Joe's Diner February 15th
#1210097
02/15/20 08:08 PM
02/15/20 08:08 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073 Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1
OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
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OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
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I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. ~ Marie Corelli ~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “What the heck is going on here?” said an angry man storming into the florist shop. “I just lost one of my main clients and it’s your fault!” “Why don’t you calm down a bit” said the lady behind the counter, “and let us know what exactly happened.” “Well,” said the man “My biggest client moved to a new location, and to be nice I called you guys up and asked you to send him some flowers with a note saying “congratulations on your new location.” He calls me up and says to me “what’s the big deal with sending me a note that says “rest in peace?!” “Oh no!” she sighed, “now I know why I got a nasty message from the funeral parlor!” ~~~~ Eddy was just a regular guy. Except for the fact that he was an only child and the fact that his billionaire father was breathing his last. Since Eddy was a soon to be billionaire it only made sense that he should have a woman to share his riches with. Eddy approached his childhood crush. “Hey Sandra, I may look like a regular guy, but I’m soon gonna be a billionaire! Do you wanna come home with me?” “Sure thing” Sandra replied, “I would love to come home with you.” And that’s the story how Sandra became Eddie’s Stepmother. ~~~~ Old Max had started out as a diamond cutter, and through hard work and good judgement he finally became the owner of a National chain of jewelry stores. He was wealthy indeed. But now, he lay dying, so he called his wife to his side. “Hannah,” he began, “I always meant to draw up a will but somehow I never got around to it. So pay close to attention to my last wishes.” “Yes, Max, I am listening,” Hannah wept. “Whatever you want, it will be done.” “First of all, the business I leave to Harry.” “Oh, no, Max, not to Harry!” his wife protested. “With Harry it’s girl-girls-girls! Leave the business to Jerome. He’s at least reliable and has a good head for figures.” “Alright, let it be Jerome,” sighed the dying man. “To Harry I leave the stocks and bonds.” “Better you should leave me the stocks and bonds. I would take care he doesn’t squander it on women or cards.” “Very well, in your name I leave the securities." "The summer house I leave to our sweet Minnie.” “Minnie!” exclaimed his wife. “What does Minnie need with another summer house? Her husband bought her one last year? Give it to Anna – her husband is a poor man. After all she’s our flesh and blood too.” “Fine! Anna gets the summer house,” he sighed resignedly. “And to our youngest Abe, I leave the car and the warehouses.” “But Abe already has 2 cars. What does he need with another one? And he wants to be a musician – what would he do with warehouses? Take my advice and give them to Louis.” That did it! Old Max had taken all he could of his wife’s interference. Raising himself off the pillow and summoning his last ounce of strength, he snapped, “Hannah, you are a good women and have been a fine wife and mother. But listen – who the hell is dying around here – you or me?” ~~~~ Jim grabbed his suitcase off the luggage carousel and headed outside to hail a taxi. A taxi promptly picked him up and they were on there way. Twenty minutes into the ride Jim had a question for the taxi driver, “Excuse me sir” said Jim tapping the driver on the shoulder. “AHHHH HHH” screamed the taxi driver swerving the taxi across three lanes of traffic finally stopping the car on the opposite shoulder. “What the heck was that all about?” demanded Jim thoroughly shaken. “I’m sorry,” said the taxi driver, wiping his brow, “this is my first day on this job, I’ve been driving a hearse for the last ten years!” ~~~~ Anne was on her deathbed breathing her last. “Anne”, said Anne’s husband Jim. “Please, please,tell me, is there anything I can do for you?” “Well” croaked Anne, “There is something. After I die, it would mean so much to me if you would marry my best friend Sandra.” “You have nothing to worry about Anne” said Jim taking her hand, “I’ve been thinking about that for a long while now already.” ~~~~ Edward was lying on his deathbed and the family was taking turns spending time with him. As he was speaking to his young granddaughter Emily, Edward suddenly smelled an all too familiar smell. Why it was his favorite – apple pie! His wife Sandy must have been baking it for him to enjoy this one last time. “Emily dear,” asked Edward. “Would you please go ask Grandma for a slice of that Apple Pie? It’s smells so delicious!” Emily ran off to fulfill her dying Grandfather’s last wish. A moment later, Emily returned empty handed. “Where’s my pie?” questioned Edward. “Grandma said it’s not for you” responded Emily, “it’s for the funeral”. ~~~~ My old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, “You’re next!” After a while that got old, so I figured out how to stop them. I started doing the same thing to them at funerals! ~~~~ Hello everybody. I got a new diner here for you to start on. Thought you might be ready to enjoy a few new jokes. I hope the next week is a good one for all Gameboomers. Have a happy week everyone. joe
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.
William Butler Yeats
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Re: Joe's Diner February 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1210098
02/15/20 08:21 PM
02/15/20 08:21 PM
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270 In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
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The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
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Thanks for ringing in a new week for us, Joe! Hope your weather warms up and you can go out and enjoy! Have a great day all! I am going to an indoor water park with my grandson.
