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T*G*I*F #1173634
01/03/19 08:52 PM
01/03/19 08:52 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

~Lily Tomlin~
`````````````


Warning - Women's Body Parts Move

Open letter from Ms Peggy Legg


This is an explanation to those friends and family who have experienced mysterious switches of their body parts. This effect is especially noticeable in January.

You may have read of the scare story about the man whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on. While the kidney story was an urban myth, my story is true - it occurs to me practically every day.Will and Guy's Humour - Warning for Women

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs.

The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years? Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose. Will and Guy's Humour - Women's body parts move

Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My butt was next.

I know it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear end (although badly attached at least three inches lower than my original) to the thighs they stuck me with earlier.

Now, my rear end complimented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.

It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched.

One morning I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush.

This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced one section at a time. How clever and fiendish.

Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to reap, unnoticed, something like maturity.

NO, I was being attacked repeatedly and without warning. In despair I gave up my T-shirts. What could they do to me next? My poor neck disappeared more quickly than the Thanksgiving turkey it now resembled.

That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on the medical profession by myself. Will and Guy's Humour - Warning for Women move your parts

Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee. That really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using. You KNOW where they are getting those replacement part, don't you?

The next time you suspect someone has had a face ' lifted' , look again. Was it lifted from you? I think I finally found my thighs...and I hope Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!

This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in every town every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS women's body parts move.

Yours alarmed

Peggy Legg

````

To find out why we issue this warning, read further:Women's Body Parts Move


Do you know - this person has moved in without me knowing it and I believe she is here for life.
Please be careful. This person has found her way into my house and could also go to yours.

A very weird thing has happened. A strange old lady has moved into my house. I have no idea who she is, where she came from, or how she got in. I certainly did not invite her. All I know is that one day she wasn't there, and the next day she was.

She is a clever old lady and manages to keep out of sight for the most part, but whenever I pass a mirror, I catch a glimpse of her. And, whenever I look in the mirror to check my appearance, there she is hogging the whole thing, completely obliterating my gorgeous face and body. This is very rude! I have tried screaming at her, but she just screams back.

The least she could do is offer to pay part of the rent, but no. Every once in a while, I find a £5 note stuck in a coat pocket, or some loose change under a sofa cushion, but it is not nearly enough. I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I think she is stealing money from me. I go to the ATM and withdraw £100, and a few days later, it's all gone! I certainly don't spend money that fast, so I can only conclude the old lady is pilfering from me. You'd think she would spend some of that money to buy wrinkle cream. And money isn't the only thing I think she is stealing.

Food seems to disappear at an alarming rate-especially the good stuff like ice cream, biscuits, and sweets. She must have a real sweet tooth, but she'd better watch it, because she is really packing on the pounds. I suspect she realises this, and to make herself feel better, she is tampering with my scale to make me think I am putting on weight, too.

For an old lady, she is quite childish. She likes to play nasty games, like going into my wardrobes when I'm not home and altering my clothes so they don't fit. And she messes with my files and papers so I can't find anything. This is particularly annoying since I am extremely neat and organised.

She has found other imaginative ways to annoy me. She gets into my mail, newspapers, and magazines before I do and blurs the print so I can't read it. And she has done something really sinister to the volume controls on my TV, radio, and telephone. Now, all I hear are mumbles and whispers. She has done other things-like make my stairs steeper, my vacuum heavier and all the knob and taps harder to turn. She even made my bed higher so that getting into and out of it is a real challenge.Old woman takes over body

Lately, she has been fooling with my groceries before I put them away, applying glue to the lids, making it almost impossible for me to open the jars. She has taken the fun out of shopping for clothes. When I try something on, she stands in front of the dressing room mirror and monopolises it. She looks totally ridiculous in some of those outfits, plus, she keeps me from seeing how great they look on me.

Just when I thought she couldn't get any meaner, she proved me wrong. She came along when I went to get my picture taken for my driver's license, and just as the camera shutter clicked, she jumped in front of me!

