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T*G*I*F #1148055
04/12/18 08:32 PM
04/12/18 08:32 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,775
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,775
Calera, Oklahoma
There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.

~Phyllis Diller~
````````````````


How do you know a woman doesn’t value honesty? When she asks you, “How do I look, darling?

```````

”Man: Darling, I just ordered our groceries online.

Wife: Really?! You’ve just sent me a Whatsapp saying I should do the shopping.

Man: Well, that’s what I said.

`````

I’m not saying my wife’s cooking is bad…..

But a few very large bio-weapons manufacturers offered a very nice price for her recipes.

``````

I felt incomplete until I married you.

Now I’m finished.

````````

Husband: Shall we make a nice weekend for each other, honey?”

Wife: “Oh, that would be lovely, Georgie!”

Husband: “Fantastic! Well, see you Monday.”

`````````

Marriage is an institution.
Once you say I DO you are committed.

```````````

Q. What do bacon and wives have in common?

A. They both look, smell and taste fantastic; they both also kill you slowly.

`````````

A real man always accompanies his wife to the train station when she leaves. What other way to make sure she’s actually gone?

````````

Q. Why do men so often die before their wives do?

Because they want to

``````````

Woman says to her fiancé: “When we’re married, we’ll have three kids. A brown-haired girl and two blonde boys.
-
Fiancé: “How can you tell with such precision?”
-
Woman: "Because I told my parents I’ll finally pick up the kids from them once we’re married.“

````````

Husband takes his wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor dancing like a king –moonwalking, break dancing, head spins, the works. The wife turns to her husband and sighs: "You see that man? 25 years ago he asked me to marry him and I said no."

Husband says: "Yep, it looks like he’s still celebrating!!"

```````````

Why does psychoanalysis work quicker with men than with women? Because when it's time to return to one’s childhood, men don't have as far to go.

```````

A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the road, Roger, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her … Why can’t you do the same?”

“Are you mad? I barely know the woman!”

``````````

Why is it called the PMS?

Because the Mad Cow Disease was taken.

``````````

I was looking for that thing that peels potatoes, apples and carrots.

I’ve asked my kids if they had any idea. Apparently she left 2 days ago.

``````

1. You should have a woman who works at home, who cooks, keeps things tidy and has a job.

2. You should have a woman who can make you smile and laugh.

3. You should have a woman you can trust, a woman who never lies to you.

4. You should have a woman who is good in bed and enjoys spending time with you.

5. And you should always, always keep these four women from ever meeting each other.

`````````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


Well that concludes a great week of marriage bashing jokes. hamster


I'm kidding there's more to come. thumbsup


We had a great day here to be alive and just enjoy it. joy


The only damper on the whole day was the disgusting, gusty wind. yes


It actually felt good before it got to gale force. slapforehead


I took the mutt to the park, and then I mowed the lawn. No wait, it was the other way around. I took the mutt to the park, and then the lawn mowed me. woot


Anyway I slept just a little bit better last night. I hope that tonight's sleep will be like Sunday morning in church. tired


Have a happy day everyone.


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 04/12/18 08:38 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1148058
04/12/18 09:05 PM
04/12/18 09:05 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 77,816
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 77,816
In the Naughty Corner
lol Joe! I'd be happy if anything was green here. No lawn mowing here, that's for sure!

Happy Friday all! I am thrilled for the weekend to get here!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1148063
04/12/18 10:01 PM
04/12/18 10:01 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 30,322
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 30,322
Usually in an Alabama Tree
Good morning Joe and Ana laugh

Yes the lawn will get me when I get back...it's dark now so good excuse that I can't mow.

Good morning Gerry Connie Venus and everyone...welcome to TGIF

woot the weekend's eve

Oh yeah joy

One more early rise and then it's back to a normal schedule after this weekend.

Have a wonderful day everyone

flowers L4L

wave


To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1148066
04/12/18 10:10 PM
04/12/18 10:10 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 77,816
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 77,816
In the Naughty Corner
It feels so good when a busy stretch is over soot!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1148071
04/12/18 11:06 PM
04/12/18 11:06 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hope you sleep especially well tonight, Joe.

Hope it warms up for you soon, Ana. The cold weather has lasted here far longer than it should have, and then today, it suddenly decided it wanted to be spring. lol Hopefully something similar will happen for you soon!

Glad things will be back to normal for you soon, soot! happydance

It's Thursday night, and I'm off to sleep. Today's reset went surprisingly quickly. Not that I'm complaining. grin I have one more 5 am wake up this week (more to come next week), and I'm hoping this reset goes just as smoothly. Also, unlike the past two days, I don't have any other stores to go to afterward, so once the reset is finished, I will be done for the day. thumbsup

As usual, I'm late for bed, so I'm off now. Have a great Friday, everyone. spring


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1148075
04/12/18 11:22 PM
04/12/18 11:22 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 77,816
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 77,816
In the Naughty Corner
Today was spring here too, venus!! It was heavenly! Even all my clients were excited and playful. Tomorrow it will all come crashing down again and snow by Sunday.
Hope you can have another quick day! Fridays are my late start day and I am happy about that!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1148077
04/13/18 01:11 AM
04/13/18 01:11 AM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer
Drmojo  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Hi Boomers wave2

Hi ya Joe, Ana, Soot & Venus wave wave wave
hope ya all have a wonderful day!!!
Just got done eating a great birthday dinner for mom.
She's 83 today woot
One more dialysis time then I get 2 days off yay

Have a great weekend everyone~Karen hug kitty


"Horses are smart"

"You never heard of a Horse going broke"
betting on Humans~ Will Rogers~
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1148083
04/13/18 04:22 AM
04/13/18 04:22 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 23,993
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 23,993
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, soot. venus, Karen and everyone. Joe have a great friday. Ana happy Friday. Soot that's nice you are back to a normal schedule next week! Venus hope the reset goes quickly so you get the rest of the day off. Karen Happy Birthday to your Mom!
Coffee and tea are ready. spring Wishing you all a Wonderful Friday! spring


Gerry
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1148091
04/13/18 07:14 AM
04/13/18 07:14 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 11,496
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Adept Boomer
connie  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 11,496
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Super TGIF. Karen, birthday to your mom. Dinner at Rookie's tonight, then Karaoke at the VFW. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC. spring


Connie
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1148120
04/13/18 11:36 AM
04/13/18 11:36 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,821
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,821
San Diego, CA
Happy Friday the 13th to all! Lucky day for some. Enjoy.

I'm on a Tumbleweed hunt since yesterday. IF I pull the little tumbleweed seedlings when they sprout, there will be no reseeding so I'm hitting my empty back lot (60 by 90 feet) twice daily and pulling all the little guys out. Very stickery stuff. Gotta remember to wear gloves today.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1148137
04/13/18 02:33 PM
04/13/18 02:33 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 30,322
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 30,322
Usually in an Alabama Tree
Hey Ana Venus Karen Gerry Connie SortaB and L4L

Enjoy the quiet L4L hearts

Enjoy the two days off Karen thumbsup

I had my last 5am wake up Venus...but will probably still wake up early lol

I'll have a tea and Danish to go Connie and Gerry

Tumbleweed away Sorta

I'm off on a trip y'all ... take care wave

L4L hearts


To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
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