Don't feed the Trolls
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Re: Joe's Diner February 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1210136
02/16/20 06:37 AM
02/16/20 06:37 AM
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,378 Scotland
MsMercury
Adept Boomer
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Adept Boomer
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,378
Scotland
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Hello Boomers, hope you are all well and having a super Sunday! Joe, the start of another new week already! Time's a-flyin'! Thanks for opening the diner and for the jokes. Ana, have fun with your Grandson! Enjoy the sports, family. Gerry, great to see you! Hope you are back to normal now. Got some sun peekin' through the clouds today finally but still very windy. We've had two storms back to back in the past two weeks so things have been pretty nasty with galeforce winds and very heavy rain. Enjoy the rest of Sunday, guys! Much love, Mary
"It's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts." I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'!
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Re: Joe's Diner February 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1210143
02/16/20 08:05 AM
02/16/20 08:05 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020 winter springs fl.
connie
Graduate Boomer
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Graduate Boomer
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
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Good morning, have a Lovely Sunday. Breakfast out this morning. Having friends over this evening. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, French Toast, and Toast in the NC.
Connie
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Re: Joe's Diner February 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1210195
02/16/20 07:02 PM
02/16/20 07:02 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073 Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1
OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
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OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
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Hello everyone. Hope you're having a great weekend. Ana an indoor water park sounds great. I'll bet your wee grandson had a blast. Family are you watching any of the XFL football games? I watched the Dallas and LA teams play today. I enjoyed still having Pro Football to watch. Dallas won. Gerry thank you. I hope you get that warm sunshine and Spring temps soon. Whoa Mary! Sounds like the kind of weather I like to watch....on TV. Stay safe. Connie I'm only eating two meals a day, but your eggs and bacon/sausage and hash browns and gravy are the highlight of my day. Space Quest you're very welcome. Have a great evening. Today we had nothing but sunshine and warm all day. Got up to 72 degrees. Still 70 right now, and I didn't waist a minute getting out and enjoying it. After taking Missy to the park, I came back and did my exercises workout. After that I grabbed my ladder and shears and started trimming the trees and bushes next to my house. That wore me out. After lunch I had to rest and cool down. After that I walked Missy again, and then I cut my hair and took my shower. Tomorrow's going to be around 70 degrees again. Not sure what I'll do. I may go to the creek......or the sod farm. Enjoy your week everyone. joe
Last edited by gymcandy1; 02/16/20 07:04 PM.
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.
William Butler Yeats
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Re: Joe's Diner February 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1210267
02/17/20 05:34 PM
02/17/20 05:34 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661 Alabama
soot
Puzzled Moderator
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Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
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Wow, is it time for a new week already? Whoa! Mmmmm ... coffee smells wonderful Gerry Have fun at Eagles tonight Connie Mary, hope your weekend was good too! Cloudy gray day today Ana, I'm sure you guys had fun at the park Hey Ho manXman Family and SQF Happy Monday everybody ... must be time to go back to work Have a great evening
Dan ... To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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Re: Joe's Diner February 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1210320
02/18/20 07:17 AM
02/18/20 07:17 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020 winter springs fl.
connie
Graduate Boomer
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Graduate Boomer
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
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Good morning, lunch and Netflix with a friend. Dinner and karaoke tonight at 8-8 Panda. Hot, Hot, Hot, here, near 90. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, and Toast in the NC.
Connie
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Re: Joe's Diner February 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1210401
02/18/20 10:40 PM
02/18/20 10:40 PM
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270 In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
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The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
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My washer broke on Sunday and for someone that does laundry daily, it's killing me. My new washer and dryer aren't coming till Saturday. It's been a busy week, but I am getting lots done. That always feels good! Hope everyone is having a great week! Ana
Don't feed the Trolls
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Re: Joe's Diner February 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1210414
02/19/20 06:13 AM
02/19/20 06:13 AM
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,378 Scotland
MsMercury
Adept Boomer
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Adept Boomer
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,378
Scotland
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Hello Boomers, hope you are all well and having a wonderful Wednesday! Sorry about your washer Ana, we had to replace ours a few weeks ago. Have fun with your friend Connie! Enjoy your shows family. We have a nice calm day here weatherwise but that has to change tomorrow when it will be back to heavy rain. At least the wind has died down thank goodness! Had an appt this morning at the diabetic eye clinic and everything went well so that's it for another year. Enjoy the rest of your day guys! Much love, Mary
"It's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts." I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'!
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Re: Joe's Diner February 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1210440
02/19/20 09:55 AM
02/19/20 09:55 AM
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905 Alabama
looney4labs
Sonic Boomer
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Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
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Happy Wednesday ya'll Rain is coming back to find us for the rest of the week. I'm off to adventure in Azeroth for a bit. Ya'll have a great day!
