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Happy Hump Day Joe's #1181680
03/26/19 05:47 PM
03/26/19 05:47 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
I’d like the window that says “Are you sure you want to do this? OK/Cancel” to pop up less often on my computer and more in my real life.

~@AaronFullerton~
````````````````````````````


My daughter said something to me that I didn’t think was very polite. I told her she needed to say it again in a nicer way—so she repeated it with a British accent.

````

I was showing my kids an old rotary phone when my nine-year-old asked, “How did you text on it?”

My 15-year-old daughter roared with laughter, until a thought occurred to her: “Wait, where did you store 
your contacts?”

````

My grandmother called to tell me she’d gotten an e-mail account. “Great,” I said. “Send me a message so I’ll have your e-mail address.” I waited and waited, but she never sent it. Several days later, an envelope arrived—Grandma had written her info on a piece of paper and mailed it to me.

````

Whoever said not to cry over spilled milk has obviously never had to pump before.

````

“Those frames are so flattering,” 
I assured my sister. She’d just gotten new glasses after 25 years and wasn’t happy with them.

“They’re OK,” she said, staring gloomily at herself in the mirror.

“Can you see better?”

“Yeah, I can see better.”

“So what’s wrong?”

“Well, for one thing,” she said, 
“I thought I was still cute.”

````

My nine-year-old and I passed 
a store with a sign that read “Watch Batteries Installed—$5.”

He seemed confused: “Who would pay to watch batteries installed?”

````

Shortly after my grandmother passed away, I took my daughter to her grave site, which was located beside a row of pine trees.

“How nice,” I said. “Grandma has a great spot here in the shade.”

My daughter replied, “Mom, they’re all in the shade.”

````

A neighbor’s 44-year-old sister was pregnant with twins. When 
her niece asked if she knew the genders, she said, “No. I want it to be a surprise.”

“You’re 44 and having twins,” said her niece. “How much more surprise do you need in your life?”

````

When my husband’s friend gave his order at a fast-food restaurant, the cashier asked for his name.

“It’s Stephen, with a ph,” he said.

Soon after, he was handed his 
order and a receipt, which had his name on it: Pheven.

````

Our business relies heavily on abbreviations. For example, I called a customer the other day. Reading from my printout, I asked, “Are you still a fun director?”

After a pause, he replied, “I’m a funeral director.”

````

One of my fourth-grade students told me he had trouble with math. His explanation summed it up well: “The guy next to me always gets ten out of ten on his quizzes, and I get only ten out of four.”

````

From an ad for an acting job: “When we finish the commercial, 
it will be shown on screens in over 200 supermarkets. It’s a great opportunity for you to expose yourself in front of everyone!”

````

My grandfather is a meat and potatoes guy. Once, while getting dinner ready, I asked how he liked his vegetables prepared. He said, “Fed to a cow, so they’ll turn into steak.”

````

At an all-you-can-eat buffet, my nine-year-old was excited to find a chocolate milk machine. But her aunt did not approve. “Chocolate milk for dinner?” she asked.

“It’s delicious!” said my daughter.

Her aunt shrugged. “Well, its 8 a.m. somewhere.”

````


Our Grand Canyon guide was asked if people ever get too close to the edge and fall over.

“Some do,” he said. “I call that natural selection.”

````

The traffic light near my street buzzes when it’s safe to cross the road. Recently, a friend of mine asked what the buzzer was for.

“It tells blind people when the light is red,” I said.

She was appalled: “What are blind people doing driving?”

````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


It is Wednesday March 27th, and I'm a little bummed out.


There are a whole lot of things around here that need to be done. Being ever the procrastinator, I would normally put them off until next Spring, but I already did that..............last Spring. oops


I'm running out of clean underwear already. Among other things. blush


I painted the trim around the storage yesterday, well the door frame, and the corners anyway. I only had a quart of paint. It doesn't matter anway because I've decided to change the color again to the chocolate brown color on my house.


I have to have color coordinated house and storage, don't you know. razz


I was only adding color to it because I already had that quart of paint to begin with. slapforehead


I'm getting these diner post out either too early, or late now because of the time change. The time usually sneaks up on me, but now I want to get on YouTube and watch videos. happydance


Am I the only person here addicted to these things? The videos of dash cam captures of car crashes, or motorcycle crashes, or road rage, or cops busting sovereign citizens, instant karma videos, ghost videos, haunted house videos, paranormal activity videos, idiots at work videos.....and many more. taz


I just find them interesting, thought provoking, and endlessly entertaining. bravo


I'm going to watch some now.


Have a happy day everyone. urock


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Happy Hump Day Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1181683
03/26/19 06:04 PM
03/26/19 06:04 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 7,402
marietta,georgia
family Offline
BAAG Specialist
family  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 7,402
marietta,georgia
watching court shows and soap opera, doing cooking class every wednesday.

Re: Happy Hump Day Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1181689
03/26/19 09:25 PM
03/26/19 09:25 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, every time someone sends me a video , I get sucked in to watching a bunch more!

family, how awesome you are taking classes! Have fun!

Have a great day all!

Ana


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Happy Hump Day Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1181715
03/27/19 03:30 AM
03/27/19 03:30 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Online happy
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Online Happy
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, family, Ana and everyone. Joe sounds like you still have lots of projects! Familyenjoy your cooking class. Ana do you have a busy schedule today? Coffee, tea and hot chocolate are ready.
waveWishing everyone a Happy Hump Day! wave


Gerry
Re: Happy Hump Day Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1181755
03/27/19 11:45 AM
03/27/19 11:45 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Happy Hump Day ya'll puppy

Son has taken off to work. I'm here with boys who are on Spring Break.

It's a nice day out...though a bit windy.....I think I might do some dog brushing, if it warms up. G'son just asked me where the paint was? Hmmm...good question. Off to look.

wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Happy Hump Day Joe's [Re: looney4labs] #1181789
03/27/19 06:10 PM
03/27/19 06:10 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. Enjoy your evening.


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Happy Hump Day Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1181804
03/27/19 08:21 PM
03/27/19 08:21 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,658
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,658
Alabama
Happy Hump Day everyone laugh

I am getting ready to hit the sack and catch as many Zzzzz's as possible.

Thanks for the Scottish Breakfast Tea Gerry yes

See you all tomorrow! wave2


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Happy Hump Day Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1181819
03/27/19 10:03 PM
03/27/19 10:03 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Nighty night...


Don't feed the Trolls
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