I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
~Mitch Hedberg~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A fellow jumped off a high wall,
And had a most terrible fall.
He went back to bed,
With a bump on his head,
That's why you don't jump off a wall.
~~~~
Limericks I cannot compose,
With noxious smells in my nose.
But this one was easy,
I only felt queasy,
Because I was sniffing my toes.
~~~~
There once was a man from Peru,
Who had a lot of growing up to do.
He'd ring a doorbell,
then run like hell,
Until the owner shot him with a .22
~~~~
There was an odd fellow named Gus,
When traveling he made such a fuss.
He was banned from the train,
Not allowed on a plane,
And now travels only by bus.
~~~~
There once was a farmer from Leeds,
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
It soon came to pass,
He was covered with grass,
But has all the tomatoes he needs.
~~~~
A caner, exceedingly canny,
One morning remarked to his granny.
A caner can can,
Anything that he can,
But a caner can't can a can, can he?.
~~~~
There was a young woman named Bright,
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She set out one day,
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.
~~~~
There once was a man from Tibet,
Who couldn't find a cigarette.
So he smoked all his socks,
and got chicken-pocks,
and had to go to the vet.
~~~~
There once was a man named Brice,
Who had a nasty head full lice.
He said, If I eat them,
Then I'll have beat them!
And besides they taste very nice.
~~~~
There once was a child in Spain,
Who loved to play in the rain.
One day he tripped,
And broke his hip,
Now he is in serious pain.
~~~~
My neighbor came over to say,
Although not in a neighborly way,
That he'd knock me around,
If I didn't stop the sound,
Of the classical music I play.
~~~~
There once was a man stuck in a stall,
He tried to get out but would fall.
One day a man flushed,
The fat man just blushed,
And quickly ran out of the mall.
~~~~
There was a young lady of Cork,
Whose Pa made a fortune in pork.
He bought for his daughter,
A tutor who taught her,
To balance green peas on her fork.
~~~~
I'd rather have Fingers than Toes,
I'd rather have Ears than a Nose.
And as for my Hair,
I'm glad it's all there,
I'll be awfully said, when it goes.
~~~~
Good morning everyboomie.
I know everybody's bummed out because the long weekend is over, but don't worry it's ok.
I took a couple of extra vacation days, so I don't have to worry about going back to work.
In fact I took a few extra years off so I can relax enough for all of you.
I'm doing my best really.
Anyway Labor Day is only a couple of months away, so get to planning your next long weekend now so you're ready for it.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
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Happy Monday everyone! 