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras
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Re: Joe's Diner February 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1210466
02/19/20 07:23 PM
02/19/20 07:23 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661 Alabama
soot
Puzzled Moderator
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Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
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Oh my goodness Ana ... a broke washer is a no-go for normal home operations!!!! Great news Ms Mary ... sleep well and we'll see you later Connie, hope you have fun at Eagles tonight Good to see you manXman and Family Yes, a wet week and long days for me ... I am exhausted and it's only Wednesday Good night all
Dan ... To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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Re: Joe's Diner February 15th
[Re: BrownEyedTigre]
#1210571
02/20/20 07:42 PM
02/20/20 07:42 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073 Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1
OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
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OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
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Hello everyone. Monday I had Friday on my mind, and here it is. Not entirely sure just why I had Friday on my mind on Monday. I didn't even know that my friend was bringing Beau out to stay with us tomorrow. It's been chilly all week. Not nasty, but very cool, and today that wind was blowing straight out of the North @ 15mph, while Missy and I walked around the park. It chilled my bones for sure. About froze my freckles off. Yesterday I went to Lowe's and Walmart, and came back home and did a couple of hours trimming hedges, and cutting down a cedar tree in the back yard that the bag worms killed. I never liked it anyway. With the weekend upon us, I wish everyone a fantastic one. joe
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.
William Butler Yeats
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Re: Joe's Diner February 15th
[Re: connie]
#1210630
02/21/20 10:42 AM
02/21/20 10:42 AM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073 Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1
OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
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OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
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Good morning everybody. We have abundant sunshine this morning Woo Hoo! It was 26 degrees when I got up, so we have a ways to go before I want to go to the park with the pups. Gerry keep the coffee coming. Hot coffee on a cold morning is so special. Thank you!! Connie thanks again for my eggs and sausage and hashbrowns. Joe's diner wouldn't be the same without them. Manxman I hope your day is a great one. Any special plans? Ana when are your washer and dryer arriving? Today? L4L and Soot how is you guys' weather now. Still cool? Mary has your weather calmed down? I hope so. Have a great day Space Quest Fan and everyboomie. joe
Last edited by gymcandy1; 02/21/20 10:43 AM.
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.
William Butler Yeats
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Re: Joe's Diner February 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1210654
02/21/20 12:52 PM
02/21/20 12:52 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661 Alabama
soot
Puzzled Moderator
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Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
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Hello all ... yes, sad news this morning for us as we took Skywalker to the Rainbow Bridge ... we're gonna really miss him Hey Joe, yes the temp dropped 30 degrees from yesterday, but we do have sunshine so that's nice Gerry, gonna need the coffee for sure Connie, chilly windy here too ... bacon and grits in the NC will be nice Hey Ho manXman and Family Have a great T.G.I.F. everyone
Dan ... To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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Re: Joe's Diner February 15th
[Re: Kaki's Sister]
#1210692
02/21/20 08:17 PM
02/21/20 08:17 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073 Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1
OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
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OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
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L4L and Soot I am so so sorry for your loss. joe
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.
William Butler Yeats
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Re: Joe's Diner February 15th
[Re: soot]
#1210720
02/22/20 10:04 AM
02/22/20 10:04 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026 Unionville
manxman
Sonic Boomer
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Sonic Boomer
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
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Soot, I'm sorry that you lost Skywalker. It is always a huge loss to lose a friend for the family. You have so many great memories to remember him. My condolences to your family.
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
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Re: Joe's Diner February 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1210784
02/23/20 06:59 AM
02/23/20 06:59 AM
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,378 Scotland
MsMercury
Adept Boomer
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Adept Boomer
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,378
Scotland
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Hello Boomers, I hope you are all well and having a peaceful Sunday! Looney and soot, I'm so sorry to read you lost Skywalker. Heartbroken for you. Much love and hugs to you both. Joe, unfortunately our weather is still brutal! Very strong winds, sleet and now thunder added to the mix. Snow warnings out for Monday. Hopefully things will settle down soon! Had a wee hiccup healthwise. Got a phone call from the hospital last week to inform me that the blood tests I had done were showing my numbers were down again so I had to go in for an iron infusion to be followed by another one this coming Thursday. Explains why I've been feeling so tired recently but this is the second time in six months that I've needed this done. They've ruled out internal bleeding so goodness knows what's causing it. Anyway, I should start to feel the benefits in 3-4 weeks. A little laundry on the to do list for today but not a lot else going on. Have a good Sunday guys! Much love, Mary
"It's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts." I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'!
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Re: Joe's Diner February 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1210786
02/23/20 08:05 AM
02/23/20 08:05 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020 winter springs fl.
connie
Graduate Boomer
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Graduate Boomer
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
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Good morning, breakfast out. Mary, prayers you are feeling better soon. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, French Toast, and Toast in the NC.
Connie
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Re: Joe's Diner February 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1210791
02/23/20 09:04 AM
02/23/20 09:04 AM
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270 In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
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The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
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Happy Sunday everyone! I had a really full week and accomplished many things off my checklist. Feels good! My new washer and dryer came yesterday but now the dryer vent is clogged on the roof. I was able to do laundry but it wouldn't dry. Always something! Need to borrow a ladder today and get up and unclog it. Nuggets favorite boarder is here and they are happy campers. We have been playing Pet Tetris in bed and I lost. I feel like a pretzel. soot and L4L, My heart is heavy for you. It gets harder and harder the more I lose. I was crying the other day just because I need to give up a client that I've grown attached to. They just find their way into your heart. Have a happy day all!
Don't feed the Trolls
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