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Happy Friday! #1184435
04/25/19 06:44 PM
04/25/19 06:44 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,835
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,835
Calera, Oklahoma
My parents used to stuff 
me with candy when I was a kid. M&M’s, Jujubes, SweeTarts. I don’t think they wanted a child; I think they wanted a piñata.

~Wendy Liebman~
```````````````````````````


10 Hilarious Product Reviews That Will Have You Cry-Laughing



Hard to tell whether the line on this Nicolas Cage pillow case—”See you in my dreams”—is meant to be a threat or a comfort. Either way, it was the best holiday gift ever for this one reviewer:

“It’s Nicolas freakin’ Cage. Who wouldn’t want this? I bought one for all my loved ones for Christmas. They were at a loss for words. So much in fact, I haven’t heard from any of them since Christmas. Totally worth the money.”

````

Ah, the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer, not to be confused with the now discontinued 471 Model (just kidding, there’s no such thing). If you haven’t spent some time reading these reviews, you’re spending too much time doing other things, like slicing bananas the old fashioned way:

“Banana Slicer Saved My Life: What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn’t already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone…. this is one of the greatest inventions of all time. My husband and I would argue constantly over who had to cut the day’s banana slices. It’s one of those chores NO ONE wants to do! You know, the old ‘I spent the entire day rearing OUR children, maybe YOU can pitch in a little and cut these bananas?’ Then there’s, ‘You think I have the energy to slave over your [blip] bananas? I worked a 12-hour shift just to come home to THIS?!’ These are the things that can destroy an entire relationship. It got to the point where our children could sense the tension. The minute I heard our six-year-old girl in her bedroom, re-enacting our daily banana fight with her Barbie dolls, I knew we had to make a change. That’s when I found the 571B Banana Slicer. Our marriage has never been healthier.”

````

How can the Internet resist poking fun at an 87-implement Swiss Army Knife that’s bigger than a dinner plate? It can’t. Here are some of the sharper reviews:

“Question: Can it core a apple?

Answer: Of course it can, but the apple-corer blade is accessible only if you use it immediately after the bagpipe bladder stitch removal cumberbutton and before using the panda baby spoon.”

“Surprising Results. I tried to file my nails, but in the process I accidentally fixed a small engine that was near by. Which was nice.”

Others weren’t as impressed:

“I had it in my hip pocket; then I fell down. When I got up, I was dead. Other than that, it’s OK.”

“Disappointing. This would be a great product but was dismayed to find it has no banana slicer—that’s a deal breaker. Returning today.”

````

Back in 2012, Bic made the mistake of mansplaining writing to women—”thin barrel to fit a woman’s hand”—with their line of Bic for Her Pens. The Internet was not amused:

“If I write something with these pens, does that mean whatever I write is still wrong?”

“I’d really like to buy a pack of these pens; but I probably need my father’s or husband’s permission first.”

“Not pink enough. I was disappointed to find that only one fifth of the pens I received were pink. Or, maybe more, I can’t do math.”

````

Bic has since discontinued its For Her line (wonder why?), but people still like to make a point about pens. The standard black ink version of the old school writing implement received these reviews on the U.K. Amazon site:

“Does it use invisible ink? I tried filling it with invisible ink but got in a horrible mess because I couldn’t tell when it was full. Also can’t tell whether it’s run out or not.”

“Incompatible. Simple instrument in classic black with nice slimline profile. It allows me to write proficiently in English, pretty bloody awfully in French.”

Some people even find this version offensive, if for different reasons:

“What, no V chip? You’d think, with all of the new anti-obscenity laws, that this pen would have a V-chip installed. It DOESN’T!!!!! You should see some of the filthy words and drawings that my children were able to write with this product. I am going to file a formal complaint with the FCC.”

````

This awesome officially licensed Luke Skywalker Ceremonial Jacket with Medal of Yavin outfit will make sure you never have to buy Bic pens for girls:

“Chick Repellent. I was tired of getting hit on by beautiful women every time I went out in public, and then I bought this jacket. Problem solved. I must add that this jacket’s repellent powers are infinitely multiplied when coupled with the included Medal of Yavin. Without it, the untrained female eye may confuse this ceremonial jacket with a Justin Timberlake style biker coat.”

````

Apparently, this UFO Detector is not solving anyone’s problems:

“One star is too much for this product. I don’t know if this is a scam or if mine was broken, but it doesn’t work and I am still getting abducted by UFOs on a regular basis. Maybe the battery’s dead? I’m literally inside of a UFO right now, and the thing’s just sitting there.”

…. And it’s making life hard for our new alien overlords

UFOvia amazon.com“This lights up every time I get near it. What does that mean? Fellow Aliens, stay away from houses with these. As an Alien myself, I extremely hate creeping into humans houses and then seeing them race up and down, freaking out because they know I’m there.”

````

No one can tell if they like The Hobbit Invisible Bilbo Baggins Action Figure or not:

“After all the positive reviews I found myself caught up in the excitement and ordered this in a moment of madness. In all honesty I can’t see the appeal, I just can’t see it at all.”

