‘Buddha was asked, “What have you gained from meditation?” He replied, “Nothing!” However, Buddha said, let me tell you what I lost:Anger, Anxiety, Depression,
Insecurity, Fear of Old, Age and Death.”‘
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Irish Racing Story
Racing is a national pastime, I soon got accustomed to the Reverend fathers, rushing past me to get a bet on at the race track. My mate Trev spotted one Reverend father making a big fuss of a horse in the parade ring. Amazingly the horse went on to win the next race easily.
We took great interest when we saw the same Reverend father bless another horse in the next race, blow me, this horse won too. Well we were hot on the Reverend father's coat tails for the third race and as soon as he patted a horse called Foxy Loxy, we raced off to get the best odds we could with the bookies.
Foxy Loxy was well up with the pace on the first circuit, but down the back straight for the second time, Foxy Loxy dropped to the rear. Then to our chagrin it dropped dead by the water jump.
When we went back to the bar we fell into conversation with a local, and told him the tale of the Reverend father. 'Be gora' he said, 'you have to learn the difference between when Reverend Murphy is blessing a horse and when he is giving it the last rites' .
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O'Shaugnessy needs time off -
Soon after O'Shaugnessy clocked in for work, the foreman called him over and told him that he had a phone call in the front office.
When O'Shaugnessy returned, he had a mournful expression on his face and his head hung low. His foreman noticed and asked if it was bad news. 'To be shure it was, Boss', he replied, 'I just found out that my mother died earlier this morning.'
'Gosh, that's awful, 'replied the foreman, 'Do you want the rest of the day off?'
'No', replied O'Shaugnessy. 'I'll finish the day out.'
About an hour later, the foreman returned to inform him that there was another phone call for him in the office. This time when O'Shaugnessy returned he looked twice as glum, and the foreman asked if everything was alright.
'Bejeezuz Boss, its even worse news. That was my brother, and his mother died today too!'
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Never Felt Better -
In a court in Killarney, deep in Munster, Ireland, this conversation is reported to have taken place:
Lawyer: 'At the scene of the accident, Mr O'Shea, did you tell the Garda officer that you had never felt better in your life?'
O'Shea the farmer: 'That's right, sir.'
Lawyer: 'Well then, Mr O'Shea, how is it that you are now claiming you were seriously injured when my client's car hit your cart?'
O'Shea the farmer: 'When the Garda arrived, he went over to my horse, who had a broken leg, and shot him. Then he went over to Darcy, my dog, who was badly hurt, and shot him.
Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are you feeling?' I just thought under the circumstances, it was a wise choice of words to say: 'I've never felt better in my life.'
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A Double Lesson
A carload of hunters, on holiday, were looking for a place to hunt, pulled into a farmer's yard in County Waterford, Ireland. The driver, Brannagh, went up to the farmhouse to ask permission to hunt on the farmer's land.
The old farmer said, 'Sure you can hunt, but would you be doing me a favour? That old donkey standing over there is 20 years old and sick with cancer, but I don't have the heart to kill her. Would you do it for me?'
Brannagh replied, 'Of course I will,' and strolled back to the car.
While walking back, however, Brannagh decided to play a trick on his hunting friends. He got into the car and when they asked if the farmer had said if it was alright, he said, 'No, we can't hunt here, but I'm going to teach that old fellow a lesson he won't forget.'
With that, the Irishman rolled down his window, stuck his gun out and shot the donkey. As he shouted, 'To be sure, that will teach him,' a second shot rang out from the passenger side and one of his hunting mates yelled, 'And me, begorrah, I got the cow.'
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Two Heads are Better Than One
An American tourist travelling in County Clare came across a little antique shop in which he was lucky enough to pick up, for a mere 200 Irish punts ($350), the skull of Brian Boru*.
Included in the price was a certificate of the skull's authenticity, signed by Brian Boru himself. Joke Brian Boru Skull
and traditions, especially being from
Fifteen years later the tourist returned to Ireland and asked the man from Clare, who owned the antique shop, if he had any more bargains.
'I've got the very thing for you, 'said the shopkeeper, 'It's the genuine skull of Brian Boru.'
'You cheat, 'exploded the American, 'You sold me that fifteen years ago, 'and producing the skull added loudly, 'Look, they're not even the same size.'
'You have got it wrong,' opined the seller, 'This is the skull of Brian Boru when he was a lad.'
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Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the weekend!
The storms finally reached us here. It's been rumbling and raining all afternoon.
I guess that means I'll be mowing the yard yet again one more time............at least.
So I've been hiding under a blanket with Missy all afternoon, hiding from the rumble monster.
Not sure if we ever even hit the 80s today.
I'm ok with that.
The jury is still out on this computer. So far almost none of the games that I installed on it will run, and these are all games that should run on windows 10.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
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Wishing all Boomers a Great Saturday! 
