I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
When my baby granddaughter LeeAnn came home from the hospital, the aunts, uncles and cousins were there to greet her.
I showed her cousin Alex the baby and told him, “This is Grandma’s girl.”
Alex replied, “You are not her grandma; she doesn’t even know you.”
I was walking along a back road when two bunnies suddenly leapt into the air and landed one on top of the other. To my astonishment, I saw that one had pushed the other onto a stout groundhog.
In disgust, he lifted his nose with a grunt and a distinct
snarl, as if to say, “These rabbits nowadays! What do they teach their children?”
After the startled and likely embarrassed bunnies scuttled away, the groundhog stayed in the same position for a few moments before waddling off, still in a huff. I’ll never forget that woodchuck’s shocked face!
My 21/2-year-old grandson,
Sam, brought a coloring book
to me and said, “Read it.”
I proceeded to make up
words to go with each page. When I finished “reading,” Sam said, “I don’t think I’ve heard that story before.”
A group of our friends from church were planning a picnic, and it sounded like fun.
The only problem was that times had been a bit tight for me, as I was a single mother with four children. What did
I have that we could contribute to the picnic?
Then a thought struck. I could make a cherry pie! A friend had given me a quart of canned cherries that would make a very nice pie filling.
So I prepared the crust, thickened the cherries, and put the pie together. When it came out of the oven, it looked so good and the aroma was wonderful.
At the picnic, my fiance, Stu, was the first to take a bite of my pie. I saw a puzzled look go across his face. Then he began to spit out cherry pits. It had not occurred to me someone would can cherries without pitting them first. How embarrassing!
Well, he married me anyway. And the cherry pie has been an inside joke for the past 48 years.
When I told my son where milk comes from, he asked, “Mama, how
do the cows sit on those little bottles?”
On Easter one year, I got to see my 5-year-old granddaughter, Julia. I wore my best suit for
Julia said, “Grandpa, you look so handsome today. Did you take a shower?”
My niece made some food for another family at church. She prayed over it, asking the kids
if they’d like to add anything. Her 3-year-old daughter, Boston, said, “Thank you, God, that we didn’t give them all of our food.”
In the late ’50s I was working construction, leveling the corner of a house that we had jacked about 4 inches above the ground. One of the jacks slipped and the house came down with a loud bang.
The next thing we knew,
the owner, who was a minister, ran out and looked up at the
sky. “I thought the Lord was coming!” he told us. We all had a good laugh.
A little girl climbed up onto her grandfather’s lap and asked, “Did God make me?”
“Yes,” the grandpa replied.
“Did he make you, too?”
“Well,” the girl said, looking
at his wrinkles and thinning hair, “he sure is doing a better job nowadays!”
My 3-year-old granddaughter, Sydney, told my husband, Ted, and me that she was going fishing with her dad. Ted asked if she was going to use worms. “No,” she said. “I’m going to use a fishing pole.”
A young man was planting some flower seeds on a sweltering day, sweating from the hot sun.
His neighbor said, “You need to wait until the sun goes down, or plant in the morning when it is coolest.”
The man said, “I can’t do that. It says on the package, ‘Plant in full sun!’ ”
My daughter Pam sent me
this message: “Things never
to do list. Go grocery shopping and forget you put eggs in your hoodie pocket after collecting them from the chickens, then lean against the meat counter.
It makes a mess!”
After dinner one night, I asked my son Jimmy to fetch a broom from the back porch so I could sweep the floor. Complaining,
he said, “But it’s dark out there. I’m afraid.”
I said to him, “It’s OK, God is with you.” Slowly Jimmy opened the porch door and said, “God, if you’re out there, would you hand me the broom?”
When weeding your garden, there’s an easy way to tell the difference between a weed and a vegetable or flower. Pull on it, and if it doesn’t come up, it’s a weed. But if it comes out easily, it’s not.
While passing by a park, my son Zach
shouted, “Look, Mom! A tater-totter!”
I was waiting in a long security line at the airport in Orlando, Florida. People were fussing, moaning and groaning.
I heard a mom say to her son, “It won’t be too long, and you don’t even need to take your shoes off.” The boy replied, “Can we get a fast pass?”
I chuckled to myself, thinking they must have just come from Disney World.
While carrying 3-year-old Matthew up the stairs, I told him, “Just think, when you get older you can carry me up the stairs.”
He thought about this and then, with a worried look, he asked, “Will you be any smaller?”
My 3-year-old grandson, Cruise, has always been impressed with Grandpa’s mighty machines, which include a tractor, an ATV and a snowmobile. One day his mom said to him, “Let’s go to Grandma’s to use her sewing machine.” He quickly responded, “Can I ride it?”
Good morning everyboomie.
Hump Day has arrived. Wow, that took a whole week!
I guess we're all a week closer to meeting our maker. How nice.
We got up into the 40s today, 50s for Hump Day, and 60s for Thursday.
I messed around finishing up that bathroom today. I thought that would be the best place for me to make a mess.
I plan on running down to Texas and go to Sam's tomorrow. I've put it off for over two weeks.
I hope you all have a fantastic Hump Day.