The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends.

~ Bobby Kelton ~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Sam goes to the doctor for his yearly checkup. “Everything is fine”, said the doctor, “You’re doing OK for your age.” “For my age?” questioned Sam, “I’m only 75, do you think I’ll make it to 80? “Well” said the doctor, “do you drink or smoke?” “No” Sam replied. “Do you eat fatty meat or sweets?” “No” said Sam “I am very careful about what I eat.” “How about your activities? Do you engage in thrilling behaviors like speeding or skiing? “No” said Sam taken aback, “I would never engage in dangerous activities.” “Well,” said the doctor, “then why in the world would you want to live that long??
~~~~

“Just relax”, the hospital staff kept telling Jim, but it was to no avail. Jim’s wife was in labor and Jim was a nervous wreck. After what seemed like a week, to both Jim and the hospital staff, a nurse came out with the happy news, “it’s a girl”, she cried. “Thank God, a girl”, said Jim, “at least she won’t have to go through what I just went through!”
~~~~

Mother – I need to speak to the doctor, it’s an emergency, my infant has a temperature of 101.

Doctor to Secretary – Find out how she’s taking the temperature.

Secretary – How are you taking it?

Mother – Oh, I’m holding up OK.
~~~~

I was very scared about going to the eye doctor to get a certain procedure done on my eyes. The doctor tried to put me at ease but to no avail. It was after he finished with my first eye that I nearly jumped out of the chair. “There there”, he said “only one eye left!”
~~~~

So this old man goes to the doctor and the doctor says, “You’re test results came back and I’m afraid I have some bad news. You have Cancer and you have Alzheimer’s”. The old man says, “That ain’t so bad, at least I don’t have Cancer!”
~~~~

An Old man went to the doctor complaining of a terrible pain in his leg.

“I am afraid it’s just old age”, replied the doctor, “there is nothing we can do about it.”

“That can’t be” fumed the old man, “you don’t know what you are doing.”

“How can you possibly know I am wrong?” countered the doctor.

“Well it’s quite obvious,” the old man replied, “my other leg is fine, and it’s the exact same age!”
~~~~

I work as a pediatric nurse, and often have the painful job of giving shots to the children.

One day upon entering the examining room to give a shot the little girl starting screaming “NO! NO! NO!”

“Jessica” her mother scolded, “that is not polite behavior!”

At that the girl continued to scream “NO THANK YOU! NO THANK YOU! NO THANK YOU!”
~~~~

A blond man entered the emergency room with his two ears burned. “What happened?” asked the doctor.

“Well”, the man explained, “my wife was ironing clothing, behind my chair while I was watching TV. She put down the iron next to the phone and when the phone rang I answered the iron.”

“Wow that is terrible” responded the doctor, and what happened to your other ear?”

“Well” the blond guy responded “Right afterwards, the phone rang again!”
~~~~

A doctor remarked on his patients, ruddy complexion.

“I know” the patient said “It’s high blood pressure, it’s from my family.

“Your mother’s side, or father’s side?” questioned the doctor.

Neither, my wife’s.

“What?” the doctor said “that can’t be, how can you get it from your wife’s family?”

