Joe's Diner March 1st
#1211386
03/01/20 06:39 PM
03/01/20 06:39 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073 Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1
OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
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OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
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Women are cursed, and men are the proof. ~ Roseanne Barr ~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Doctor to patient: "Your x-ray showed a broken rib, but we fixed it with Photoshop. " ~~~~ Harry was thrilled. After seeing a psychologist for over three years, he was finally pronounced free to go. “Wow this is so exciting you mean I am finally cured?!” Questioned Harry excitedly, “You mean I no longer have an inferiority complex!” “Well” said the psychologist slowly, “to be perfectly honest with you I don’t think you ever had an inferiority complex. After much thought I have come to a conclusion. I think you really are inferior!” ~~~~ Brian’s stress level was at unsurpassed levels. His wife Maggie was in labor and Brian was sure it was time to head to the hospital. Breathing heavily, Brian grabbed the phone and called the doctor. “MY WIFE, SHE’S READY, SHOULD WE COME?” The doctor tried to relax the poor fellow, “just try to relax, now tell me how much time elapses between the contractions?” “SHIRLEY!” Brian screamed on the top of his lungs, “HOW MUCH TIME IN BETWEEN THE CONTRACTIONS? TEN MINUTES? OK, TEN MINUTES IN BETWEEN!” “And is this her first child?” Questioned the doctor. “NO YOU NITWIT, THIS IS HER HUSBAND!” ~~~~ Bob was in a terrible motorcycle accident and his legs weren’t in great shape, to say the least. After a couple of weeks of therapy, it soon became clear to the Doctor that they were just pushing off the inevitable. Due however, to Bob’s frail condition, the Doctor was afraid to give him the bad news. Instead, he gave the sorry job to Bob’s wife of 40 years, hoping that she would know how to break the bad news to him ever so slowly and gently. “Honey”, said Bob’s wife Eva the next morning, “I’ve got good news and bad news, which one would you like to hear first?” Bob, always in a morbid state, responded in his usual grumpy voice, “what do I care? Just give me the bad news!” “Well dear,” said Eva cupping Bob’s hand with her two hands, “I hate to have to tell you this, but it seems like your legs are going to have to be taken off.” Bob, barely able to hold his voice from cracking croaked out, “Eva, what’s the good news?” “The good news” said Eva happily, “is that that the gardener that was in here just before, said he's interested in buying your slippers !” ~~~~ “I hate to have to tell you this”, said the Doctor in a sad compassionate voice, “but you have been unfortunately been diagnosed with a highly contagious disease, we will have to quarantine you and you’ll only be fed cheese and bologna or pizza.” “That’s terrible!” Said the distraught young man, quickly sitting down before he could faint. “I don’t know if I can handle being in quarantine…and the cheese and bologna or pizza diet… What’s with that anyway? I’ve never heard of such a diet before!” “It’s not exactly a diet per say”, responded the Doctor, “it’s just the only food that will fit under the door!” ~~~~ My four year old daughter had a terrible case of the flu, she was achy, had a high fever, and was terribly hoarse. After waiting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office for over an hour we were finally admitted to see the Doctor. After the usual routine of listening to her breathing and checking her ears, the Doctor looked my daughter in the eye and said, “so what would you say is bothering you the most?” Without skipping a beat my daughter promptly answered, “Billy, he always breaks my toys!” ~~~~ A lady came in for a routine physical at the doctor’s office . “Here”, said the nurse, handing her a urine specimen container. “The bathroom is over there on your right. The doctor will be with you in a few minutes.” A few minutes later the lady came out of the bathroom with an empty container and a relieved look on her face. “Thanks! But they had a toilet in there, so I didn’t need this after all!” ~~~~ Due to a job transfer, Brian moved from his hometown to New York City. Being that he had a very comprehensive health history, he brought along all of his medical paperwork, when it came time for his first check up with his new Doctor. After browsing through the extensive medical history, the Doctor stared at Brian for a few moments and said, ” Well there’s one thing I can say for certain, you sure look better in person than you do on paper!” ~~~~ Did you here about the guy who lost his whole left side? He’s alright now! Get it?? All Right..... ~~~~ Brian, one of the worlds greatest hypochondriacs, bumped into his Dr. one day at the supermarket. “Doc!” Brian exclaimed, “I’ve been meaning to tell you, remember those voices I kept on hearing in my head? I haven’t heard them in over a week!” “Wow! What wonderful news Brian! I’m so happy for you!” his Dr. exclaimed. “Wonderful?” asked a dismal looking Brian. “What's wonderful about it? I’m losing my hearing!!! ~~~~ Doctor: “I am not exactly sure of the cause. I think it could be due to alcohol.” Patient: “That’s OK. I will come back when you are sober.” ~~~~ Sally walked in to the Dentist office to make an appointment. “How much do you charge to pull out a tooth?” She asked.” “It’s $130”, was the prompt reply. “$130!” gasped Sally, that’s ridiculous! There must be a way for you to go cheaper.” “Well,” said the Dentist thoughtfully, I suppose if we don’t numb it, we could knock off $30.” “Only $30?,” countered Sally, “that’s still $100, you’ve got to make it cheaper.” “Well,” said the Dentist after a long pause, “I suppose if we take it out with a wrench we could knock it down to $50.” “Perfect”, said Sally happily. “I would like to make an appointment for next Tuesday, for my husband Jack.” ~~~~ Good morning everyboomie and welcome to March!! You can sure tell it's March here. The wind is already blowing with gale force nearly every day. Also our temperatures are climbing pretty fast. I'm just warning you so you can get ready to start hearing me complain long and loud about the heat. Anyway I think we can get through March before we start seeing a lot of 80 degree days. Enjoy your new diner everyone, and have a happy week. joe
