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Hump Day's #1160163
08/14/18 07:20 PM
08/14/18 07:20 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,876
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,876
Calera, Oklahoma
We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.

~W. H. Auden~
`````````````


A regular client asked me to make a non-standard modification to their website to display one of their client’s advertisements. It involved hacky code changes to the logic, so I couldn’t provide an accurate quote and said it has to be an hourly rate.

Me: I think it will only take me about an hour, but it could be as many as three.

Client: Well I have already quoted the advertiser 3 hours so you can do this at a quoted amount of 2 hours, and if it takes longer, well that’s ok because you make heaps of money off us and can make it up in future jobs.

Actually, I make very little money from their business because they argue every invoice I send.

Me: …OK, fine I will quote it at 2 hours.

Client: OK, so if it takes less than 2 hours, you will be honest and tell me, and charge the lower amount?

Clearly, this client does not understand the concept of a quote.

``````

Client:"I understand you need to make a living but I don’t think you need to make THAT much"

``````

I had a regular client who was a family friend and my husband’s employer. I always got paid, although sometimes it took a reminder. That’s until my last job for them; the major difference was my husband had stopped working for the client.

They didn’t pay. I contacted them several times and was told every time:

Client: I’ve written a cheque, just come by the house and pick it up.

Me: I provided you a bank transfer, which is how you’ve paid me before. Please just use that.

No response to that. All the while this woman is posting pics of stuff on Facebook that she bought.

I just read in local paper they were investigated for tax evasion and owe £500,000 to the government. Turns out their cars were repossessed. I think I’m never getting that invoice paid!

````````

Client: Your former client reached out to me and said you are new to the area.

After an hour conversation about web designs, marketing campaigns, designs, branding, etc:

Client: So when can you start?

Me: After you approve of a cost estimate, I am thinking in about a week or two we can start building your marketing/design campaign together.

Client: Wait…What? This wouldn’t be free? I thought you wanted portfolio work.

Me: No.

Client: Well then! I will take my business elsewhere.

Me: ….

`````````

I’m a 22-year-old woman and I did some on-site freelance design work for a 70-something man.

Client: (at my office door) What’s the little girl working on?

Me: I’m not a little girl.

Client: You’re not?

Me: No.

He didn’t seem to take that first no seriously though because he called me a little girl again the next day.

Me: I’m still not a little girl.

Client: You’re not?

Me: No.

Client: Is that an offensive thing to be called?

Me: Yes, I’m a college educated professional.

Client: Well, what can I call you?

Me: My name. Miss. Basically anything other than “little girl.”

Client: That’s cute.

````````

I work as a hair stylist, this was a conversation with a client today. He had mentioned previously that his 60th birthday was coming up.

Client: You look like you’re twelve. My nine-year-old granddaughter is your size.

Me: Oh really? I get told I look young a lot.

Client: Are you raising your son alone?

Me: (taken aback) Yes, I am.

Client: Well I would marry you.

Me: :|

```````

While designing an e-shop, I had to create an “add to wishlist” icon. I used a placeholder one to help mock-up the site. It was a shopping bag with a heart in the corner.

Client: No hearts. This product is for men.

Right – I forgot that men only use “like” icons if they’re explosions that have beards

`````

First (and last) meeting with a prospective client.

Client: You don’t have any female employees, do you?

Me: …Yes, we do.

Client: Well don’t hire any more! Women are shady and not to be trusted. That’s why I only work with men.

Me: Right…

Surprise twist: the client was a woman!

``````

Client: Can you send me the PMS colors for my logo?

Me: Sure thing!

Client: WHEW! Hahaha I thought for a second you might think I was talking about “pre-menstruation” colors — which no guy in his right mind would ask about, am I right?

Me: …Nope, didn’t think that at all.

Client: Ha! Ha!

Me: …

``````

I developed a social media campaign for a client, and he offered me a full time PR and business development position at his company.

After I signed the papers to on-board to the company, he decided that was an appropriate moment to PROFESS HIS LOVE FOR ME.

We’d only met in person three times. Also:

Me: I’m married.

Client: Marriages end!

I left when he tried to kiss me, and was basically in shock.

A few days later he sent me an email as if nothing had happened.

Client: The new campaign should be up and running next week. Did you finish designing those business cards? Anyway, come in on Monday and I’ll introduce you to everyone. I just wanted to let you know that I consider you an asset to our organization and everything else is purely professional. [emphasis added].

Needless to say, I backed out of the position. Also, I remain happily married.

``````

I was approached by a porn star that wanted me to re-do her site. She agreed to my price and I fulfilled the job. She paid and that was that.

A few weeks go by and I’m contacted by her husband.

Client: I’d like you to update the site again. As payment, you can have sex with my wife once a week.

