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Monday Joe's #1170237
11/25/18 09:19 PM
11/25/18 09:19 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,520
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,520
Calera, Oklahoma
In those days the best painkiller was ice; it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
-
~George Burns~
``````````````


Best Dad Jokes



“Did you get a new haircut dad?” “No, I had them all cut, son.”

````

Son: "Is this insecticide good for mosquitos?"

Dad: "Not at all, it kills them!"

````

“I’ll call you later!”
-
“Please don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”

````

“Are you alright dad?”'

“Actually, technically, I’m half left and half right.”

````

"Hey dad how was your weekend?" - "Light, dark, light, dark, Monday."

````

Dad to his son: "I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and dumb.

````

"Daughter to her dad: "What is it?"
-
Dad: “It” is a pronoun.

````

You: “So, dad, I was thinking…”

Dad: “Ohhhhh and I wondered what that high-pitched grinding sound was!”

````

Dad: Would you like to hear a construction joke?

[Yes]

Dad: Well I’m still working on it.

````

"We drove past a city cemetery and my dad remarked, “Do you know why I can’t be buried here, boy?”

“Why?”

“Because I’m still alive.”

````

Dad: I have a very secure job. There’s nobody else who would want it.

````

Dad, I’m hungry!”

“Oh hello Hungry, I’m Dad!”

“But I’m really hungry!”

“And I’m really Dad.”

````

Daughter: “How do I look, daddy?!”

Dad: “With your eyes, sweetheart.”

````

Dad, I’m cold!

Go to the corner, son, there’s 90 degrees.

````

When somebody asks my dad how he feels, he always replies, „With my hands.“

````

Stop whining, you will never be the man your mother is.

````

Father: Do you know the joke from the 3rd floor?
-
Son: “No,”
-
Father: Me neither, I was on the 2nd floor at the time.

````

Good morning everyboomie. hamster


Even for a Monday. taz


I woke up Sunday morning.


That was the high light. snicker


We were about 20 degrees colder than Saturday. Still not bad though. It's just that the wind was blowing 25mph. eek


Poor Missy just kind of tumbled along beside me when we went out walking. lol


The leaves drive her crazy. She tries to dodge every one of them. puppy


She barks at them, "LEAF ME ALONE!!" razz


Have a happy day everyone. wink


joe


Last edited by gymcandy1; 11/25/18 09:21 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Monday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1170246
11/25/18 10:53 PM
11/25/18 10:53 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 76,818
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 76,818
In the Naughty Corner
Quick fly-by. We are in a blizzard and we have lost power on and off the last hour. My neighbors tree just fell on his house and truck from the weight of the snow. Have a happy day all!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1170249
11/25/18 11:33 PM
11/25/18 11:33 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 29,100
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 29,100
Usually in an Alabama Tree
Joe, we had a pup who loved to chase blowing leaves...he was a cutie pie! I see the weather is turning chilly for you...maybe a warm period will come again think

Oh my goodness Ana...stay warm and out from under trees!!!!! eek

Gerry, can I get a tall dark roast please? laugh

Happy Moanday Monday everyone...it's back to work.

Catch you later Connie, Venus and SortaB

Hope all is going well for your dad TaintedFury wave2



To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Re: Monday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1170256
11/26/18 02:25 AM
11/26/18 02:25 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,371
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
venus  Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,371
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Glad Missy had fun chasing leaves, Joe. puppy

Ana, that's terrible, I hope your neighbor and his house are okay! eek Hope you're staying safe in the blizzard! shiver

Soot, well, Broadway singers have to sing laying down all the time, depending on the scenes they're acting out. grin Sure, I could do it, but it's not my preference. lol Sorry you have to go back to work. Hope it goes well and/or flies by.

It's Sunday night here. Tomorrow, Thorsgoats and I are meeting my mom for lunch and a movie. thumbsup We're going to see Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindlewald.

Have a great Monday, everyone. fall


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Monday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1170259
11/26/18 06:05 AM
11/26/18 06:05 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 23,471
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 23,471
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, soot, venus, and everyone. Joe sounds like you and the pups had a fun time! Ana how scary! I hope your power stabilizes and your neighbor's family is okay! Soot always have that tall dark roast ready for you! Enjoy! Venus enjoy your lunch and movie with your mom today. Coffee and tea are ready.
happydance12 Wishing everyone a Happy Monday! happydance12


Gerry
Re: Monday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1170274
11/26/18 08:26 AM
11/26/18 08:26 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 10,826
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Adept Boomer
connie  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 10,826
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Super Monday. Ana, stay safe. Working the kitchen for Bingo at the Eagles today. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC. happydance12


Connie
Re: Monday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1170299
11/26/18 11:52 AM
11/26/18 11:52 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 47,944
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 47,944
Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

Hope you all have a wonderful day!

Ana, try to stay warm. We will be thinking of you.

Hugs all around.

Joe, loved the jokes this morning "light, dark, light, dark" rotfl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1170358
11/27/18 12:33 AM
11/27/18 12:33 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,371
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
venus  Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,371
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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