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Sunday's Sip & Surf Diner #1175171
01/19/19 08:50 PM
01/19/19 08:50 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,490
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,490
Calera, Oklahoma
My wife said she wanted 
a “fairy-tale romance,” so I’ve locked her in a tower.

—@tonycowards-
``````````````


Hilary, a grandmother, overhears her 5-year-old granddaughter, Mo, playing "weddings."

As the little girl, Mo, marches the bride down the aisle, the marriage vows went something like this: 'You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may now kiss the bride.'

````

Wedding One-Liners


1 If you want your wife to listen and to pay undivided attention to every word you say, all you need to do is talk in your sleep.

2 Nicky: I'm a man of few words.
Mike: I'm married, too.

3 A wedding ring may not be as tight as a tourniquet, but it does an equally good job of stopping circulation.

4 If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way.

5 My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them.

````

Five Favourite Wedding Day Shorts

1 My wife really worships me, she puts burnt offerings in front of me every day.

2 Each year on his wedding anniversary Patrick goes down to City Hall in the hope that his marriage license has expired.

3 John: Have you ever seen one of those machines that can tell when someone is telling a lie?

Dave: Seen one? I married one.

4 Husband: Let's go out on the town tonight and have some fun.

Wife: Ok, but if you get home before me, remember to leave the front door open.

5 An insurance salesman was trying to persuade Sonia to buy a life insurance policy.

'Just imagine if your husband was to die tomorrow, Sonia' he said. 'What would you get?'

Oh, a Labrador dog, I think,' replied Sonia. 'They're so well-behaved.'

````

Kate, young single lady visits the local dating agency and explains, 'I'm looking for a husband. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?'

The dating receptionist needs to find out some details so she asks, ' What are your requirements, please?'

'Well, let me see.' Kate says, 'He needs to be fine looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hours, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.'

The receptionist listens politely and carefully and responds, 'I understand. You need a television.'

````

William's Curse

Prince William, now 60, goes to the Bishop to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for many years.

The Bishop says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'

William says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'

````

Mathematics of Marriage

1 Smart man + smart woman = romance
2 Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy
3 Dumb man + smart woman = affair
4 Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage
5 Smart boss + smart employee = profit
6 Smart boss + dumb employee = production
7 Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
8 Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

````

Three older ladies were discussing the problems of getting older. One said, 'Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, in front of the refrigerator, and can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich'.

The second lady chimed in, 'Yes, sometimes I find myself standing on the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.'

The third one responded, 'Well, I am glad I don't have that problem; knock on wood, 'as she rapped her knuckles on the table. She looked up and said, 'That must be the door, I'll get it!'

````

Some Psychology

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

````


More Maths of Marriage


They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it's true.

As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank.

Question: Why do women live longer than men?

Answer: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

````

True Marriage Story

Man forced to marry four wives in six months


A Saudi man is in hospital after his divorced parents forced him to marry four times within six months. The battle began when the father insisted the boy should marry a girl from his side of the family. The mother retaliated by ordering him to wed a girl from her side, reports Arab News quoting Al-Watan daily. But the father wasn't happy with the balance of power and insisted on a third wife from his side, to show who was boss.