`````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


Is this Wednesday or the day before tomorrow? rolleyes


I can only pray it's a nice as Tuesday was. I woke to rain again, and it rained till just about 2:00....but not exactly. thumbsup


It was so cool it even dropped below 70 degrees at one point. penguin


Would have been a great day to be out head hunting, except for the rain. razz


I keep fearing I'll wake up at any moment and it'll be August 1st again, and 108 degrees. It was all a dream. scared


You know what season I really like the best? I'll give you a hint. It has the kind of weather I always fall for. snicker


Unfortunately around here Fall is like late Summer, and Winter is Fall. A cold Fall. grin


Have a happy day everyone.


joe


Last edited by gymcandy1; 08/14/18 08:50 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Hump Day's [Re: gymcandy1] #1160175
08/14/18 09:09 PM
08/14/18 09:09 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 78,285
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online happy
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Happy
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 78,285
In the Naughty Corner
Glad you got cool weather still, Joe! Let me know when to stop doing the rain dance for you. I'm getting exhausted! rotfl

Have an awesome day all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Hump Day's [Re: gymcandy1] #1160180
08/14/18 09:47 PM
08/14/18 09:47 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 125
Thrudvanger
Thorsgoats Offline
Settled Boomer
Thorsgoats  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 125
Thrudvanger
I just got done playing more of Unavowed. I still have more to go. Looking forward to it. I have to work tomorrow, so I probably won't be playing any then. When I'm finished with Unavowed, I'm looking forward to playing The Walking Dead Final Season.


"Is there anybody there? Am I alone . . . in this place? Can you see me? Can you hear me? SHOW me you are here!"
Re: Hump Day's [Re: Thorsgoats] #1160184
08/14/18 09:53 PM
08/14/18 09:53 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,876
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,876
Calera, Oklahoma
Keep Dancing Ana. wink lol

I really appreciate it. kissy

Hey Thorsgoats. Glad you're enjoying your games. I've been doing a lot of Bioshock. yes


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Hump Day's [Re: gymcandy1] #1160196
08/14/18 11:24 PM
08/14/18 11:24 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Glad you're getting some cooler weather, Joe! woot

Ana, hope you get some rest in between all that dancing. lol

Thorsgoats, The Walking Dead is really good so far. It does have one frustrating fight sequence (I had to look up a strategy on YouTube, as my poor Clem kept dying over and over again), but other than that, it was the best I've seen of the series since Season 1. Hope you enjoy it just as much when you get to it. thumbsup

It's Tuesday night, and I'm off to sleep. I have another 4 store day to look forward to tomorrow. woozy State of Mind is also coming out, and I have that ready to download. rah I have some other games to get to first, though, so other than a test to see how it runs, it's going to have to wait. wink

Hope everyone has a great Wednesday. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Hump Day's [Re: gymcandy1] #1160213
08/15/18 04:18 AM
08/15/18 04:18 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,160
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,160
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, Thorsgoats, venus and everyone. Coffee and tea are ready. Another 90+ degree day for us today along with high humidity. We need some cooling rain!
wave Enjoy a Happy Day everyone! wave


Gerry
Re: Hump Day's [Re: gymcandy1] #1160225
08/15/18 06:42 AM
08/15/18 06:42 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 11,815
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Adept Boomer
connie  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 11,815
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Great Hump Day. Queen of Hearts at the Eagles tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Sausage, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Hump Day's [Re: gymcandy1] #1160226
08/15/18 06:54 AM
08/15/18 06:54 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 821
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Taintedfury Offline
Settled Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 821
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Hiya Joe sherlock , Ana praise , Venus catrub , Connie summer , Kaki's Sister kitty & Thorgoats dragon - Hope you all are getting your rain or sun which ever way you want...been pouring here down under while supermarket's want stop raising their prices on food and Petrol stations going berserk with fuel prices..

Crazy day Hubby & I had with shopping car so it's good to get a laugh from Joe rotfl

Gotta go Tv time with Hubby hug take care.. wavegirl

Re: Hump Day's [Re: gymcandy1] #1160306
08/15/18 09:12 PM
08/15/18 09:12 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 30,809
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Online content
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Online Content
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 30,809
Usually in an Alabama Tree
Hey Joe Ana Venus Gerry Connie TaintedFury ThorsGoat laugh

I survived the day and now am looking for my bed lol

TaintedFury...I always get a laugh and many grins/smiles at the diner with Joe

Sleep well everyone

sleep


To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Re: Hump Day's [Re: gymcandy1] #1160312
08/15/18 10:00 PM
08/15/18 10:00 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 78,285
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online happy
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Happy
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 78,285
In the Naughty Corner
Nighty night...


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Hump Day's [Re: gymcandy1] #1160318
08/15/18 10:29 PM
08/15/18 10:29 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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