As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
~Buddy Hackett ~
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Johnny asked his grandma how old she was. Grandma answered, "39 and holding." Johnny thought for a moment and then said, "How old would you be if you let go?"
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An old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased. The preacher went on about “what an honest man” he was, and “what a loving husband and kind father” he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, “Go up there and take a look in the coffin. See if that's your pa in there.”
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Worried because they hadn't heard anything for days from the widow in the neighboring apartment, Mrs. Silver said to her son, "Timmy, would you go next door and see how old Mrs. Kirkland is?" A few minutes later, Timmy returned. "Well," asked Mrs. Silver, "is she all right?" "She's fine, except that she's pissed at you." "At me?" the woman exclaimed. "Whatever for?" "She said 'It's none of your business how old she is,'" snickered Timmy.
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A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the elderly driver turned and said, "Look son, don't ever do that again. You scared the living [blip] out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. I just retired and today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 45 years."
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A man walks into his doctor's office and sits down in the waiting room. While he is waiting his turn to be seen, an acquaintance walks in and sits down next to him. The newcomer asks "W w what are yyy you ddd doing here Fred?" The man replies, " I am waiting to see the doctor." "W wwhy dd do yyy you wwant to sss see hhim?" The man replies, "Well, if you must know, I have a prostate problem. " A pp prostate ppp problem, wwhat's ttthat?" "Well, if you must know. I pee like you talk."
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Overheard in a busy clinic as a receptionist spoke to an obviously hard-of-hearing patient:" No Mrs Smith, not the HEARSE, I'm sending the NURSE!"
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You know how important exercise is, as we grow older. Here are a few suggestions. I start by standing outside behind the house and, with a five pound potato sack in each hand, extend my arms straight out to my sides and hold them there as long as I can. After a few weeks I moved up to 10 pound potato sacks, then 20 pound potato sacks and finally I got to where I could lift a 50 pound potato sack in each hand and hold my arms straight out for more than a full minute! Next, I started putting a few potatoes in the sacks, but I would caution you not to overdo it at this level.
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A sweet grandmother telephoned Mount Sinai Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator said "I'll be glad to help, Dear. What's the name and room number?" The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, "Holly Finkel, room 302." The Operator replied, "Let me check. Oh, good news. Her records say that Holly is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged Tuesday." The Grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you for the good news." The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Holly your daughter?" The Grandmother said, "No, I'm Holly Finkel in 302. No one around here tells me squat!"
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Good morning everyboomie
Well looky here, it's
FRIDAY!! 
Time to let my hair down and party. Not hard to do. My hair is only a half inch to begin with.
Partying is another story. I drink a lot of Piña coladas.
Made with Milk of Magnesia.
I looked at our forecast and could not believe what it said. 99 degrees today, and 91 degrees the next two days. Woo Hoo!!
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Have a Super Friday all! 
They all do appreciate food and a clean litter box even if they don't want petting and playtime. It makes it easier to leave if they are aloof. 