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.
William Butler Yeats
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Re: Joe's Diner March 1st
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1211400
03/01/20 09:18 PM
03/01/20 09:18 PM
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,341 In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
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The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,341
In the Naughty Corner
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Joe, the wind was insane today here but it reached 59 degrees! We enjoyed plenty of outdoor time! It will be in the 40's this week so I'm a happy camper! family, enjoy! Boarders are all home again and I will have more room on the bed tonight. Have a happy day all! Ana
Don't feed the Trolls
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Re: Joe's Diner March 1st
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1211406
03/01/20 09:44 PM
03/01/20 09:44 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,816 Alabama
soot
Puzzled Moderator
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Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,816
Alabama
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Hey Ho Joe ... Happy March to you too It was cool here today and yes I know the heat is coming back but I can wait Family ... enjoy your shows Ana ... you are a very nice boarder to open bed space I miss our bed warmer Connie and Gerry ... I am looking forward to grits, bacon and coffee Happy Monday everyone
Dan ... To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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Re: Joe's Diner March 1st
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1211411
03/01/20 10:25 PM
03/01/20 10:25 PM
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,341 In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
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The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,341
In the Naughty Corner
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soot, I let anyone that wants up on the bed to find a spot. A couple weeks ago hubby slept in the guest room because a very nervous boarder fell asleep on his side when he was preparing to get ready for bed. It's really hard losing one and finding that empty space in the bed. Hope your week is a good one!
Don't feed the Trolls
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Re: Joe's Diner March 1st
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1211447
03/02/20 08:08 AM
03/02/20 08:08 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,050 winter springs fl.
connie
Graduate Boomer
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Graduate Boomer
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,050
winter springs fl.
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Good morning, have a Wonderful Monday. Dinner with a friend, then we have a meeting at the Eagles tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC.
Connie
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Re: Joe's Diner March 1st
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1211452
03/02/20 09:05 AM
03/02/20 09:05 AM
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,341 In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
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The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,341
In the Naughty Corner
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family, I hear that Judge Judy is calling it quits after 25 seasons. Too bad! I always liked her.
connie, enjoy your day!
Don't feed the Trolls
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Re: Joe's Diner March 1st
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1211457
03/02/20 09:28 AM
03/02/20 09:28 AM
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905 Alabama
looney4labs
Sonic Boomer
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Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
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Magnificent Monday ya'll I have to go into town today for an appointment, and of course, it's raining. Have to laugh because it has rained for every single appointment I have had with these folks, except the one day hubby was home from work and drove me. I was up early as hubby forgot to turn off his alarm. I started hearing bells in the bedroom and had to get up to investigate. I guess he is entitled to do that once every 42 years. Have a great day all
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras
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Re: Joe's Diner March 1st
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1211584
03/03/20 07:59 AM
03/03/20 07:59 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,050 winter springs fl.
connie
Graduate Boomer
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Graduate Boomer
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,050
winter springs fl.
