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Tuesday Joe's #1171461
12/10/18 09:31 PM
12/10/18 09:31 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,520
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,520
Calera, Oklahoma
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did – in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.
-
~Bob Monkhouse~
```````````````


Dog Jokes


Best first:

Q: Who is Dracula’s best friend?

A: His bloodhound.

````
What kind of dog eats with his ears?
-
They all do. I haven’t seen a single dog remove their ears before tucking in.

````
What happens when you cross a dog and a cheetah?
-
You get a dog who chases after cars a lot – and actually catches them.

````
What an amazing, clever dog we have, darling.
-
He brings in the newspaper every day, and we’ve never even subscribed to any!

````
What do you call a sleeping Rottweiler?
-
Anything you like, just very quietly.

````
What is the question a flea often has to ask itself?
-
Should I walk or take a dog?

````
When is a mom flea happy?
-
When her whole family has gone to the dogs.

````
“Life is like a dogsled team.

If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

” – Lewis Grizzard”

````
What do you mean, my dog was chasing a guy on a bike?
-
My dog can't even ride a bike!

````
What has 4,000 eyes and 8,000 legs?
-
Two thousand dogs.

````
What do you do when you find a 250 pound dog sleeping on your bed?
-
Quietly go sleep on the sofa.

````
What do you do when you find a 250 pound dog eating from your plate?

Seek medical help.

You’ve been seeing too many 250 pound dogs recently.

````
What is the difference between a dog and a mailbox?

[Don’t know]

OK, in that case I think I’ll mail that letter myself, thank you.

````
What do you do when you see a rabid dog?
-
That depends on whether the dog has seen you, too.

````
“I just found out why dogs drink out of the toilet.
-
My mother said it's because the water is a lot colder in there.
-
I'm like, How does my mother know that?”

- Wendy Liebman

````
Would you rather have a 250 pound dog chase you or a lion?
-
Um… I’d rather he chased the lion.

````
How do you tell the difference between a labrador and a marine biologist?
-
The one wags a tale, the other tags a whale.

````
What happens when you cross a rooster, a Cocker Spaniel and a Poodle?
-
You get a Cockerpoodledoo.

````
What should you do when your dog suddenly goes Squaawk?
-
Pat him on the head. He’s learning a new language.

````
A dog sits in a bar, sipping a bourbon.
-
A customer walks up to him and says, “It’s not often that I see a dog drinking bourbon here!”
The dog sniffs, “Yeah, hardly a surprise at these prices.”

````
Why do men chase after women they don’t intend to marry?
-
Well why do dogs chase after cars they don’t intend to drive?

````
A dog thinks, “Wow, the humans are bringing me food every day, they have me live in a nice house away from the cold, they take care of me… They must be gods…”
-
The cat thinks, “Wow, the humans are bringing me food every day, they have me live in a nice house away from the cold, they take care of me… I must be God!”

````
Why do dogs lick their butts?
-
Because nobody will do it for them.

````
What do you do when you see a dog eating your dictionary?
-
Take the words out of his mouth.

````
I’m considering removing my dog’s tail.
-
My mother in law comes next weekend and I intend to get rid of anything that would give her the impression that she is welcome.

````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


Boy howdy spellcheck really does not like that word 'Cockerpoodledoo' for some reason. snicker


What do they know anyway? razz


We had a great day down here.Got in the mid 50s yahoo! happydance12


Tuesday's to be back in the 60s. penguin Ooooo Ahhhhh!


Not sure what I'll do. We have 100% rain chances on Thursday, and I can't decide if I want to run out to the sod farm Tuesday, or wait till after the rain. eek12


I'm also waiting for a chance to go shoot my guns. Tuesday might be a great day for that. happydance


Any suggestions? grin


Have a happy day everyone. thumbsup


joe



Last edited by gymcandy1; 12/10/18 09:33 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1171467
12/11/18 12:32 AM
12/11/18 12:32 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 76,818
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 76,818
In the Naughty Corner
lol Joe! I think you test our censors all the time! rotfl I hope you can get out!

