I love the smell of juice boxes in the morning.
~ Robert Duvall~
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Best Anti Jokes
I can still remember my Grandpa's last words before he kicked the bucket.
He said, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
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What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
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What has four fingers and a thumb and looks human?
A severed hand.
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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?
An ambulance, due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.
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What's green and has wheels?
Grass. I lied about the wheels.
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What did one Japanese man say to the other?
I've no idea, I don't speak Japanese.
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Why are people like drums?
Hit them with a stick and they make a noise.
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Take your age and add five years to it...
That's your age in five years.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A deer. The absence of eyes doesn't change the species.
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What did the muffin say to the tin can?
Nothing, muffins can't talk.
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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
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Why are hamsters like cigarettes?
They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.
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What starts with "e", ends with "e" and only has one letter in it?
e.
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You know what's really odd?
Numbers that aren't divisible by two.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?
He didn't. There was a lot of traffic so he thought better of it.
~
A visibly tired and stressed guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender asks, "Long day?"
"No, all days are 24 hours long," the guy replies, amazed at the bartender's lack of education.
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What do you call one hundred rabbits walking backwards?
Anything you like, they can't understand you.
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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a llama?
An animal abuse lawsuit.
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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes?
Because he only uses the finest ingredients.
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How do you get a clown off a swing?
Hit him with an axe.
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What's red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.
~
Good morning everyboomie.
Hump Day already? How about that.
Had an awesome Tuesday. We went to the sod farm. It couldn't have been a better day for it, although it was heavily overcast with all those heavy clouds.
The only bare ground I could find was the gopher mounds. I didn't find any points, but I did find a nice scraper in one of those mounds.
We have more rain coming for Wednesday and Thursday.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
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