"Martin Levine, owner of a movie theater chain in New York City, has passed away at age 65," read the newspaper obit. "The funeral will be held on Thursday at 2:10, 4:20, 6:30, 8:40, and 10:50."
~Merrill Markoe~
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Only in America - Strange Story but True Story of the Cigars
A man from Charlotte, North Carolina, having purchased a case of very expensive cigars, insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile, the man filed a claim against the insurance company, stating that the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires'.
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The man sued - and won.Funny Story Cigar
In delivering the ruling the judge, agreeing that the claim was frivolous, stated nevertheless that the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure against fire, without defining what it considered to be 'unacceptable fire' , and was obliged to pay the claim. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he had lost 'in the fires'.
After he cashed the check, however, the company had him arrested on 24 counts of arson. With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
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Henry decided that he wanted to buy a new suit and discovered that the particular outfit he wanted was too expensive for his modest salary. Now, many people may have cut down on their visits to the pub in order to save the money. Not Henry. He came up with a plan to cheat the insurance company out of the money. Cigar Suit
Henry phoned his insurance company and explained that his suit had been damaged in an accident: in fact, it had a number of cigar burns on the jacket which prevented it being worn as a suit. [This, of course, was a lie; a complete fabrication]. The insurance company promised to look into it and dispatched an assessor to see Henry personally. The assessor arrive done evening and took down all the details of the damage and the cost of a replacement. While the insurance man was completing the paper work, Henry, who was terrified of being caught committing an offence such as insurance fraud, sprinted upstairs, lit a cigar and burned several large holes in the jacket of his favourite suit.
Returning downstairs, Henry was just in time to see the assessor off the premises and was told that the money for a new suit would be sent to him immediately.
'Don't you want to see the suit?' asked Henry.
'Oh no,' replied the assessor, 'we trust you.'
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A man from Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbour's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced-in yard, as was the man. The award was less than sought because the jury felt that the man who, at the time, was shooting the animal repeatedly with a pellet gun might have provoked the dog.
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Strange but True Story - Woman, 86, Arrested in Pizza RowAn 86-year-old woman has been arrested for calling emergency services because she couldn't get a pizza delivered. Dorothy Densmore, of Charlotte, North Carolina, spent two nights behind bars after dialing ' 911' 20 times in 38 minutes. Angry she could not get the meal delivered to her home, she demanded police arrest the pizza proprietors, reports the BBC.
She told police that she had been called a 'crazy old coot' by someone at the pizza shop. Mrs Densmore, who is 5ft tall and weighs seven stone, has also been charged with resisting arrest. A police spokeswoman said the octogenarian scratched, kicked and bit the hand of the officer. She has now been released from jail, pending a court appearance in July, after a judge ordered a medical evaluation.
Well as our in depth reporter said, 'That takes the biscuit'.
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A parrot spent five days under police 'interrogation' in an Argentina prison
The judge ordered Pepo the parrot to be held in custody until he told police who was his real owner, reports UOL.
Two neighbours, Jorge Machado and R Vega, were disputing ownership of the bird.
Judge Osvaldo Carlos decided the parrot should be kept in prison until he said the name of his owner.
After five days, Pepo said Jorge's name, and the parrot also sung the anthem of his favourite football team San Lorenzo.
Mr Machado said: 'I knew he wasn't going to let me down, he is a real friend and we support the same football team'. This parrot story shows that sometimes fact is stranger than fiction.
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Couple Escape Death:A traumatized couple survived being killed when the bullet fired at them ricocheted off the wife's cheek, and the husband amazingly caught it in his false teeth. This totally miraculous escape happened in Zagreb, Croatia.
Two men were fiercely arguing about an overdue debt, Will and Guy have learned from police sources. Seconds later one of them produced a pistol and fired at the couple at point blank range. Amazingly the bullet just grazed the cheekbone of Mirna Cavlovic and carried straight on towards her husband Stipe who caught it in his dentures.
'I thought I was dead for sure,' Stipe informed us, 'I didn't even see the bullet hit my wife. I just saw the flash of the gun's barrel. The next thing I knew was something hit my false teeth and I spat out the hot lead. It hurt like hell but we're both still alive.'
Bullet Lodges in Man's False TeethGuy is of the opinion that he was probably saved because so much of the bullet's speed had been lost when it first struck his wife's cheek.
The perpetrator of the crime ran from the scene but we have learned that he is now in police custody awaiting trial.
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The Story Behind Smokey the World's Loudest CatThis is the true cat story of Smokey, from Pitsford, Northampton, is the world's loudest cat. She purrs at an astounding 92 decibels, nearly four times the volume of your average cat.
Smokey's owners, Ruth and Mark Adams, are petitioning the Guinness Book of World Records to formally recognize Smokey as the World's loudest cat. So far, Smokey is unopposed, as the title is not held by any other cat; that is, unless another extremely loud cat emerges to challenge Smokey.
A few other sounds that are around 92dB:
A traffic jam
747 coming in for a landing
Train whistle
Tractor
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Cat and Mice in HeavenA cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, 'You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.'
The cat thought for a minute and then said, 'All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.'
God said, 'Say no more.' Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.
A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat.
The mice said, 'Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again.'
God answered, 'It is done.' All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.
About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, 'Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?'
The cat replied, 'Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little meals on wheels you have been sending over are delicious!'
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Good morning everyboomie.
It's HUMP DAY!!!
My Tuesday was one fantasticly nice day.
I didn't do a lot except to go out walking with Missy 4 or 5 times.
Wednesday is supposed to be wet I guess. Ninety percent rain chance.
Not sure I'll do much on Wednesday either if it rains.
Whatever your day holds, I hope it's a good one.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
L4L
well at least You and Missy 
are getting out the house walking enjoying the weather which is good. 
that doesn't sound good at all - stay inside if possible and rugged up...take care 
