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Sip & Surf Sunday Joe's #1181326
03/23/19 07:19 PM
03/23/19 07:19 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,565
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,565
Calera, Oklahoma
I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together; It was riveting.

~Stewart Francis~
``````````````````````````


Our Gen-X daughter, Cristie, made my husband a Father’s Day card entitled “Things My Dad Would Never Say.” Such as:

“Can you turn up that music?”

“Go ahead and take my truck. Here’s 50 bucks for gas.”

“I LOVE your tattoo. We should both get new ones.”

“Here, you take the remote.”

````

Before I took the old family car to college, my father loaded the trunk with soft-drink bottles filled with oil, coolant and transmission fluid. Sure enough, my car overheated. Scolding myself for not listening to my father’s instructions, I looked at the engine and saw how well he knew me. The oil cap was labeled Dr Pepper, the transmission stick, Coke, and the empty coolant container, Diet Pepsi. I finished the trip safely.

````

My 16-year-old brother, Ryan, was out late with friends one night. Suddenly he realized it was Father’s Day and he had neglected to buy a card for our dad. After much searching, Ryan located an open store, but was disappointed to find only two cards left on a picked-over rack. Selecting one, he brought it home and, somewhat sheepishly, presented it to our father.

Upon opening it, Dad read this message: “You’ve been like a father to me.” He looked at Ryan, puzzled.

“Well, Dad,” Ryan tried to explain, “it was either that or the card that said, ‘Now that I’m a father too!’”

````

We were marching to the chow hall when we spotted a pathetic-
looking recruit standing at attention by a mailbox, a whole book of stamps plastered to his forehead. When our drill instructor demanded an explanation, the man bellowed, “This recruit has proved himself worthless and weak and is being mailed home to his mother!”

````

My mother was standing on 
the bus when she noticed that a 
man holding on to the same pole 
was staring at her. Finally, he said, “Excuse me. This is my stop.”

“Well,” she said, “go ahead.”

“This is my pole,” he said.

My mother was confused until he added, “I just bought it at a store to hold up my shower curtain.”

````

I think I’ve finally decoded the 
language of sale-a-day websites:

Statement jewelry = large and ugly

Lots of personality = odd and ugly

Cutting-edge = disturbing and ugly

````

A headline in my local newspaper: “Appleton Airport May Soon Be Known as Appleton Airport.”

````

When I stepped on the scale at 
my doctor’s office, I was surprised 
to see that I weighed 144 pounds.

“Why don’t you just take off 
that last four?” I joked to the nurse’s 
aide as she made a notation on 
my chart.

A few moments later, my doctor came in and flipped through the chart.

“I see you’ve lost weight,” he said. “You’re down to 14 pounds.”

````

I was alone in an elevator when a girl stepped in with a phone pressed to her ear. “I have to go,” she told the person on the other end. “There’s 
a cute guy standing here.” Before 
I could react, she turned to me and said, “Sorry for lying. I just wanted to end that conversation.”

````

Testimony Taken Down by Me, a Court Reporter

Question: Now, to the best of your knowledge, did your internal bleeding stop?

Answer: I hope so.

````

• I work in IT. A customer asked 
me if a string of numbers I’d read off was upper- or lowercase.

• Someone once asked, “Is this the museum?” I work at a pool.

• A few of the things customers 
have asked for at our art-supply 
store include disco balls, trees, and crucifixion wood.

• I’m a butcher. A woman asked 
if she could sleep in our freezer to test out a heavy-duty sleeping bag before a trip to the Himalayas.

````

A mother complained to my wife, 
a schoolteacher, that other students were stealing her daughter’s pencils.

“It’s not the money—it’s the 
principle,” she insisted. “My husband took those pencils from work.”

````

My client buys many rental properties, not always with the 
enthusiastic support of his wife. Recently, I was showing him a home when his wife called. I could hear her ask what he was doing. “The real estate agent and I are having an affair,” he answered.

“Oh, thank God,” she said. “I thought she was selling you another house.”