“Oh yeah?” the patient responded, “Well you haven't met my in-laws!”
~~~~

Good evening everyboomie.


Time Marches on.


Is everyone ready to Spring Forward? Or maybe this year we're supposed to Leap Forward.


Personally I am so ready to maybe keep it dark a little longer in the mornings so I can sleep that extra hour peacefully.


Pepper gets a bit noisy when the sun comes up.


Actually I'll be Falling Back an hour. I set my clocks ahead 2 hours a couple of months ago just for that reason.


Maybe now I'll be on time for my appointments.


Have a great week everyone.


joe

doing more chores.

Joe! You crack me up! I really hate losing sleep.

Have a happy day all!

Ana

Good morning, breakfast out. District meeting for the Eagles today. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Brown, Bacon, Sausage, French Toast, Biscuits and Gravy, and Toast in the NC.

Hope everyone is enjoying your Sunday rest.
Our internet went down last week. It took a week for a service person to come over to check it out and then 5 minutes to fix it. Apparently, some one in our area disconnected it by mistake. One never knows how much you can miss your internet and phone services.

Glad that you are back up and running manx.

Hey Ho everyone

I'm with you Joe ... springing forward and falling back seems a little silly ... not sure we really need to do it

Hey Ho Ana manXman Connie and SpaceQF

Oh my manXman ... that must have been painful ... but a good time to catch up with reading (perhaps)

Woo Hoo Hoo Connie ... I'll have an egg sandwich to go with a tall dark roast of Gerry's coffee

watching courrt shows.

Good morning, have a Wonderful Monday. Lunch and Netflix with a friend today. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC.

Soot, someone flipped a switch outside in our area. At least the service guy had an easy fix in 5 minutes.
With all my free time I watched curling all week. (the Canadian Brier). Don't supposed that it was on your tv set in Alabama

Thanks SQF. Never knew how much I missed having the internet.

No, wasn't on any sports program down here manXman ... the only exception would be during the Winter Olympics

Oh my goodness Connie, I think I'll have grits and bacon today

Enjoy your shows Family

Have a great day everyone

watchingh courtt shows.

Lunch and Netflix with a friend today, as we had to cancel yesterday. Dinner and karaoke at 8-8 Panda tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC.

Rain has come back, so a good day to stay in and game with my sister in between bouts of cooking. Bread and meatloaf are on the agenda

Hope everyone is having a terrific Tuesday

Oh my gosh, shaped my bread, set it rise, and got distracted and forgot about it.

watching court shows.

Yay! We made it to Hump Day! Hope everyone is enjoying their week!

Joe, family, L4L. soot, manxman, connie, spaceQ Have a great day!

Gerry, hope all is well!

Ana

Good morning, have a Great Hump Day. Being installed as a Doe at the Elks tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC.

Congrats, connie! That is awesome!

Hope everyone is having a magnificent Wednesday.

Hello everybody.

Hope you're all doing well. We're having a pretty nice week. We were 78 degrees yesterday, and 83 today.

I went and got my stitches out Tuesday, and went to Walmart and went and picked up Beau.

Today I went to the park with the pups, and then worked out in the yard and garden bed. Tomorrow I'm going to Lowe's. They finally have their mulch on sale. I need about 16 bags of it.

Yesterday I mowed my lawn for the first time, so I officially declare the Summer season here. I also spread weed and feed on the lawn. We have a bunch of rain forecast for Friday and Saturday.

There's all my news for anyone that cares, although I don't think my boys read this thread.

Congratulations Connie on your new status!!

Have a super Thursday Ana, Family, Connie, Gerry, L4l, Soot, Space Quest Fan, & Manxman.


joe

watching court shows.

Good morning, have a Lovely Thursday. Robert is taking me to Tampa for a 3 day weekend, it's a late Birthday present. We will be going to Bush Gardens, the Zoo, and Sunken Gardens. We leave Sat. morning, I'm excited. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC.

Thumping Good Thursday ya'll

We are supposed to hit high 70's today. It's all foggy hazy out there right now but I suspect that will burn off

Connie, how fun! Enjoy your mini-vacation!

family, enjoy!

Joe, I can't believe you had to cut your lawn already! My yard is a mud pit and so is everywhere else. Not much greening going on yet, except for crocuses and daffodils sprouting. Hopefully soon! Have a happy day!

manxman, have a great day!

My clients are cancelling left and right. Companies cancelling trips and having work forces stay home and telecommute is killing my daily schedule.

Hope everyone is having a Terrific Thursday today. Enjoy the weather everyone

