“Even though I’m proud by dad invented the rear-view mirror, we’re not as close as we appear.”
~Stewart Francis~
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Groaner dad jokes I think I want to quit my real estate job. I’d rather clean mirrors for a living. It’s just something I can see myself doing.
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Wanna hear a joke about a stone? Never mind, I’ll just skip that one.
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Son: “Dad, are you alright?”
Dad: “No, I’m half left and half right.”
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Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
A: Big hands.
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Know why they use knots instead of miles in the ocean? Because they’ve got to keep the ocean tide.
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Daughter: “Dad, I’m cold.”
Dad: “Go stand in a corner. It’s 90 degrees.”
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Jimmy (reading facts and figures from his dad’s insurance tables): “Did you know that every time I breathe, a man dies?”
Dad: “Why don’t you use a little mouthwash now and then?”
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Did you hear the news that a lot of applications just came in from people looking to pursue a career as the government’s top-ranking medical official? Yes, there was a surge in general.
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I’ve always admired fishermen. Now those are reel men.
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“Have you heard of Murphy’s law?”
“Yeah.”
“What is it?”
“If something can go wrong, it will go wrong.”
“That’s right. Have you heard of Cole’s law?”
“No, what is it?”
“Thinly sliced cabbage and mayo.”
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What do you call a bad joke?
This.
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Q: What did baby corn say to mama corn?
A: Where's popcorn?
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Q: What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice?
A: a POPsicle!
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Q: How do fathers exercise on the beach?
A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
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Q: How do you know your dad is planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
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Q: How do you scare a divorced dad?
A: Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice!
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Q: Why don't some fathers have a mid-life crisis?
A: They're stuck in adolescence.
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Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry?
A: Because his dad was in a jam!
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Q: What did the daddy tomato say to the baby tomato?
A: catch up!
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Q: Why are Fathers like parking spaces?
A: The good ones are already taken!
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Q: Why did the cookie cry?
A: Because his father was a wafer so long!
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Q: What did daddy spider say to baby spider?
A: You spend too much time on the web.
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Q: What is the definition of Mass Confusion?
A: Fathers Day in the ghetto.
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Q: What do you call the father you walk all over?
A: Stepdad.
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Q: What do toys and boobs have in common?
A: Both are made for children but it's the fathers who play with them most.
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Q: What is fathers day?
A: The day in June when a father remembers he hasn't yet paid the bills for Mother's Day.
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Good morning everyboomie.
It's FRIDAY!!! 
And I don't have a thing to wear.
You know what that means right?
I'll be going out dressed as a sun dial.
A broken one. It's stuck on 6:00. Let's hope it's cloudy.
I had a great Friday.
Every time I looked out the window I said, 'this is great'.
I didn't do much. Took the dogs to the park, and later Beau's mommy came and picked up the little guy.
Whatever your Friday holds, I hope it's a good one.
joe
acebook
witter
Joe ... you are too much some times Joe
Happy Friday everyone! 
