“Sometimes I am amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets.”
~John Kinnear~
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Dear Dad An old father living alone in the country wanted to plant his pepper garden, but the ground was too hard and he was too old to do the work.
His only son who use to help him was in prison for robbing a bank.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation: "Dear Jake, I've been very depressed lately because it looks like I won't be able to plant my peppers this year. You know how much your mother loved planting peppers this time of year, but I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.
I know if you were here my troubles would have been over.
I know you would have been happy to dig the plot for me." Love, Dad
A few days later he received a letter from his son: "Dear Dad, Don't dig up that garden! That's where I buried the THINGS!" Love, Jake
At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area looking for the THINGS.
They apologized to the old man after not finding anything and left.
The next day the old man received another letter from his son.
"Dear Dad, Happy Fathers Day! Go ahead and plant your peppers now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances." Love, Jake
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Peter Sokolowski, editor at large of Merriam-Webster, defined dad jokes for us as "an obvious or predictable pun or play on words and usually judged to be endearingly corny or unfunny."
You know, I was named after Shakespeare? Yes, my name is Scott, but I was named after Shakespeare.
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Why don't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The P is silent.
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Termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
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I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I wonder what'll come first.
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You see that man over there, he's outstanding in his field.
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Did you see that documentary about beavers? What a great dam show
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Termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
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Did you get a hair cut? No, I got them all cut!
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That cemetery is so popular, people are dying to get in!
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“Did you hear about the two cell phones who got married? The reception was terrific.”
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“The invention of the wheel was what got things rolling.”
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“Why didn’t the number 4 get into the nightclub? Because he is 2 square.”
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One particularly wince-worthy Instagram thread asked, “Tell me the most dad thing your dad has ever done.” Spoiler alert, dads: Don’t try these at home.
“Did the Macarena to a song that was not the Macarena at my brother’s wedding reception.”
“Asked for a cell phone case he could clip on his belt for Christmas.”
“When anyone turns up the thermostat, he asks, ‘Do you own stock in the gas company?’ and turns it down again.”
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Good morning everyboomie.
Happy Father's Day to all dads everywhere.
It just doesn't seem right to me that Father's Day falls on a day that there are no football games to watch.
I think I'll write to Donald Trump about changing the date. He's such a fan of the NFL.
Somebody cranked up the heat here today. Fortunately they cranked up the wind too.
I'm just tinkering around the house and trying to find my next project.
Ana do you ever get a day off??
Beau was here and went home day before yesterday.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
My hubby watches golf, baseball, bowling, football and hockey. I hate it!! And no, there are no true days off. I work three jobs, one outside the house and two on the computer from home (I'm including the PR/admin work I do as 1 of those from home jobs). So even if I'm home, I'm working. I have one boarder leaving tonight and one pup to visit midday. 
Have a wonderful day my friend!
