeth?
A: A bus full of rednecks.

One redneck to the other: Do you think I should tell my folks I’m adopted?

Redneck at the doctor: “Doc, I think I’m in trouble, I swallowed an ice cube 3 days ago and it ain’t come out yet.”

Q: What’s the downside of being a redneck kid at Christmas?
A: You just have one set of grandparents to get presents from.

How do you tell a redneck is married? There are tobacco spits on either side of his pickup truck.

Why do pigeons fly over trailer parks upside down? There’s nothing worth crapping on.

When two rednecks divorce, do they still remain family?

Redneck: "My girl broke up with me... at least she said we could still be cousins."

Why don’t rednecks get sick so often?
Germs have their pride too.


You know you might be a redneck when:


You see a "No crack" sign and you pull your pants up.

You see your f*arts as your best jokes.

The dog can’t help gagging whenever he sees you eat.

You finally get to cutting the grass and find a car.

You think the stock market has a fence around it.

Your family tree is just one long trunk with no branches.

Your beard attracts birds.

You took out your toothpick only for wedding pictures.

Fast food is hitting a possum at 80 mph.

You've at least once hit a deer with your car because the food store was already closed.

You’ve ever had the thought rat traps made acceptable gifts.

A night trip to the bathroom involves mud boots.

People hear you coming in your car quite a long time before they get to see you.

You have lard on your bedside table.

You had to ditch your back seat bench so all your children could fit in.

Sixth grade is senior year.

You have a really bad fall and the one thing you save is your beer.

You had to buy a VCR because all the wrestling matches are on when you're at work.

You take your garbage to the dump and come back with more than you brought there.

They banned you from the zoo because you distress the monkeys.

You keep seeing your neighbors on Jerry Springer.


You know you might be a redneck woman if:


There’s a spit cup on your bedside table.

You have more than one fur coat – all home made.

When something should be stored cold, you put it in the shade.

You see family reunions as a good chance to meet boys and your mother agrees.

You've ever had to get financing for a tattoo.

You’ve been married three times but your in-laws are still the same people.

Preparing a bubble bath involves beans for dinner.

Your fridge and you weigh roughly the same.

You owe money at the dollar store.

The school encourages you to stay away from PTA meetings at your son’s school.

