First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
~George Burns~
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Oscar Wilde's WitA pompous speaker who had a great opinion of himself gave a long after-dinner speech. He then made the mistake of turning to his neighbor on the top table, who happened to be Oscar Wilde, and asked, 'How would you have delivered that speech?' Under an assumed name', came the reply from Oscar Wilde.
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A Selection of Oscar Wilde Quotations to Get you Started My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.
The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - The unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.
Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.
We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language.
There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written.
But what is the difference between literature and journalism?
Journalism is unreadable and literature is not read. That is all.
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.
Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.
Arguments are to be avoided: they are always vulgar and often convincing.
Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow.
Who, being loved, is poor?
I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.
New Oscar Wilde QuoteAfter being lost for over 120 years, this Oscar Wilde quote turned up in the cover of an old book:
'One can exist without art, but one cannot live without it.'
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Old Age, I decided, is a gift!I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body - the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long.
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante-garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
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This is how to find your wife, even in the busiest supermarket. Follow these four point instructions, the technique never fails.
Have a look around at the shoppers, then walk up to the prettiest girl in the store.
Say to her, 'Excuse me, can you help me? I cannot see my wife, and I know that she is here in the supermarket somewhere. Can you just talk to me for a couple of minutes?'
The pretty girl will ask: 'Why?'
You reply: 'Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife materialises out of thin air.'
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When visiting my wife's home country of England on our honeymoon, we arrived at London's Heathrow Airport. Geraldine headed for the British passport entry queue while I, an Australian, waited in the 'foreigners' queue. When my turn came, the Immigration official asked me the purpose of my visit. 'Pleasure,' I replied. 'I'm on my honeymoon.'
The officer looked first to one side of me, then the other. 'That's very interesting, sir,' he said as he stamped my passport. 'Most men bring their wives with them.'
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Can you believe this? Could it only happen in the USA?A jury of her peers awarded a woman from Austin, Texas $780,000 after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amok inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving tyke was the woman's own son.
A 19 year old youth from Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran his hand over with a Honda Accord. The young man apparently didn't notice someone was at the wheel of the car whose hubcap he was trying to steal.
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Ten Unusual Accidents
Figures published by the Department of Health reveal a huge range of unusual accidents, which put people in hospital in England in 2004. Here is just a small sample. Odd accidents affect one million people.
Fact is always stranger than fiction. Here is are ten freak accidents.1) Two people were admitted after being in contact with venomous spiders. Both stayed in hospital for five days. Coincidence or the nature of spider venom?
2) Twenty two people suffered from exposure to ignition or melting of nightwear, most of them men. Does this mean that contrary to the male psyche, women do not wear nightwear?
3) 1,481 people, most of them children, were injured by hot drinks. Most of the poor children required an overnight stay in hospital.
4) Two people needed five days of treatment after contact with centipedes or venomous millipedes.
What goes ninety nine bonk, ninety nine bonk? Answer a centipede with a wooden leg.
5) 15 people were admitted after contact with a marine animal. On average they needed an average of two days in hospital.
6) Four people had an average of two days' treatment after exposure to vibrations.
7) 1,839 people - fell out of trees. No surprises that 80% of the injuries were to children.
8) 4,533 people fell when using ice-skates, skis, roller-skates or skateboards. 57% of them were under 15.
9) One boy needed an overnight stay after being ' bitten or struck' by an alligator. (By comparison, 3,508 people were bitten or struck by dogs.)
10) One child was admitted to hospital after 'prolonged stay in a weightless environment' . He or she did not stay overnight. There are no further details about who this person was or how they had come to need treatment.
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Here are 10 unexpected categories of cases dealt with by UK hospitals in 2007/8.
1. Crocodile Bites (2)
2. Rat Bits (21)
3. Ice skate accidents (5) by people over 80
4, Volcanic Eruptions (14) admissions
5. Contact with plant thorns (232)
6. Water Jets (17)
7. Lawnmowers (218)
8. Caught in Avalanche (10) We are talking about the UK here.
9. Cataclysmic Storm (18) Please let us know what this means!
10 Struck by Lightning (44)
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Good morning everyboomie.
Well I'd have to say in earnest that Punxsutawney Phil was spot on about us having an early Spring. Today we were 79 degrees.
I still have my front door propped open right now. We've dropped all the way down to 67.
The first thing I did today was to go see a hypnotist to have all memory of that game wiped out of my memory.
Tomorrow I'm going to ask for my money back.
I didn't want to waste such a nice day. We went to the park after breakfast. Later on I went to the car wash. It took quite a bunch of quarters to get my truck clean.
I had to spend a bunch more time cleaning it after getting back home, and that didn't include cleaning the inside yet.
Tomorrow we have a cold front. Only 72 degrees.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Tomorrow is going to be another long day, plus I have to try and squeeze in my Emission's test. I didn't realize it was late. 
Too much going on lately. Oh, well. At least I have cute cats. 
Coffee, tea and hot chocolate are ready.
, Ana 
,Soot
,Kaki's Sister 
,Venus 
& Connie 
in the morning take care all. 
