Whoever said “It’s not whether you win or lose that counts” probably lost.
~Martina Navratilova~
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Jon: What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father?
Tom: What?
Jon: One’s a pop fly. The other’s a fly pop.
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Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.
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Johnny’s father: Let me see your report card.
Johnny: I don’t have it.
Johnny’s father: Why not?
Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.
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“Dad, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy.
“Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his father replied.
After dinner the father inquired, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”
“Oh, nothing,” the boy said. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”
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A small boy was at the zoo with his father. They were looking at the tigers, and his father was telling him how ferocious they were.
“Daddy, if the tigers got out and ate you up…”
“Yes, son?” the father asked, ready to console him.
“ …Which bus would I take home?”
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Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?
Science student: When my father sees my report card!
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Joe: What does your father do for a living?
Jon: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.
Joe: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Jon: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.
~~~~
Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”
“That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”
A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”
“That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”
A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”
“That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”
The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask.
“I work for 7 Up!”
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Son: For $20, I’ll be good.
Dad: Oh, yeah? When I was your age, I was good for nothing.
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Pee Wee: What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice?
Westy: Beats me.
Pee Wee: A POPsicle!
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Pee Wee: How is the baby bird like its dad?
Westy: How?
Pee Wee: It’s a chirp off the old block.
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Dad: How do you like fourth grade?
Son: It isn’t much fun.
Dad: That’s too bad. It was the best three years of my life!
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Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?
Dad: No.
Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!
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Jacob: I have a lot of my dad’s genes.
Dave: Really? I bet they don’t fit you very well.
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Good morning everyboomie.
A nuther Friday has arrived, and not a minute too soon.
Fridays never arrive too soon.
We had an unbearably humid Thursday, but it actually doesn't feel half bad out there right now.
Too bad it's my bed time.
I need to be mowing my lawn right now, but I just don't want to.
I spent almost all afternoon tweaking the new storm door. I had to fill gaps with caulking to make sure it was sealed good. I had to add a threshold and paint it, and I had to adjust the closer so that it closed at the right speed and latched.
Soll good now.
Not sure what Friday will hold for me, but I hope you guys all have an awesome day.
rah rah
joe
acebook
witter
Happy Friday everyone! 