Happy Thump Day everybody ... really busy at work this week :whew:

Ana ... life is starting to get weird at my work too ... it's going to be interesting to see how this all pans out

Connie ... thank you for the egg sandwich!

Joe ... can you come cut my grass?

Hey Ho manXman

Enjoy your shows Family

Hope all is good with all of you

watching court shows.

Alas, we had to cancel again. Most of the things we were going to do are not available now. We will reschedule in the fall when it will not be so hot. I sure hope the third time is a charm. Karaoke tonight at Hacienda, if they don't cancel. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC.

Fantastic Friday ya'll

Welcome to the weekend folks. Stay safe out there

Good Thursday morning Ana, Family, Connie, Gerry, L4l, Soot, Space Quest Fan, & Manxman.

I woke up to rain this morning. It's cooler of course. I put out those 12 bags of mulch yesterday, and spread some more weed and feed, and by the time I got done I was done in.

That was just in the lower 80s.

Getting older stinks!

Connie and Gerry thanks to you both for always being here with the great coffee and breakfast. There's no better way to start the day.

Ana I had more weeds to mow than I did grass. Everything is greening up real fast though with this rain. I hope you're able to keep working, and working safely, through all of this crisis. Do you work with an agency, or just directly with your clients?

Soot I'm on my way. I have the cob webs dusted off my mower now. I hope you guys stay safe from the virus too.

Stay safe and have a super day everyone.

joe

the weekend is here

Joe, I work for a wonderful young woman that I met 7 years ago. She built her company to over 700 clients in 7 years. I love her. I chat and have become close with my clients outside of work, but all my visits are always booked through the company.

Happy Saturday everyone ... my normal chores and weekend projects are on my docket ... grand baby #8 joined the clan last night

we're leaving the 50s and 60s (for the moment?) and heading to 70s and 80s for the near term .... thinking spring is spruning

Connie ... grits and bacon in the NC for me

Gerry ... a nice tall, dark roast would be wonderful

Ana ... your clients warm my heart

Joe ... I may have to cut the grass

L4L

Have a wonderful day Joe Ana Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman Mary and anyone else who pops in to say hi

stay safe everyone

Super Saturday ya'll

Hope you are all having a good day. I will be doing lots of cooking as today is son's b'day. Off to make a cake and put the steaks on to marinade. Have a great day all

L4L, Happy Birthday to your son.

chores.

I've been busy. Got quotes from installers to add a Generac backup generator to my home. Because of my sleep apnea, I'm always worried about losing power during the night. It doesn't happen very often, but still... My home is part of an association whose only focus is on maintaining the outside of the houses. Had to get quotes to put in request for permission to have the work done. Because of the way the building is made, installation would include burying cable. Each installer's cost estimate was higher than the last (from 5600 to 8200). I was about to get additonal quotes when I decided to call the company that provides the air machine I use at night. They offered and I purchased a 'Freedom' backup battery for less that 300. Problem solved.

I live in a northwest suburb of Chicago; Jewel shelves were also empty for paper products. Went on a Friday afternoon and had to hunt for a parking space; never happened in the 7 years I've been here. Couldn't find hand sanitizer locally so went online; all smaller containers (5 oz) were sold out. Didn't want to pay $100 for 38+ ounces. Found one for 10 oz; delivery delayed by a week.

Staying sane with Netflix, games, reading, and getting to doc appts.

Feb was unually warm; today was first day in 30s and it's been snowing since mid-afternoon. Go Figure!!! I don't trust warm weather until May 1st.

Good morning, have a Great Sunday. Breakfast out. Going to go to Leau Gardens this afternoon. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, French Toast, and Biscuits in the NC.

Happy Sunday ya'll

Soot and I took Lil Soot for a nice walk at the park. Hoping to have a relaxing day today as yesterday was super busy. Think I'm going to take a book outside for bit as I know it will be too hot to do that soonish.

Have a great day ya'll

Oh my BFBabe ... still getting snow ... yes, hand sanitizer has become a rarity

Yum yum Connie ... I'll have grits, bacon and fried eggs

L4L

Working a project then time for relaxing, gaming, music ... general fun

Happy Sunday everyone!

I'm so jealous of you all with warmer weather. Yesterday we had snow, it's 27 degree windchill today and gray and gloomy. I could really use sunshine and warmth!

chores.