“I bought this action figure but have literally no idea whether it arrived. I couldn’t see it. I think my son might have been playing with it, but maybe he was just making eerie passes in the air with his two hands. This makes it the best action figure ever. Or the worst. I think we should be told.”

````

The Yodeling Pickle, a piece of pickle-shaped plastic that yodels at the press of a button, promises hours of entertainment (“You’ll think you’re in the Swiss Alps!”), but receivers of this unusual gift have had other ideas.

One reviewer writes:

“Is this waterproof? My friend wants to know for …reasons.”

It must be a common conundrum, as another reviewer asks:

“Is it Normal? The yodeling pickle in my house appears to be possessed. Whenever I put it away in the kitchen cupboard it mysteriously appears in the top drawer of my wife’s bedside table.”

Yet another reviewer has mistaken the pickle for a different kind of accessory:

“On my birthday, I found this cute little green item on my dresser. I assumed Brad had left it for me as a ‘special’ birthday gift. I tried for hours to figure out how to pry off the lid so I could load it properly, but no go. Then the thing started yodeling at me, and I thought, Well, no more from that dispensary.’ Disappointed. Stick with a bong.”

````

White Face Paint—solving so many problems in one small container:

“Perfection in a Tube. My mime class went ape-crazy over this stuff. Comments ranged from “_________!” to “__________!!!” You’ve never seen people so excited.”

Not everyone’s impressed, though:

“Still waiting, by Dinh Nguyenon. I have covered myself in this stuff. When does the privilege kick in? Will change rating to 5-star when it does.”

````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


It is FRIDAY!!!! joy


I was going to make this a short week, but I see we still have two more days. slapforehead


Ah well, may as well enjoy them. duh


We have a pollen alert for the day, so I'll probably run to Lowe's and get an Ace pollen filter mask. My old one is too packed to wash again. razz


We're supposed to hit 77 degrees. I imagine I'll count them. You gotta keep these weather people honest. They're always fudging. rolleyes


They're so tired of hearing from me though, they've blocked my phone number. Guess I'll have to bombard them with email, or call their secret shopper line. blech


That stuff keep me busy for a little while. I'm sure I'll find something that's fun for the rest of the time. thumbsup


Have a happy day everyone. cool


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 04/25/19 06:47 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Happy Friday! [Re: gymcandy1] #1184438
04/25/19 07:15 PM
04/25/19 07:15 PM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 821
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Taintedfury Offline
Settled Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 821
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Good morning & happy Friday Joe sherlock - sometimes the weather people make me wonder when it comes to their 7 day forcast usually it changes by the time it gets to the end of week....
Loved the Nail filing and the Yodeling Jokes ROFLMAO rotfl urock

Happy gaming Boomers wave2 penguin

Re: Happy Friday! [Re: gymcandy1] #1184439
04/25/19 07:30 PM
04/25/19 07:30 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 4,826
marietta,georgia
family Offline
Addicted Boomer
family  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 4,826
marietta,georgia
watching court shows and soap opera

Re: Happy Friday! [Re: gymcandy1] #1184440
04/25/19 08:13 PM
04/25/19 08:13 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 30,579
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 30,579
Usually in an Alabama Tree
Good morning Joe TaintedFury Family and the rest of the Dinner gang

T.G.I.F. woot

I'll get started with a Tall Dark Roast Gerry thanks

And it'll be Saturday before you know it happydance

L4L hearts

Have a great day!!


To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Re: Happy Friday! [Re: gymcandy1] #1184442
04/25/19 09:09 PM
04/25/19 09:09 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 78,065
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 78,065
In the Naughty Corner
Good morning Joe, soot, family, taintedfury and all! Another running late day, thank goodness it's Friday!

Have a happy day all!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Happy Friday! [Re: gymcandy1] #1184453
04/26/19 02:51 AM
04/26/19 02:51 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,124
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Online happy
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Online Happy
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,124
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Taintedfury, family, soot, Ana and everyone. Soot come get your Tall Dark Roast . Coffee and tea are ready.
spring Wishing everyone a great day. spring


Gerry
Re: Happy Friday! [Re: gymcandy1] #1184455
04/26/19 02:59 AM
04/26/19 02:59 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 821
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Taintedfury Offline
Settled Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 821
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Good morning Ana lab, Kaki's Sister kitty, Soot car and family broccoli..wishing everybody a fabulous Friday and a happy upcoming Weekend... urock penguin

Re: Happy Friday! [Re: gymcandy1] #1184470
04/26/19 05:25 AM
04/26/19 05:25 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 11,663
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Adept Boomer
connie  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 11,663
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Great TGIF. Danish, Eggs, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and Biscuits in the NC. spring


Connie
Re: Happy Friday! [Re: gymcandy1] #1184472
04/26/19 06:19 AM
04/26/19 06:19 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 821
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Taintedfury Offline
Settled Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 821
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Good morning Connie have a lovely day..happy Friday spring

Re: Happy Friday! [Re: gymcandy1] #1184485
04/26/19 09:00 AM
04/26/19 09:00 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,260
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,260
Alabama
Good morning and Happy Friday ya'll puppy

Tis going to be a gorgeous day here. Think I'll feed the dogs and then sit outside for a bit. Have a great day wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Happy Friday! [Re: gymcandy1] #1184518
04/26/19 03:25 PM
04/26/19 03:25 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,082
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,082
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great weekend Boomers.


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Happy Friday! [Re: gymcandy1] #1184545
04/26/19 08:06 PM
04/26/19 08:06 PM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 821
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Taintedfury Offline
Settled Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 821
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Happy Friday Space Quest Fan and Looeny wish you both a wonderful day:)

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