You can burp your name.

````````````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


Welcome to the new week.....as opposed to nude week, which doesn't come until after Memorial day. thumbsup


I've gotta work on my tan before that gets here. razz


We are back down in the 60s for a few days here. The 50s for Monday actually. Guess I'll have to breakout my thermal underwear again. snicker


Actually if I'm outsie early, with the wind blowing the way is does around here when you don't want it to, I really do wish I had thermals on. shocked


Out at the sod farm you're in the wide open spaces, and the wind really pins your ears back, and makes your eyes and nose run like a faucet. yes


I don't plan on going back out there this week, but I might go to the creek. Not sure yet. duh


Have a happy day everyone. thumbsup


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 04/01/18 09:19 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1146842
04/01/18 09:22 PM
04/01/18 09:22 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 30,339
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 30,339
Usually in an Alabama Tree
lol my eyes and nose run like a faucet with my allergies Joe; Woot, congratulations on finding a point and tip

Ana, be sure to schedule time off on a regular basis and not just holidays...you will burn out if you don't...

Venus...glad you got your game downloaded and playing; isn't technology great when it works?

Good morning Gerry, Connie and L4L...I'll grab a cup of coffee to go from the NC.

Chip, chip, chip...it's back to work

Have a great day everyone wave


To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1146850
04/01/18 10:09 PM
04/01/18 10:09 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 77,826
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 77,826
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, I know all about the wind too! It's brutal sometimes! I hope you are successful in wherever you decide to go head hunting!

soot, This week is half of what last week was! I still have longer days but only one 10pm and that is tomorrow. It was because it was Spring Break here and people went on vacation. Otherwise, it is very manageable! I love my job!

Have a happy day all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1146879
04/01/18 11:30 PM
04/01/18 11:30 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Joe, you might not want to work on your tan in all that wind. lol Have fun at the creek if you decide to go. thumbsup

Soot, yes it's fantastic when it decides to work, less so when it doesn't. grin Hope work goes well and flies. It's back to work for me also. smile

That's great that you love your job, Ana. thumbsup

It's Sunday night here, and I'm off to sleep. I have to go back to work tomorrow. I was able to arrange one more 3 day weekend this week. woot It's going to be the last one for a while, as there are resets coming up for the next few weeks afterward. I can't rearrange the days on those, as they're group activities, and I have to schedule my other projects around them. That just means I'll have to appreciate this 3 day weekend that much more. grin

Okay, time to sleep. Have a great Monday, everyone. spring

Last edited by venus; 04/01/18 11:31 PM.

Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1146904
04/02/18 05:13 AM
04/02/18 05:13 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,001
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,001
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, soot, Ana, venus and everyone. Joe enjoy your day! Soot see you in the Garden. Ana glad to hear things are getting back to normal. Venus one more 3 day weekend fantastic! I woke up to snow falling again this morning! I'm hoping the 3 to 6 inches expected will melt quickly as it is suppose to be Spring!! Coffee and tea are ready.

spring Wishing everyone a Bright and Happy Day! spring


Gerry
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1146932
04/02/18 09:02 AM
04/02/18 09:02 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 11,502
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Adept Boomer
connie  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 11,502
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Lovely Monday. Our Easter get-together was Great, a good time was had by all. A meeting at the Eagles tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, BB Pancakes, and French Toast in the NC. chocobunny


Connie
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1146954
04/02/18 11:03 AM
04/02/18 11:03 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,209
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,209
Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood! I'm doing some cleaning and hoping to finalize taxes today. Get them printed, signed, and ready for mailing, though that might get pushed a day.

Washer repair guy should be here this afternoon happydance Very happy to hear that as he originally told me Thursday. wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1146958
04/02/18 11:21 AM
04/02/18 11:21 AM
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,175
Scotland
MsMercury Offline
Adept Boomer
MsMercury  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,175
Scotland
Hello Boomers, wishing all of you a great day! hearts

Mary wavegirl


"It's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts." puppy

I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'! grin
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1146963
04/02/18 11:32 AM
04/02/18 11:32 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,209
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,209
Alabama
Miss Mary, how good to see you in the diner. How has your day been?


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1146964
04/02/18 11:38 AM
04/02/18 11:38 AM
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,175
Scotland
MsMercury Offline
Adept Boomer
MsMercury  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,175
Scotland
Hi L4L, thank you! hearts I'm sad I can't be hear more often, health problems taking over, though not too bad today.At least I can sit up for a bit! Hope all's well with you!


"It's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts." puppy

I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'! grin
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1146975
04/02/18 01:19 PM
04/02/18 01:19 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,209
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,209
Alabama
I'm glad today is a better day for you!

How's Diana and the rest of the family?

We are doing ok...life is always gonna toss problems at ya, but on the whole we are fine.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday's [Re: looney4labs] #1147003
04/02/18 05:45 PM
04/02/18 05:45 PM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer
Drmojo  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Hi ya Boomers wave

Been a while since I've been here~
How is everyone?? I'm doing OK, still going to
dialysis no chance of a transplant cause of my heart~
we having a cold spring
have a good day everybody~Karen puppy


"Horses are smart"

"You never heard of a Horse going broke"
betting on Humans~ Will Rogers~
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147005
04/02/18 05:59 PM
04/02/18 05:59 PM
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,175
Scotland
MsMercury Offline
Adept Boomer
MsMercury  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,175
Scotland
Glad all's okay with you L4L. Diana has her good days and bad days (she was diagnosed with fibromyalgia couple of years ago on top of arthritis) but she tries not to let it get her down. I really miss our days out and about. sad Rest of the family are well.

Karen, condolences on the loss of your friend hearts Sorry you can't have the transplant. We have had a long cold winter, it's been snowing heavily today. I'm so ready for some sun and heat!

Night all, off to bed now!

Mary hearts wavegirl


"It's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts." puppy

I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'! grin
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147019
04/02/18 08:08 PM
04/02/18 08:08 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 77,826
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 77,826
In the Naughty Corner
How wonderful to see some of the old regular diners pop in here! Makes my heart happy to see you Karen and Mary! Wishing you both good health! hearts

I'm having a bit of a bad day. A couple of my dogs had a freak accident today and the owner had to come home from work. It was not preventable and nothing I did, but I feel horrible. Can I get some positive thoughts that there won't be any lingering affects please and thank you?


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday's [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1147021
04/02/18 09:12 PM
04/02/18 09:12 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,779
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,779
Calera, Oklahoma
Greetings to all our diner gang this evening. wave2


Mary it's so good to see you in the diner. Hugs and prayers that your health improves soon. kissy

Likewise to you Karen. I'm glad you could drop in to see us. Sending prayers and positive thoughts for your health and I'm so sorry for your loss. hearts

Ana I'm sorry to hear about the dogs accident. Positive thoughts for the dogs, and big hugs for you tonight. hearts


joe wave

Last edited by gymcandy1; 04/02/18 09:12 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147033
04/02/18 10:11 PM
04/02/18 10:11 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 30,339
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 30,339
Usually in an Alabama Tree
Hi Mary and Karen laugh It's great to see you! The great circle of life is not always kind to us.

Positive thoughts and prayers winging there way to you Ana

Good night all

sleep


To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147046
04/03/18 12:21 AM
04/03/18 12:21 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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