If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for
a month.
~Theodore Roosevelt~
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Fore!
The 16th tee featured a fairway that ran along a road. The first golfer in a foursome teed off and hooked the ball. It soared over the fence and bounced onto the street, where it hit the tire of a moving bus and ricocheted back onto the fairway.
As they all stood in amazement, one of the golfer’s friends asked, “How did you do that?”
The golfer shrugged. “You have to know the bus schedule.”
````
Not Fade Away
Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.
Old musicians never die, they just get played out.
Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal.
Old daredevils never die, they just get discouraged.
Walt Disney didn’t die. He’s in suspended animation.
Live and Learn
Psychiatry students were in their Emotional Extremes class. “Let’s set some parameters,” the professor said. “What’s the opposite of joy?” he asked one student.
“Sadness,” he replied.
“The opposite of depression?” he asked
another student.
“Elation,” he replied.
“The opposite of woe?” the prof asked a young woman from Texas.
The Texan replied, “Sir, I believe that would be giddyup.”
````
Man’s Best Friend
A poodle and a collie were walking down the street. The poodle turned to the collie and complained, “My life is a mess. My owner is mean, my girlfriend is having an affair with a German shepherd, and I’m nervous as a cat.”
“Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?” asked the collie.
“I can’t,” replied the poodle. “I’m not allowed on the couch.”
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Q: Why are dogs such bad dancers?
A: They have two left feet.
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Next Time, Let’s Stay in a Hotel
Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. “I’ll go into town for a doctor,” the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the only doctor delivering a baby.
“I can’t leave,” the doctor says. “But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground.”
The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony. “What did the doctor say?” the victim cries.
“He says you’re gonna die.”
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Did you hear about the weekly poker game with Vasco da Gama, Christopher Columbus, Leif Eriksson and Francisco Pizarro? They can never seem to beat the Straights of Magellan.
````
—Pun American Newsletter
Six guys are playing poker. After losing $500 on one hand, Smith clutches his chest and topples over, dead at the table. To decide who’s going to tell his wife, his buddies draw straws. Anderson picks the short one.
“Break it to her gently,” they all urge.
“Leave it to me,” he says.
When Smith’s wife comes to the door, Anderson says, “Your husband just lost $500 playing cards.”
“How much?” the wife yells, eyes blazing. “Tell him to drop dead!”
````
What’s Black and White and …
A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter, and asks the bartender, “Have you seen my brother?” The bartender says, “I don’t know. What does he look like?”
````
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
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Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the weekend! Be sure and take lots of pictures. They'll undoubtedly last much longer.
CHEESE!!!
We have had just a lovely Friday. Got up to 70 I think. I did a lot of piddling around the house, and some painting.
I also installed a dash cam that I ordered in my truck. I love watching those videos on YouTube. Now I'm going to post some of my own.
BTW when I said it's been 21 years between new trucks, I didn't mean that I drove the same truck for 21 years. The last 'new' truck I bought was in 1995, which I sold in St Louis when I had a company car. After I quit Gordon's I bought a used truck, then another used one, then another used one, and then I bought this one.
Yes Ana, they are going to repair it.
Anyway, back to the weather.
We are supposed to get thunderstorms tonight. I may not get much sleep, but it's going to rain those April showers all day tomorrow, so I probably won't do much but sleep all day anyway.
Have a happy day ever body.
joe
acebook
witter
good idea about the dash cam, hubby and i just got one and put it in our car.....we usually watch the playbacks afterwards.....hope you and MIssy have a fantastic Saturday. 
wishing you a fantastic Saturday too and to all Boomers. 
happy grocery shopping and a great Saturday..
sounds like you need to put your feet up with a nice cuppa...you have a great Saturday too.
Have a Relaxing Day everyone! 
, and here I was picturing you driving around in a 25 year old truck wearing a Straw Hat and with you chewing on a piece of straw and with a hold bunch of chickens in the back of the truck... Oh well.... 