Whoever said “It’s not whether you win or lose that counts” probably lost.

~Martina Navratilova~
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Computer Jokes/ Text Jokes


We’ll we’ll we’ll…if it isn’t autocorrect.
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Person 1: Hey Rachyl, do you remember me?

Person 2: Wrong number.

Person 1: What’s your number then?
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Matt: Hey Dr. Park, this is Matt from the Vascular lab. I have an outpatient here with an external iliac occlusion with cold foot pin and numbness that started 3 days ago. What should I do with her?

Hannah: Hi, this is Hannah. I think you have the wrong number, but I Googled it and I’m pretty sure u need to put a stent in her left radial artery. Best of luck, Matt!

Matt: Sorry, wrong number Hannah. She ended up actually getting a stent. Took about 3 hours longer for trained medical professionals to figure out what took you 3 minutes.

Hannah: Yoooo, yall hiring?
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Guy: I’m sorry. I hate when we fight cuz I really like you too and wanna be with you too and everytime we fight I feel like I’m gonna make u lose all the feelings u have for me and I don’t want that cuz I like when you like me back.

Girl: I love you too … But who are you?
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Mom: How make chicken
Daughter: What?
Mom: Where buy chicken
Daughter: Mom, this isn’t Google.
Mom: Avocado
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Daughter: Dad there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door. Can you get rid of it?

Daughter: Please hurry because I’m going to cry.

Daughter: Dad…

Daughter: Dad…

Dad: Dad is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth
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I saw a driver texting and driving.

It made me so mad I threw my beer at him.
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Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
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Thanks to autocorrect, 1 in 5 children will be getting a visit from Satan this Christmas.
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“I feel like carp today”

“Yeah, you look a little fishy”
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“I am hungary.”

“Maybe you should czech the fridge.”

“I’m russian to the kitchen.”

“Is there any turkey?”

“We have some, but it’s covered in greece”

“ew, there’s norway I’d eat that!”
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Anyone who thinks “talk is cheap”…

obviously didn’t pay my daughter’s last mobile phone bill!
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The guy who invented predictive text died last night.

His funfair is next monkey.
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The guy who invented auto-correct for smart phones passed away today.

Restaurant in peace.
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Husband: I feel like carp today.
Wife: Too bad. We're having spaghetti.
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Q: What do you call an iPhone that isn’t kidding around?

A: Dead Siri-ous
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You know you’re texting too much when…

You type ppl instead of people in a letter.
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You know you’re texting too much when…

…you try to text, but you’re on a landline.
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You know you’re texting too much when…

…you’re happy when you get stopped at a red light.
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Texting acronyms can stump even the best parents:

Mom: Your great-aunt just passed away. LOL.
Son: Why is that funny?
Mom: It’s not funny, David! What do you mean?
Son: Mom, LOL means Laughing Out Loud.
Mom: I thought it meant Lots of Love. I have to call everyone back.
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Daughter: I got an A in Chemistry.
Mom: WTF!
Daughter: Mom, what do you think WTF means?
Mom: Well That’s Fantastic.
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Mom: What do IDK, LY & TTYL mean?
Son: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.
Mom: OK, I will ask your sister.
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Good morning everyboomie.


Ana did you see this? Thought you'd get a kick from it.


I don't know why, but I always have to go see my weather forecast before I start my post.


Perhaps because I have nothing else to talk about.


It says that Monday evening we will have a damaging thunderstorm. ?


I don't much care for the damaging ones.


We're under a flood watch all day Monday and half of Tuesday.


Heck the last one had me and Missy cowering under a blanket shivering in fear all day.


It could be a busy week....if I ever did anything.


Thursday I go down to get my labs done, and then Friday I go back down to Tejas to get ma truck.


Of the two, I think I most look forward to Friday.


Have a happy day everyone.


joe

Joe! Yes, I saw that! Most homes have cameras and I always conduct myself as though they all do. Even when outside I assume neighbors are watching. They are disgusting! If that was my house, I'd be so grossed out! Stay safe in the storms! You are too loved! Yay on getting your truck back!

Have a great day all! I will be sending off my boarder after work. He's been such a love, I will miss him.

watching court shows and soap opera

Good morning everyone, have a Great Monday. Working the kitchen for Bingo today, meeting tonight. Danish, Eggs, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and Biscuits in the NC.

Magnificent Monday ya'll

Daughter's eldest doggie, Annie, had surgery today to remove cancer. We are all praying it didn't spread. Miss Annie has been with daughter for 15 years, so a bit of a trying day for all of us.

I'm sitting in the shade sipping gingerale and not moving as I had a rough night last night. Resting is the order of the day. It is hot out there, but fine in the shade.

I hope you all are having a wonderful day!

Hey Ho everyone

Hope your day was good!

Time for bed