Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
~Dennis Wholey~
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1. What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look! I’m about to change.
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2. Why was the little strawberry crying?
His mom was in a jam.
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3. What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeño business.
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4. Why are frogs are so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.
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5. How do you befriend a squirrel?
Just act like a nut.
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6. Have you heard about the corduroy pillow?
No? Really? It’s making headlines!
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7. Why did the jaguar eat the tightrope walker?
It was craving a well-balanced meal.
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8. What did the big bucket say to the smaller one?
Lookin’ a little pail there.
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9. Why do chicken coups always have two doors?
With four, they’d be chicken sedans.
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10. What did one hat say to the other?
You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.
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11. Why did the lifeguard kick the elephants out of the pool?
They kept dropping their trunks.
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12. What do you call a pony with a cough?
A little hoarse.
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13. What do you do if someone thinks an onion is the only food that can make them cry?
Throw a coconut at their face.
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14. What do you call a man with no arms or legs wading in a pool?
Bob.
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15. What do cows most like to read?
Cattle-logs.
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16. How does a duck buy lipstick?
She just puts it on her bill.
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17.
What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
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18. What did the cop say to his stomach?
Stop! I’ve got you under a vest!
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19. What do you call a snowman on a hot day?
Puddle.
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20. What do you do with a sick boat?
Take is to the doc already.
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21. What did the rubber band factory worker say when he was fired?
Oh, snap!
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22. What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park your car, man.
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23. What did one shark say to the other as he ate a clownfish?
Well this tastes a little funny.
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24. What do you do with epileptic lettuce?
Make a seizure salad.
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25. What did the older chimney say to the younger one?
But you’re way too young to smoke!
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26. Who do call when the ocean needs a little cleaning?
A mermaid, of course.
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27. What do you call a bee that’s having a bad hair day?
Frisbee.
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28. Which plant rules the garden?
The dande-lion.
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29. Why did the skeleton hit the party solo?
He had no body to go with him.
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30. What does the cobbler say when a cat wanders into his shop?
Shoe!
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Good morning everyboomie.
Another day, another bucket of sweat.
I really didn't allow myself to get that hot actually. Stayed inside except for going parking with Missy early on.
Making sure I get my exercise, and gaming. That's my agenda.
Missy keeps an keen watch out the window to make sure no one sneaks up on us uninvited.
I hope your day is a great one.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe