“Martin Levine, owner of a movie theater chain in New York City, has passed away at age 65,” read the newspaper obit. “The funeral will be held on Thursday at 2:10, 4:20, 6:30, 8:40, and 10:50.”
~Merrill Markoe~
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Text Jokes
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We’ll we’ll we’ll…if it isn’t autocorrect.
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Person 1: Hey Rachyl, do you remember me?
Person 2: Wrong number.
Person 1: What’s your number then?
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Matt: Hey Dr. Park, this is Matt from the Vascular lab. I have an outpatient here with an external iliac occlusion with cold foot pin and numbness that started 3 days ago. What should I do with her?
Hannah: Hi, this is Hannah. I think you have the wrong number, but I Googled it and I’m pretty sure u need to put a stent in her left radial artery. Best of luck, Matt!
Matt: Sorry, wrong number Hannah. She ended up actually getting a stent. Took about 3 hours longer for trained medical professionals to figure out what took you 3 minutes.
Hannah: Yoooo, yall hiring?
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Guy: I’m sorry. I hate when we fight cuz I really like you too and wanna be with you too and everytime we fight I feel like I’m gonna make u lose all the feelings u have for me and I don’t want that cuz I like when you like me back.
Girl: I love you too … But who are you?
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Mom: How make chicken
Daughter: What?
Mom: Where buy chicken
Daughter: Mom, this isn’t Google.
Mom: Avocado
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Daughter: Dad there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door. Can you get rid of it?
Daughter: Please hurry because I’m going to cry.
Daughter: Dad…
Daughter: Dad…
Dad: Dad is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth
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I saw a driver texting and driving.
It made me so mad I threw my beer at him.
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Auto correct has become my worst enema.
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Thanks to auto correct, 1 in 5 children will be getting a visit from Satan this Christmas.
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“I feel like carp today”
“Yeah, you look a little fishy”
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“I am hungary.”
“Maybe you should czech the fridge.”
“I’m russian to the kitchen.”
“Is there any turkey?”
“We have some, but it’s covered in greece”
“ew, there’s norway I’d eat that!”
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Talk is (not) cheap
Anyone who thinks “talk is cheap”…
obviously didn’t pay my daughter’s last mobile phone bill!
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The guy who invented predictive text died last night.
His funfair is next monkey.
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The guy who invented auto-correct for smart phones passed away today.
Restaurant in peace.
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Q: What do you call an iPhone that isn’t kidding around?
A: Dead Siri-ous
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Q: Why was the cell phone wearing glasses?
A: It lost its contacts.
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You know you’re texting too much when…
You type ppl instead of people in a letter.
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You know you’re texting too much when…
…you try to text, but you’re on a landline.
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You know you’re texting too much when…
…you’re happy when you get stopped at a red light.
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Good morning Gameboomers.
Ready for a lazy Sunday of sipping and surfing?
I still lack a bit more trimming in the kitchen, so I'll most likely work on that. I had to make another trip to Lowe's this morning for base molding, transition pieces and another box of flooring. I only needed two little pieces to finish it. I told the girl in flooring that a couple of the pieces in the six boxes that I bought were damaged. The stuff was already almost half off, and she gave me half off of that price for another box. I got my veteran's discount on top of that.
I worked on it from the time we got back till almost 7:00. My knees have had it.
We had a very sunny day today, but now we have more rain coming .
I really need to mow my lawn. I've been putting it off for a few days while I worked on the kitchen. I was going to do it this evening, but I worked too late on the kitchen floor and was too tired for it.
Maybe tomorrow if it's not raining.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
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I'm thinking you're having a fun time 
Hope everyone has time to relax and enjoy part of the day! 
