I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
~Steven Wright~
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More Funny Compliments You might be the primary reason for global warming.
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I bet you make babies smile.
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If there is one thing I like about you, it's that I like more than one thing about you.
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You have that kind of body that when others see it they realize they need to workout more.
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You are more unique and wonderful than the smell of a new book.
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The person who raised you deserves a medal for a job well done.
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Did you have plastic surgery to become that attractive?
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I'm not drunk, just intoxicated by you.
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Talking to you is the best part of my day, aside from when I'm sleeping and when I'm eating.
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For someone who has given birth, you look pretty good!
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You're the nothing when people ask me what's on my mind.
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You are awkward, in a cute way. Like an elevator ride, but with puppies.
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It's too bad you don't see what I see, if you did you'd smile and keep looking.
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You may not be really, really good looking. But you're pretty [blip] close.
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Just like an untrained puppy. I'd really like to take you out.
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You know what's awesome? Chocolate cake, oh and your face.
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I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
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Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.
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Our time together is like a nap, it just doesn't last long enough.
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Every day without you is like a day without my phone, I just don't know what to do with myself.
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I'm really good at people-watching. I'm so glad I can share that hobby on you.
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You make everything better. If people were more like you the world would be perfect.
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You're not lazy, it's just that the people around you are way too active.
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Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the first!
Although, it's not the first first, and it certainly won't be the last first.
By my reckoning it's about the 7th one this year alone.
I don't even want to venture a guess at how many there may have been already in human history.
That's not a good exercise for someone who flunked related math.......and that was in college.
Anyway this ain't the first time I've wished you all a happy day, and it won't be the last.
I'm gonna do it anyway.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
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Wishing everyone a Sunny Monday! 
Joe, I'm guessing you are correct it is not the first or last that we've heard of the first