The mother, not to be outdone, then demanded that her son include another wife from her side of the family. The son has now been admitted to a hospital for psychological treatment. He is refusing to see his parents or his wives.

````

Good morning everyboomie. yay


We are half way through the weekend, on our way to another strong beginning, but I'll leave that conversation for tomorrow's diner. thumbsup


When I went to bed last night they were giving us a 30% chance of rain, with a low temperature expectation of 28 or 30 degrees, so it would seem logical to maybe expect to see snow if indeed we did actually get rainfall, and yet when I went to bed that was not an expectation that I had. duh


Actually I just didn't expect that we would get any moisture of any kind, but when I woke up, I sat up in bed and looked out the window to see if the sun was shining, and I couldn't see the sky because this white stuff was covering my screen. shocked


We didn't get a lot of snow, just an inch or so.


It made for a great day of sitting inside and having some coffee, and gaming. happydance12


The sun finally did come out at 4:35.


Have a happy Sunday everyone. thumbsup


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Sunday's Sip & Surf Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1175175
01/19/19 09:34 PM
01/19/19 09:34 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 4,004
marietta,georgia
family Offline
Addicted Boomer
family  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 4,004
marietta,georgia
watching playoffs.

Re: Sunday's Sip & Surf Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1175190
01/20/19 01:15 AM
01/20/19 01:15 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,331
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
venus  Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,331
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Sounds like a great day, Joe. happydance12

Enjoy your day, family.

It's late Saturday night, and I'm off to sleep. More gaming and singing await me tomorrow. grin Plus, scheduling my work week for the coming week. crazy I have a feeling I won't be able to arrange a 3 day weekend this time, either. lol Oh, well, I'm sure there will be more in the future.

Have a terrific Sunday, everyone. winter


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Sunday's Sip & Surf Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1175191
01/20/19 01:40 AM
01/20/19 01:40 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 76,664
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 76,664
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, it does look pretty though doesn't it? We got about 7 inches. But it's -10 windchill out right now.

family, enjoy your games!

venus, how is Isis settling in?

Have a happy day all! I'll be seeing my brand new great nephew today. yay

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sunday's Sip & Surf Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1175196
01/20/19 04:53 AM
01/20/19 04:53 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 23,395
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 23,395
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, family, venus, soot, Ana, Taintedfury and everyone. Joe have a great day. Family enjoy the games. Venus how is Isis getting along with your other kitty? Soot a tall dark brew is ready for you. Ana enjoy your visit with your great nephew! Taintedfury how are you doing and how is your Mom?
Coffee, tea and hot chocolate are ready.
wave Wishing everyone a peaceful happy day! wave


Gerry
Re: Sunday's Sip & Surf Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1175207
01/20/19 10:54 AM
01/20/19 10:54 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 28,931
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 28,931
Usually in an Alabama Tree
Good morning Boomers! We had bad weather yesterday afternoon and are still without cable.. internet.. and phones. Thank goodness for cellular technology happydance the town next to us was hit by a tornado, so we are not complaining! So no NFL playoff games for us sad

Thanks Gerry...I'll need it this morning!

L4L hearts

Happy Sunday everyone wave2


To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Re: Sunday's Sip & Surf Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1175219
01/20/19 12:36 PM
01/20/19 12:36 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,331
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
venus  Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,331
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Ana, Isis is settling in very well. She already acts like she's been here forever. lol Have fun with your great nephew. woot

Gerry, the most I've let them do so far is sniff each other through the door. lol I want to wait a bit and let them get used to one another being present before I put them in the same room. They seem okay so far, but I know from experience with my other cats that it can be a whole different story when they are put together. lol Jupiter and kitty version Venus took a year. Jupiter and Saga never got along entirely; they always had to be supervised if they were in the room together. Even so, Saga seemed to miss him when he didn't come home. I'm hoping that Saga and Isis will take less time, but I'll just have to wait and see. smile Hope you're having a great day!

Sorry to hear that everything was knocked out, and you can't watch your game, soot. frown Hope everything comes back soon! In the meantime, hope you're able to find something fun to do.

Well, I was happily surprised that I was able to create a 3 day weekend for myself after all! happydance12 I'll be off tomorrow, though, rather than Friday. I arranged it this way since I have a voice lesson tomorrow, and I was able to get it pushed up to 10 am. thumbsup So it should make things easier all around. Wednesday and Thursday are going to be a bit crazy, though. lol

Okay, time to play some games!


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Sunday's Sip & Surf Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1175275
01/21/19 12:58 AM
01/21/19 12:58 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,331
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
venus  Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,331
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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