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Frumpy Friday #1193310
08/08/19 05:47 PM
08/08/19 05:47 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

~Rita Rudner ~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~


One sunny day in February, 2016 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Obama." The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here." The old man said, "Okay", and walked away. The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Obama." The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr.Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here." The man thanked him and, again,just walked away. The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U.S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Obama." The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Obama. I've told you already that Mr. Obama is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?" The old man looked at the Marine and said,"Oh yes, I understand fully. I just love hearing it." The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow, Sir."
~~~~

Sam and Fred were out golfing, and as they approached the tee for the fifth hole, Sam turned to Fred and said, "Those two ladies on the sixth tee are too slow. Why don't you run up there and ask if we can play through?"
Fred jogged up to the sixth tee, and just before he got there, he turned and ran back to the fifth tee as fast as his legs could carry him! "I can't talk to those ladies! One of them is my wife and the other is my m*stress! You go up and ask them!"
Sam jogged up to the sixth tee, and just before he got there, he turned and ran back as fast as his legs could carry him! As he approached Fred, he exclaimed, "By golly, it's a small world, isn't it?"
~~~~

A man asks a farmer near a field, "Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train." The farmer says,"Sure, and if my bull sees you, you'll even catch the 4:11 one."
~~~~

Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"
Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"
Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"
Patrick: "What school?"
~~~~

Two Priests are walking down the street when a drunk man comes up to them. He says, to the first Priest," I'm Jesus Christ." The Priest replys," No son, you're not!" So he says to the second,"I'm Jesus Christ." He says,"No, son, you're not." The drunk says," Look I can prove it." He takes the two Preists into the bar.
The bartender takes one look at the drunk and says," JESUS CHRIST YOU'RE HERE AGAIN!!!"
~~~~

A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland.
She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked:
"Excuse me Father, could I ask a favor?"

"Of course my child, What can I do for you?"

"Here is the problem, I bought myself a new sophisticated hair
remover gadget for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have
really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they
will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under
your cassock?"

"Of course I could, my child, but you must realize that I can not
lie."

"You have such an honest face Father, I am sure they will not ask
you any questions", and she gave him the 'hair remover'.

The aircraft arrived at its destination. When the priest presented
himself to customs he was asked, "Father, do you have anything to
declare?"

"From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my
son",he replied.

Finding this reply strange, the customs officer asked, "And from the
sash down, what do you have?"

The priest replied, "I have there a marvelous little instrument
designed for use by women, but which has never been used."

Breaking out in laughter, the customs officer said, "Go ahead Father.
Next!"
~~~~

A man is talking to God.

The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."
~~~~

Englishman, Scottish man and Irishman selling bibles door to door, they have a bet who will sell the most in a day. They meet up at end of day and Englishman has sold 2, Scottish man had sold 3, but the Irishman who had a terrible stutter says hhhee hhhee hhhad sssold ssssixty. The other two asked how did he do it.
He said, "Wwwhen Iiiii nnnnnnknock aaaat thththe ddddooor I said: Do you wwwwwant tto bbbuy a bbbbbible ooooorrr shshshould Iiii jjjust rrrread it tttto yyyyou?"
~~~~

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well .........?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38" DD bust, 24" waist and 34" hips.
When she walks into a room, everybody says, "Oh My God."
~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


Another day, another 98 reasons to stay inside. grin


I'll take 98 degrees. Yesterday at 6:00 it was 102. slapforehead


Right now it's 96. penguin


I've been playing TR, BIA, and COD. yay


I just switch back and fourth to keep from getting bored of them. yes


Tomb Raider is much better this time around, I think because I followed script. woot


I more day till the next weekend is upon us. happydance


Have a happy day everyone. thumbsup


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #1193311
08/08/19 06:05 PM
08/08/19 06:05 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
T.G.I.F. Joy joy Sounds like you a had a cold front come through if you had 98 degrees rotfl

It's Friday everyone and I can smell the weekend yes

Gerry, the grande dark French roast was perfect can I have two this morning please thanks

Yes indeedy Ana ... closer to the weekend

L4L hearts

Have a wonderful day Joe Ana Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L and anyone else who pops in to say hi wave2


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #1193321
08/08/19 08:26 PM
08/08/19 08:26 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 7,402
marietta,georgia
family Offline
BAAG Specialist
family  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 7,402
marietta,georgia
watching court shows and cooking class.

Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #1193327
08/08/19 09:14 PM
08/08/19 09:14 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, glad you are enjoying your games! When it's that hot, that sounds like a great thing to do!

soot, I'm in need of the weekend!

family, enjoy! What are you making in class?

Short workday so I will get some grocery shopping done and I have a young puppy boarder coming early AM through Monday.

Have a wonderful day all!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #1193336
08/08/19 10:48 PM
08/08/19 10:48 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 7,402
marietta,georgia
family Offline
BAAG Specialist
family  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 7,402
marietta,georgia
breakfast, bacon, biscuits and gravy, eggs.

Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #1193338
08/09/19 04:30 AM
08/09/19 04:30 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, soot, family, and Ana. Joe that is sooo hot!! Soot 2 grande Dark French Roasts are waiting for you! Family that sounds delicious. Ana hope the pup behaves. Coffee and tea are ready.

summer Happy Friday everyone! summer


Gerry
Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #1193346
08/09/19 06:34 AM
08/09/19 06:34 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning, have a Super TGIF. Danish, Eggs, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #1193388
08/09/19 03:55 PM
08/09/19 03:55 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Wow, been cooking all day. Time to grab a drink and sit for a sec wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: looney4labs] #1193389
08/09/19 04:06 PM
08/09/19 04:06 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Kick back and take it easy for awhile looney. It's the weekend!


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #1193394
08/09/19 06:30 PM
08/09/19 06:30 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Getting ready to do that now Space Q. Will be cooking tomorrow as I need to make a b'day cake for g'son. He wants a red velvet cake with Spiderman on it...should be fun.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
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