I hope she never finds out where you live.

````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


We woke up here to heavy rainfall, and it stayed cold and rainy all day. razz


I didn't even go check my mail box today. yes


I'm fairly certain it's still there. wink


We are going to get back into the 50s Friday, and then back into the 60s finally this weekend. penguin


I'm itching to get back out to the sod farm, and we've had 2, maybe 3 flash floods since I went to the creek. happydance


Maybe this next week will give me the opportunities for some head hunting. yes


Have a happy day everyone. urock


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1173646
01/03/19 10:54 PM
01/03/19 10:54 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, sounds like the perfect conditions for head hunting! I can't wait to see what you'll find!

Another long day, but I get a break. I'll be bringing my favorite houseguest home with me for 4 days. I can't wait! Nugget will be so happy to have her boyfriend back!

Have a happy day all!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1173649
01/03/19 11:00 PM
01/03/19 11:00 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,658
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,658
Alabama
T.G.I.F. Joe happydance

I agree with Ana Joe, I think you're gonna have a great point hunting adventure this weekend.

I hope your long day goes quickly Ana

Last work day this week woot

Love those dark roast coffees Gerry laugh

hearts L4L

Have a great Friday everybody wave2


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1173658
01/04/19 12:13 AM
01/04/19 12:13 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
soot are you back home? Happy Friday!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1173662
01/04/19 12:45 AM
01/04/19 12:45 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Sounds like you're going to have a great time at the farm soon, Joe. woot

Have fun with your houseguest, Ana! Glad Nugget will be able to see her boyfriend again. happydance12

Glad it's your last work day this week, soot. Enjoy your Friday. happydance

Thanks, Gerry. I still miss kitty version Venus also. smile Each cat has their own separate thing/feeling that no other cat can replace or duplicate. I've been very lucky with all three of my cats. Hope you have a terrific Friday, and thanks for the hot chocolate. grin

It's Thursday night, and I'm off to sleep. I have to work tomorrow, but it should be a short, easy day. Then I have a voice lesson on Saturday. woot I'm not fully prepared/in practice, so I'm just going to have to wing it and do the best I can. lol I'm sure it will be fine, though.

Hope everyone has a terrific Friday. winter


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1173674
01/04/19 05:17 AM
01/04/19 05:17 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, soot, venus and everyone. Joe sounds like a head hunting trip is in order for this weekend! Ana sounds like you'll have a great weekend. Soot I always have that coffee ready for you! Venus you are right, every cat has its own unique personality. I still miss all my kitties too. Sweet Potato and Stretch have been gone for a few years now but they are still in my thoughts. Enjoy your easy work day!
Coffee, tea, and hot chocolate are ready. happydance12 Happy Friday Everyone! happydance12


Gerry
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1173683
01/04/19 07:13 AM
01/04/19 07:13 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 7,402
marietta,georgia
family Offline
BAAG Specialist
family  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 7,402
marietta,georgia
watching court show

Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1173689
01/04/19 07:34 AM
01/04/19 07:34 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Super TGIF. Dinner and Karaoke at Mickey V's tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, lab Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon and French Toast in the NC.


Connie
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1173691
01/04/19 09:07 AM
01/04/19 09:07 AM
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,378
Scotland
MsMercury Offline
Adept Boomer
MsMercury  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,378
Scotland
Hello Boomers, hope you are all well and having a great day!

Wow, can't believe Christmas and New Year are all over already! That was fast. Hope you all had a wonderful time. It was just hubby and myself for both this year, enjoyed it but part of me missed the usual biz of cooking and baking! We have hosted both for over 30 years, this was the first time it was just the two of us.

Things are going well, learning new skills every day and enjoying getting out and about thanks to my 'freedom chair'! lol Just one minor setback, the wound from my first surgery is not healing and has become infected. Doctor gave me antibiotics and arranged for the district nurse to come in to clean and dress it for me. Hopefully this will do the trick, if not I will be referred back to the surgeon to see what can be done.

Enjoy the rest of your day guys!

Mary hearts


"It's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts." puppy

I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'! grin
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1173704
01/04/19 11:30 AM
01/04/19 11:30 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

It's a beautiful day in CO. I'm providing "emotional support" for daughter's dogs while she is at work rotfl

Today is her last day. She was disappointed yesterday to find the doctor firmly recommending a second C-section. but of course she wants to do what is best for baby U2. She had really hoped to have this one naturally but nature is not cooperating with us. So baby day in Thursday.

Joe, happy hunting whenever you get to it.

Ana, enjoy your guest.

Soot, kissy

Venus, Hugs! Hope your lesson is wonderful

Gerry, wave

Family, enjoy your show

Connie, thanks for the hash browns

Mary, will be praying that infection heals quickly. Hugs to you


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1173786
01/05/19 01:53 AM
01/05/19 01:53 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Nighty night...


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1173789
01/05/19 02:57 AM
01/05/19 02:57 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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