When people go through something rough in life, they say, “I’m taking it one day at a time.” Yes, so is everybody. Because that’s how time works.
~Hannibal Buress~
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Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
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When I bought my new Lexus Sport Coupe, my two sons asked me who would inherit it if I met my demise. I pondered the question, then told them if I passed away on an even day, the son born on an even day would get it. If it happened on an odd day, the one born on the odd day would get it.
A few weekends later, while river rafting with one of my sons, I was tossed out of the boat. As I floated in the rapids, I heard my son yelling, "It’s the wrong day!"
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My five children and I were playing hide-and-seek one evening. With the lights turned off in the house, the kids scattered to hide, and I was "it." After a few minutes I located all of them. When it was my turn to hide, they searched high and low but could not find me.
Finally one of my sons got a bright idea. He went to the phone and dialed; they found me immediately because my phone started ringing.
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The family was viewing old slides and one flashed on the screen that caught everyone’s attention. My father, wearing his favorite golf shirt, was holding me at the tender age of three weeks.
The look on his face told all. “There’s my prize possession,” my father said.
Touched, I smiled at him as he continued, “I wonder whatever happened to that golf shirt?”
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My 16-year-old brother, Ryan, was out late with friends one night. Suddenly he realized it was Father’s Day and he had neglected to buy a card for our dad. After much searching, Ryan located an open store, but was disappointed to find only two cards left on a picked-over rack. Selecting one, he brought it home and, somewhat sheepishly, presented it to our father.
Upon opening it, Dad read this message: “You’ve been like a father to me.” He looked at Ryan, puzzled.
“Well, Dad,” Ryan tried to explain, “it was either that or the card that said, ‘Now that I’m a father too!’”
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It began as an innocent game with my toddler son, Robert. I’d get in the fighter’s stance and start shadowboxing. Jabbing with both fists, I’d say, "One-two, one-two," and he would imitate me over and over.
I never thought about the consequences of this little exercise until my wife took our son to a birthday party. When the boy’s mother was handing out noisemakers she leaned over to Robert and asked, "Would you like one too?"
It took my wife a while to explain her way out of what happened next.
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On vacation my nine-year-old son, Ryan, and I were at the pool, where two attractive young women wearing thong bikinis were sunning themselves. I noticed that Ryan kept staring at them, but he would occasionally glance back at me.
When they got up to leave, Ryan watched them particularly closely. I was bracing myself for questions he might have when he turned to me and whispered, "Dad, can I take that candy bar those girls left behind?"
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A friend of mine has an adopted son who, at six-foot-one, loves to play basketball. The boy was applying to basketball camp, and a section of the application called for him to write a brief essay about himself. My friend got a lump in his throat as he read his son’s words: "Most of all I am thankful that I am adopted…"
Then my friend got a cold dose of reality as he continued: "because my dad is so short."
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What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
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You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there?
European.
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Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France?
They were cooked in Greece.
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Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind... it's tearable.
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I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw!
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If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?
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Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants!
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A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we don’t serve food here."
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What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1
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Good morning everyboomie.
Well today felt a little more like a week day for me. I got out and went to town.
I went to Lowe's to return some things, but I saw on line at Lowe's.com that the storm doors were on sale through today, and I've been wanting to get a storm door for my back door, so I bought one and came home and installed it. HooRah!
I've gotta stop going to Lowe's.
Gerry I'd love to go head hunting, but I don't want to tackle creek hunting this time of year. I have to fight ticks, mosquitoes, snakes, the heat, thick brush, and thorn vines everywhere. Plus with all the rain we've had, the grass grows thick on the sandbars making it hard to find anything.
I'll go back to the sod farm soon to see if there is anywhere I can look and find them. I have to catch it when there is bare ground exposed after he's cut sod,
or maybe there'll be somewhere that has been plowed up.
I've gotta find some new hunting grounds.
Have a great day everyone.
joe
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Happy Thursday wished for everyone! 
