GAMEBOOMERS provides you with all the latest PC adventure computer games information, forum, walkthroughs, reviews and news.

GB Reviews

Latest & Upcoming Adventure Games

GB Annual Game Lists

GB Interviews

BAAGS

GB @ acebook

About Us

Walkthroughs

free games galore

Game Publishers & Developers

World of Adventure

Patches

GB @ witter

GameBoomers Store

Print Thread
T*G*I*F #1175658
01/24/19 09:09 PM
01/24/19 09:09 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
When I was a child my father attacked me with cameras; I still have flashbacks.

—Stewart Francis~
`````````````````


What's Important When Retired?


Jackie, an elderly lady was standing at the rail of the cruise ship holding her hat so that it wouldn't blow away in the wind.

Edward, a gentleman approaches her and says, 'Pardon me, madam, I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this wind?'

'Yes, I know,' replies Jackie firmly, 'But I need my hands to hold onto my hat.'

'But madam,' remarks Edward, 'you must know that your derriere is exposed.'

Jackie looks directly at Edward, after a quick glance down and retorts, 'Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old, but I just bought this hat yesterday.'

````

Full Circle?

Two elderly gentlemen, Tony and George, from the retirement day center in Waterlooville, Hampshire, are sitting on a bench under a tree when Tony turns to George and says, 'Hey, George, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel these days?'

Tony replies with a glint in his eye, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'

'Really?' George sounds surprised. 'Like a newborn baby?'

'Yeah,' laughs Tony, 'No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

````

Retire from Golf?

'How was your game, dear?' Jacqui asked her husband, Tony, after he had returned from playing golf.

'Well, I was hitting the ball pretty well, but my eyesight's got so bad I couldn't see where it went,' Tony answered.

'That's not surprising,' Jacqui replied. 'After all, you are 76 years old, Tony. Why don't you take my brother Stewart along?'

'Because he's 87 and doesn't play golf anymore,' Tony commented dryly.
'I know, but he's got perfect eyesight. He could watch the ball for you.' Jacqui added.

The next day Tony teed off with Stewart looking on. Tony swung and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway.

````

A Confession - Funny Retirement Speech

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician, who was also a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little leaving speech at the dinner. He was delayed so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.

'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his place of business, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'

Just as the priest finished his talk the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his speech.

'I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived, 'said the politician.' In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession.'

'Can you see it?' demanded Tony.
'Yeah,' Stewart said smiling.

'Well, where is it?' Tony asked, peering off into the distance in search of the ball that was now out of his eyesight range.
'I forget.' mumbled Stewart

````

A Wise Old Bird


High in the Himalayan mountains lived a wise old man. Periodically, he ventured down into the local village to entertain the villagers with his special knowledge and talents. One of his skills was to 'psychically' tell the villagers the contents in their pockets, boxes, or minds.

A few young boys from the village, decided to play a joke on the wise old man and discredit his special abilities.

One boy came up with the idea to capture a bird and hide it in his hands. He knew of course, the wise old man would know the object in his hands was a bird. The boy devised a plan.

Knowing the wise old man would correctly state the object in his hands was a bird, the boy would ask the old man if the bird was dead or alive. If the wise man said the bird was alive, the boy would crush the bird in his hands, so that when he opened his hands the bird would be dead; if the wise man said the bird was dead, the boy would open his hands and let the bird fly free. So no matter what the old man said, the boy would prove the old man a fraud.

The following week, the wise old man came down from the mountain into the village. The boy quickly caught a bird and cupping it out of sight in his hands, walked up to the wise old man and asked, 'Old man, old man, what is it that I have in my hands?'

The wise old man said, 'You have a bird,' and he was right.

The boy then asked, 'Old man, old man tell me, is the bird alive or is it dead?'
The wise old man looked at the boy and said, 'The bird is as you choose it.'

And so it is with your life.

````

Aging Problems

Visiting Doctor Ross last month Paula, a long retired schoolteacher, explained in some detail her problems while he listened very patiently.

'Now, Paula,' said Doctor Ross, 'you say you have shooting pains in your neck, aching knees, frequent dizzy spells, and constant nausea. Just for the record, how old are you?'

'Ah, yes,' Paula spoke brightly, 'I'll be 49 on my next birthday.'

'Really?' commented the doctor quietly, 'I see you have slight memory loss, too.'

````

Veteran's Bus Tour

The veteran's football team was being driven through Dublin in an open-top bus. The driver was giving a running commentary as they toured the city. 'We are just passing the biggest pub in Ireland', said the driver.

A voice piped up from the back of the bus piped up. 'Why?'

````

Lost in His Own Back Yard?

