“So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future.” –

~Christopher McCandless~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


My girlfriend said she slept with 5 people before we met.

I wouldn’t mind but I was only 20 minutes late.
~~

Personally, I don’t believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros.

There needs to be a balance.

A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.
~~

My wife sighed, “Why does everything have to be a game with you?”

I replied, “An excellent question, my dear. But next time, please use the buzzer!”
~~

Intelligence is the first thing I look for in a woman…

Because if she doesn’t have that, I may just have a chance.
~~

My buddy asked if he could crash on my couch tonight.

I had to explain to him that I was married now and that’s where I sleep.
~~

My girlfriend and I went on our 9th date to see the new Batman film.

Our dates can be summarized as follows: Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMAN!
~~

My wife says I’m addicted to auctions but she’s wrong.

I stopped after going once… going twice…
~~

My wife said to me, “You’re shirtless and also covered in… oil?”

I said, “Well, you’re always saying I never glisten.”

My wife said, “Listen! You never listen!”
~~

The girl I like said she’d go out with me if I knew a six letter word that’s a synonym for “calm”.

I said, “It’s sedate.”
~~

My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives.

I said, “No, I don’t hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine.”
~~

My wife screamed in pain during labor so I asked, “What’s wrong?”.

She screamed. “These contractions are going to kill me!!”

“I am sorry, honey,” I replied. “What is wrong?”
~~

While my wife was in labor I read her jokes to distract her from the pain, but she didn’t seem amused.

It must have been the delivery.
~~

I’ve started dating a one-legged girl who works at a brewery.

She’s in charge of the hops.
~~

The last time I was someone’s type …

I was donating blood.
~~

My wife has a whale tattooed on her butt.

It used to be a dolphin.
~~

I joined a gym and said to the trainer, “I want to impress beautiful girls, which machine should I use?”

He said, “Try the ATM outside”.
~~

I’m seriously thinking about re-marrying my ex-wife…

But I’m pretty sure she’ll figure out I’m just after my money.
~~

I just got a bike for my wife.

A good trade I thought.
~~

I could never cheat in a relationship…

That would require two people to find me attractive.
~~

My wife said she was leaving me because “I can’t do anything right when it comes to housework.”

Selfish woman, it took me hours to mop that carpet.
~~

Good morning everyboomie.


It's FRIDAY!!!


I'm wondering what kind of weather some of you are having up North of us.


That would be almost all of you.


We we're almost 90 today, but supposed to drop all the way down to 70 for Friday.


We started this morning with thunderstorms at about 5:00, then it was just cloudy and warm and windy all day. It felt like Indian Summer.


Now the thunderstorms are back, and Missy is looking pretty uneasy.


I'm just hoping I don't lose my internet.


I'll be gaming either way.


Have a happy day everyone.


joe

watching court shows and cooking class.

Joe, we are going below freezing tomorrow night. Trade you!

family, enjoy! What are you cooking?

connie, sounds like they have it all planned out.

L4L, did you get the plumbing sorted?

soot, we made it to Friday!

SpaceQ, have a great day!

Gerry, I'll take a large dark roast my self!

Ana

Good Morning Joe, family, Ana, soot, Connie and everyone. Joe we've had a coastal storm lingering over us for 3 days bringing wind rain and cold air. We lost power for 3 hours yesterday afternoon. Family enjoy your shows. Ana and soot got a large fresh dark roast ready for you both. Enjoy! Connie hope all goes well with the pre admission tests today. Coffee and tea are ready.

Have a Nice Day everyone!

Good morning, have a Great TGIF. Going to see the the other doctor today. Lunch with a friend, and Dancing and Karaoke tonight at Hacienda Village. Danish, Eggs, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC.

Fantastic Friday ya'll

Finally cool enough to have windows and doors open in the morning. Have to close them around noon, but hey, it's progress.

Ana, yes, plumbers came and went and now I have water in my bathroom sink again

Have a great weekend ya'll

Yes we did Ana

Joe...did you keep your internet?

Family, hope your shows were entertaining

Gerry, the coffee hit the spot with a danish from Connie

I am ready for a 3-day weekend

Good night Boomers.