According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.
~Jay Leno ~
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Why did the computer get cold?
Because it forgot to close windows.
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Why was the computer tired when he got home?
Because he had a hard drive.
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Q: What does a baby computer call its dad?
A: Data
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What do Scientists have for snacks?
Micro-chips.
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'Ive just loaded COLIN MCRAE HELICOPTER SIMULATOR on to my PC ... but it keeps crashing ...'
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Q: What is a astronaut's favorite place on the notebook?
A: The space bar!
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I'm not anti-social. I'm just not user friendly.
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What's the difference between a computer salesman and a used-car salesman?
The used-car salesman KNOWS when he's lying.
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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "Great" he said,
"I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
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Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
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- How do two programmers make money?
- One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses
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I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
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Whats the chemical formula of compressed liquid oxygen?
O2.zip
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A computer technician says "Why even have a 3-chip Hi-Def camcorder if you can't calibrate the white balance"!!!!!!!
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A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
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The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are the FBI ...
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If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0
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Womens are like computer virus...they ENTER your life...SEARCH your pocket...SHIFT your balance ...CONTROL your life...when you become an old version DELET you from the system
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Good morning everyboomie.
What a wonderful world for a Wednesday!
We had some pretty unusual weather here Tuesday. It was sunny, hot, and humid.
We don't get much of that around here in August.
Tuesday we were about 98 degrees. The next seven days are going to be 100 degrees plus.
Not bad actually for August weather. I remember years when we had 110 degrees plus for day on end, and this is almost the first 100+ weather we've had this year.
Still....I mowed my lawn last Friday, and we had a big rain day Saturday, and I just had to try and get it mowed again before it was too high, so I walked Missy around the block at 4:00, and then I jumped on my 21 horses and mowed inside the fence. I'm breaking it up into two days.
Have a great Hump day everybody.
joe