````

Heard over the plant’s paging 
system: “Will John Porter please 
return to where you were before you went where you are.”

````

Scene: A man applying for credit 
at a department store.

Clerk: What do you do for a living?

Man: I’m a tree trimmer.

Clerk: What do you do after Christmas?

````

Recently, a man stopped at my desk at the library asking for help: 
A woman had breast-fed her infant and forgotten to “tuck herself back in.” I walked over to Lady Godiva and said, “Ma’am, I’m very sorry, but we don’t allow open drink containers 
in the library.”

````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


It's great to see so many smiling faces so early in the morning. [Linked Image]


I woke up Saturday morning to warm sun shiny skies.............above all the clouds and heavy rain. [Linked Image]


We sat here all morning under a blanket, where Missy prefers to be during a storm. puppy


There was tons of thunder. eek


I had to get up finally and look for something to do, so I started working on the back door. It's been very neglected. I cleaned it up and painted it after filling all the holes and dents. It looks much better. yes


Not sure what Sunday will hold. duh


Have a super day everyone. thumbsup


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1181327
03/23/19 07:26 PM
03/23/19 07:26 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 4,198
marietta,georgia
family Offline
Addicted Boomer
family  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 4,198
marietta,georgia
nothing.

Re: Sip & Surf Sunday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1181329
03/23/19 08:01 PM
03/23/19 08:01 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 15,455
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 15,455
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great Sunday everyone.


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1181338
03/23/19 10:02 PM
03/23/19 10:02 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 76,998
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 76,998
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, you inspired me and I spent this beautiful day cleaning. I steam vacked the carpets and scrubbed the floors. And I cleaned out the foyer closet. With all the rain and mud it was a mess!

family, how have your recipes been coming out?

SpaceQ, I really love seeing you on the board again! hearts

Have a happy day all!

Ana


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1181354
03/24/19 02:39 AM
03/24/19 02:39 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 800
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Taintedfury Offline
Settled Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 800
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Good Morning Joe & Ana good for you both your homes sound amazing, family have a wonderful day wheather in the kitchen or infront of the Tv and Hiya SpaceQuestFan have a great day. wave2

Happy gaming all:) penguin

Last edited by Taintedfury; 03/24/19 03:11 AM.
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1181357
03/24/19 04:27 AM
03/24/19 04:27 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 23,567
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 23,567
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, family,SpaceQ, Ana, Taintedfury and everyone. When I posted yesterday morning I didn't realize it had snowed overnight and we had 4 inches! It was windy and cold. Today it is supposed to be warm in the 50s so hopefully it will melt.
Coffee, tea and hot chocolate are ready. waveWishing everyone a Great Day! wave


Gerry
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1181365
03/24/19 08:39 AM
03/24/19 08:39 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 29,342
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 29,342
Usually in an Alabama Tree
Good morning Joe Family SQF Ana TaintedFury Gerry and the rest of the Diner Gang laugh

Happy Sunday!

We are looking for sunny, 76 degrees and mostly rest and relaxation wink

Take care everyone and Happy Sunday wave2


To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1181377
03/24/19 11:56 AM
03/24/19 11:56 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,006
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,006
Alabama
Good morning and Super Sunday ya'll puppy

It's a lovely day here. Went around opening windows, sat down, and had to get up and go close them all. The neighbor's are burning..........again. sad

I'm off to wax my island in the kitchen. Haven't done it in eons. Found the wax when I was cleaning out drawers, and thought..."Oh yeah, supposed to do this from time to time." rotfl

Hope you all have a wonderful day wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1181398
03/24/19 06:10 PM
03/24/19 06:10 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 29,342
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 29,342
Usually in an Alabama Tree
Grilling steaks.... and man do they smell good

Have a wonderful evening (day) everyone

wave2


To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1181436
03/25/19 02:07 AM
03/25/19 02:07 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 800
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Taintedfury Offline
Settled Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 800
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Good Morning Kaki's Sister spring may your day be full of sunshine, G'day Soot carenjoy your relaxing day and yummy steaks and Hiya Looney lab take care and goodluck with the waxing... wave2

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