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Good morning, lunch and Netflix with a friend today. Dinner and karaoke at 8-8 Panda tonight. Four of us ladies were all born on March 7th, so we are celebrating with a cake tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC.
Connie
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Re: Joe's Diner March 1st
[Re: Space Quest Fan]
#1211633
03/03/20 06:43 PM
03/03/20 06:43 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073 Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1
OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
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OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
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I believe it may be too late for 'good morning' greetings.........or way too early, take your pic. Our days here start out nice and sunny, and then the clouds roll in. We have good chances for rain today (none yet), and even better chances tomorrow. I got out today. Took Missy to the park, and then made my weekly Walmart run. I don't plan on going out tomorrow if it's raining. Else-wise I'm just doing home chores, and exercising, and gaming. Also eating a lot, and many thanks to Gerry for the awesome coffee, and to Connie for my favorite meal. Have an awesome Hump day family, Ana, soot, L4L, Gerry, Connie, Manxman, Space Quest Fan, and all Boomers. joe
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.
William Butler Yeats
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Re: Joe's Diner March 1st
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1211664
03/04/20 08:10 AM
03/04/20 08:10 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,050 winter springs fl.
connie
Graduate Boomer
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Graduate Boomer
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,050
winter springs fl.
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Good morning, have a Great Hump Day. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC.
Connie
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Re: Joe's Diner March 1st
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1211688
03/04/20 02:07 PM
03/04/20 02:07 PM
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905 Alabama
looney4labs
Sonic Boomer
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Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
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Hope you all are having a wonderful day! We just had a squirrel come falling into our fireplace Now we have to figure out how to get him out of the fireplace without getting bitten or scratched or hurting him and get him back outside.....
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras
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Re: Joe's Diner March 1st
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1211750
03/05/20 08:41 AM
03/05/20 08:41 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,050 winter springs fl.
connie
Graduate Boomer
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Graduate Boomer
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,050
winter springs fl.
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Good morning, have a Wonderful Thursday. Great idea Soot, I hope it works. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC.
Connie
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Re: Joe's Diner March 1st
[Re: Space Quest Fan]
#1211779
03/05/20 06:54 PM
03/05/20 06:54 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073 Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1
OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
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OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
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Hello everyboomie. I hope you're all having a great day. I'm kinda bushed today after a busy day. We went up to 72 degrees, and I made some trips to the park and then to Lowe's. After getting home I put everything up, and then had lunch, and then took Missy for another walk. After that I washed my truck, and then waxed it, the hard way, (wax on, wax off Daniel son). Now my truck is stuck out beside the house where I washed it, because the ground is way too soft now to back out. Ah well, I'll get it out tomorrow one way or the other. The tires are all nasty again now after spinning in the mud. I hope everyone has a super Friday. The weekend is fast approaching again. joe
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.
William Butler Yeats
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Re: Joe's Diner March 1st
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1211785
03/05/20 08:02 PM
03/05/20 08:02 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,816 Alabama
soot
Puzzled Moderator
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Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,816
Alabama
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I'd like to claim credit for the rope dangle Ana & Connie but it was Google that led me to try that ... funny thing is we ended up chasing him out the back door with some guiding devices as he was not buying the magical rope climbing trick Coffee and grits were fabulous Connie and Gerry Hey Ho Joe our front yard is a mud pit too sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff ... I can smell the weekend
Last edited by looney4labs; 03/06/20 10:04 AM.
Dan ... To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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Re: Joe's Diner March 1st
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1211813
03/06/20 07:57 AM
03/06/20 07:57 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,050 winter springs fl.
connie
Graduate Boomer
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Graduate Boomer
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,050
winter springs fl.
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Good Morning, have a Wonderful TGIF. Joe, I hope you can get your truck unstuck. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC.
Connie
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Re: Joe's Diner March 1st
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1211820
03/06/20 10:05 AM
03/06/20 10:05 AM
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905 Alabama
looney4labs
Sonic Boomer
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Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
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Fantastic Friday ya'll We have sun Thought we were gonna drown for a bit there. Have a great day
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras
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