It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.
~Thomas Sowell ~
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A pastor was caught stealing in the church by a member of the church. This was the conversation between them
Pastor: Blessed are those who see and don't talk
Member: For they shall receive their share. Amen
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Ok, so there this girl sleeping in religion class
The teaches asks the class "who is our lord and savior?"
The boy behind the girl pokes her with a pen and she screams jesus christ!
The teacher says "good, now who created the earth in seven days?"
The boy pokes the girl again, she lest "oh my god!"
The teacher says "good, now what did Eve say to Adam after their 11 child?
The boy pokes the girl one more time and the girl yells "if you poke me with that ting one more time im going to break it off!"
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A man, who smelled like a distillery, flopped down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and
began reading.
After a few minutes the disheveled man turned to the priest and said, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"
"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man."
"Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.
"I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading that the Pope does."
~~~~
At a funeral Father Frank was rather sad when he saw the man lying in the casket.
Bishop Michales commented, "Father did you know he was an atheist?"
And Father Frank said:
"Yes, and look at him...all dressed up and nowhere to go!"
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A Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door yesterday, so I answered it and asked if he wanted to come in he said, "Yeah, okay."
I said I'm just making a cup of tea do you want one? He said, "Yeah, sure."
I said I've just made some toast do you want a slice? He said, "Yeah, why not."
I then he sat down and I asked him, "So what now?" He said, "I don't know I've never got this far before!"
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Jenna, Jessica, and Ariana die. They all go to heaven and GOD says, "You can do whatever you want, just don't step on a pink cloud".
The first day, Jenna goes out and comes back with a ugly guy. Jessica and Ariana ask, "what happen?".Jenna says, "I stepped on a pink cloud".
The next day, Jessica goes out, she comes back with a ugly guy.Jenna and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jessica says, "I stepped on a pink cloud".
The following day Araina goes out and comes back with a HOT guy, blue eyes, thin and tall. Jenna and Jessica ask, "What happen?"
The guy says, "I stepped on a pink cloud".
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Why wasn't Jesus born in Tennessee?
They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.....
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A grandmother is watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, "Please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back." And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new. She looks up to heaven and says: "He had a hat!"
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A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he's allowed to say two words every seven years.
After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says.
They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away.
Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says.
"That's not surprising," the elders say. "You've done nothing but complain since you got here."
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A guy dies and is sent to hell. Extremely frightened because of that, he is very surprised when he arrives; beach, palm trees, sun is shining, happy people around in shorts and bikinis. Behind the next corner there are people eating great food and there's some cool music playing.
After some time of wondering, a man in an expensive suit approaches him and says: "Hi, you must be the new one. Welcome to hell, I'm the devil. As you're gonna spend eternity here, make yourself comfortable and have a drink. If anything bothers you, always feel free to ask me."
The guy still doesn't really understand what's going on, this is not what he expected. But finally he decides to inspect the area. Everywhere he goes, there are people laughing and having a great time, there's games, party and fun all around. Then he arrives at a steep cliff that divides the paradise hell from an area underneath, and there is hell as we know it: demons torturing the doomed, there's fire and the smell of brimstone.
Shocked, he runs to the devil and says "Devil, how can that be? Here, we have the sweet eternity and down there people are tortured and burned! How can that be?!"
The devil laughs and says "Oh, that. Those are the Catholics - they want it that way."
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He had a hat......
.....he had a hat......Oh man!
Good morning everyboomie.
Happy Sumday morning!
I think it's Sumday anyway.
I always said some day I'd like to have a diner where I can stand on a soap dish and do a bunch of talking without saying anything.
Last night I went to my sisters to visit. Tonight I'm doing the entertaining.
Beau is here.
I have big plans for sumday. I'm gaming all day.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
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Have a Happy Sunday everyone! 
It's a good feeling to actually be caught up!
How are you today? We are just home from Outback where we ate our fill whilst celebrating grandson's birthday 