Have a happy day all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1171470
12/11/18 12:45 AM
12/11/18 12:45 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,371
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
venus  Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,371
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
What's up with your spellcheck anyway, Joe? lol Hope you're able to get out and do the things you want to do.

Have a great day, Ana. Hope you feel better!

It's Monday night, and I'm off to sleep. More work awaits me tomorrow. woozy

Have a great Tuesday, everyone. tree


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Tuesday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1171472
12/11/18 02:08 AM
12/11/18 02:08 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 4,082
marietta,georgia
family Offline
Addicted Boomer
family  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 4,082
marietta,georgia
watching tv.

Re: Tuesday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1171477
12/11/18 05:13 AM
12/11/18 05:13 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 23,471
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 23,471
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, venus and everyone. Joe I say go for the sod farm today. Adventure awaits! Ana hope you are feeling better today. How about a soothing cup of hot tea with lemon and honey to soothe your throat. Venus don't work to hard. Coffee and tea are ready.
tree Wishing all Boomers a Happy Day! tree


Gerry
Re: Tuesday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1171480
12/11/18 08:19 AM
12/11/18 08:19 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 10,826
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Adept Boomer
connie  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 10,826
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Super Tuesday. Ana, hope you get your voice back soonest. Having a friend over for lunch and Netflix. We are watching Christmas movies. santadance Dinner and Karaoke tonight at 8-8 Panda. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC. tree


Connie
Re: Tuesday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1171483
12/11/18 09:25 AM
12/11/18 09:25 AM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,330
Switzerland
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer
Gimli  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,330
Switzerland
Hello my gb friends, it's good to be back!

Thank you for dusting off my seat Ana. That must have been a thick layer of dust! Looney, good to see you too. Thank you, life treated me fairly kind. I have lots of success in Asia with my ceramics and are there (Japan, Korea, Taiwan and Singapore) 3-4 times a year. Wonderful food too - yummy. Hi connie and venus and family and all.

If there still is the naughty corner somewhere (couldn't find it yet because of all the dust in the air from my seat - cough cough) I will put a cake on the table later in the day...


"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)
Re: Tuesday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1171486
12/11/18 10:53 AM
12/11/18 10:53 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 47,944
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 47,944
Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

We survived the night. Dogs were restless for a bit, but we finally got everyone sorted. Sky-buddy cuddled with me all night. He pinned down the covers, but he is a big ole heating pad so I stayed warm enough.

Supposed to make it to the 50's this afternoon, so I'll take the babies to the park for a walk then.

Soot made it to CA.....he had a 29 minute connection so we were a bit worried. I figure there was some Divine intervention there.

Gimli, I think the Naughty Corner has been lonely. If you pop a cake over there, though, I bet it will have plenty of company! So good to hear your ceramics business is doing well. Do you enjoy the traveling?

wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1171488
12/11/18 11:31 AM
12/11/18 11:31 AM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,330
Switzerland
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer
Gimli  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,330
Switzerland
Ana or whoever moved my post to today: thank you ;-)

Looney: you know I have fear of flying, so the travelling isn't the best part of my Asian ceramics adventures. Dr. Temesta makes it a bit less stressful though... (I hope this is not counted as ad, please delete if it is...)

Ana, are you feeling better today?

All right, there's a freshly baked BANANA CAAAAAKE in the NC. Is Gym-Jenny still here? She was always the first in the NC... Have a wonderful day everybody.


"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)
Re: Tuesday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1171490
12/11/18 12:12 PM
12/11/18 12:12 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 47,944
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 47,944
Alabama
Banana Cake! Running to grab a piece before it's all gone. I'll put a fresh pot of hot chocolate there to keep it company. wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1171525
12/12/18 12:16 AM
12/12/18 12:16 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,371
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
venus  Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,371
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep12


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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