One day a police panda car pulled up to Granny's home and Grampy got out. The constable explained that this elderly gentlemen had said he was lost in the Victoria park.

'Why, Ivor, 'said Granny, 'You've been going there for over 30 years! How on earth could you say you had got lost?'

Leaning close to Granny so the police officer couldn't hear, he whispered, 'Wasn't exactly lost. I was just too tired to walk home.'

````

Stephanie, an elderly woman was telling her daughter, Joyce, about a date with a 90-year-old man. 'Believe it or not, I had to slap his face three times!' complained Stephanie with a smile.

'Do you mean that old man got fresh with you?' Joyce asked with disgust showing all over her face.

'Oh, no dear,' explained Stephanie, 'I had to keep slapping his face to keep him awake!

````

My wife said, 'Whaddya doing today?'

I said, 'Nothing.'

She said, 'You did that yesterday.'

I said, 'I haven't finished yet.'

````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


Is it the weekend yet? happydance


No? Well Friday is practically the weekend right?? yay


Besides that, I do have a weak end from sitting on it all blooming week. shocked


Friday's not going to be much of an improvement at 44 degrees, but Saturday, Sunday, and Monday are all going to be upper 50s and low 60s. penguin


As for now, I've got my little snuggle buddy Beau here to help me while away the hours with him and Missy, until the warmer weather gets here, and we can run naked, we can run not so tightly wrapped, across the open fields.......or through the woods. grin


Anyway I think a far more important question than is it the weekend yet, is; Is dinner ready yet? It's not of course, I know that because I'm sitting here talking to you all instead of cooking it. rolleyes


Neither Missy or Beau came with any culinary training.


They're very good at making whatever I cook disappear though. puppy


Have a happy day everyone.


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 01/24/19 09:12 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1175678
01/25/19 12:14 AM
01/25/19 12:14 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
It's going to be -8 when I go to work tomorrow, with a -25 windchill. lol It's going to be a great day!

Have a happy day Joe and all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1175684
01/25/19 01:41 AM
01/25/19 01:41 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a great day Joe, Ana and all who follow. wave

Quick post tonight, as I'm late for bed. I have one more work day to get through tomorrow. smile

Have a terrific Friday, everyone. winter


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1175694
01/25/19 06:02 AM
01/25/19 06:02 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, venus, and everyone. Joe enjoy your time with the pups! Ana bundle up! That is a bone chilly day ahead for you! shiver Venus hope all is going well with Isis. Mary you sound really positive! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Taintedfury good luck at the skin doctor today. Soot and L4L enjoy your time with Levi! Coffee, tea and hot chocolate are ready.
cat Wishing everyone a Happy Day! cat


Gerry
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1175700
01/25/19 07:32 AM
01/25/19 07:32 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Super TGIF. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC. winter


Connie
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1175704
01/25/19 09:37 AM
01/25/19 09:37 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
Taintedfury Offline
Addicted Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
Good morning Joe sherlockgreat laughs thanks rotfl , Ana joy, kaki's Sister cat, Connie hamster& Venus catrub, Hope you all have a fun day, lot's of gaming and keep the chills away.. eek12

Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1175706
01/25/19 10:00 AM
01/25/19 10:00 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,658
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,658
Alabama
Good morning Joe Ana Venus Gerry Connie TaintedFury and the rest of the gang when you are up and at em laugh

I am on the road again...

Gerry I'll take a coffee for the trip

L4L hearts

Have a wonderful day everyone

car


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1175717
01/25/19 11:44 AM
01/25/19 11:44 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

It's a bright, shiny day in CO but I think I heard the words "fifteen" in conjunction with temperature. I will be staying inside. Have to think of what I can make for dinner using what we have on hand. I keep thinking I'm making enough of whatever to have leftovers for the next day, but that keeps not working out rotfl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1175737
01/25/19 06:07 PM
01/25/19 06:07 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 7,402
marietta,georgia
family Offline
BAAG Specialist
family  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 7,402
marietta,georgia
samne watching court shows and soap opera.

Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1175740
01/25/19 08:44 PM
01/25/19 08:44 PM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
Taintedfury Offline
Addicted Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
Hiya Soot wave2 safe driving...... car

Looney lab & family happydance super afternoon too both of you - happy gaming. joy

Last edited by Taintedfury; 01/25/19 08:45 PM.
Previous Thread
Index
Next Thread

Moderated by  BrownEyedTigre 

Who's Online Now
4 registered members (OrleansBelle, dorish, Winfrey, BrownEyedTigre), 252 guests, and 0 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Staff, Mod
Newest Members
PierreLombardo, Dux, WillPowerGoat, Ebalon, J7769mon
9388 Registered Users
Powered by UBB.threads™