Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different to this one?
~Bob Monkhouse~
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With absolutely no offense intended, here's a collection of our favorite funny redneck jokes...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder:
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
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This guy walks into a bar in Redneck county and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised and the bartender looks around and says: "You ain't from around here, are ya... where ya from, boy?"
The guy says, "I'm from England."
The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in England?"
The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... now just what th' hell is a taxidermist?"
The guy says, "I mount animals."
The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's okay boys, he's one of us!"
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How do you know the toothbrush was invented by a Redneck?
Anyone else would have called it a 'teethbrush'.
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Two rednecks go on a fishing trip.
They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods; they spend a fortune.
The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"
The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
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What do Rednecks call duct tape?
Chrome.
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Two young rednecks were looking at a Sears catalogue and admiring the models.
Earl says to the Bubba, "Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalogue?"
Bubba replies, "Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!"
Earl says, with wide eyes, "Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one."
Bubba smiles and pats him on the back, "Good idea! Order one and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalogue, I'll get one too."
Three weeks later, Bubba asks his friend Earl, "Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalogue?"
Earl replies, "No, but it shouldn't be long now. I got her clothes yesterday!"
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How can you tell if a Redneck is married?
There are tobacco spit stains on both sides of his pickup truck.
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What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies?
Hey y'all... Watch this!
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At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him.
"Well," Bubba began, "We wuz havin' a good time drinking, when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, 'Hey, der ya fellows wanna go hunting?'"
"And then what happened?" the officer interrupted.
"From what I remember," Bubba said, "I stood up and said, 'Sure, I'm game.'"
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Why do Rednecks go to movies in groups of 18 or more?
17 and under are not admitted.
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Why do birds fly over trailer parks upside down?
There's nothing worth crapping on.
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What are the only two seasons a Redneck can name?
Football and construction.
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Good morning everyboomie.
I hope you're all ready to start a new week.
Monday's just a nuther day right?
Sunday was another near perfect day here. I enjoyed the sunshine with mild temps.
Monday will be mild, but not so sunny.
Then Tuesday and Wednesday are going back down in the 50s and rainy.
Lot's of good football games today. I'm still watching the Texans right now.
Have a happy day everyone.
Ana I have no idea what you're talking about.
joe
acebook
witter
Happy Monday all! 
Have a Great Day Boomers! 
