Joe's March 15th
#1212514
03/15/20 06:58 PM
03/15/20 06:58 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073 Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1
OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
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OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
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Cherish all your happy moments, they make fine cushion for old age. ~~~~ “Just relax”, the hospital staff kept telling Jim, but it was to no avail. Jim’s wife was in labor and Jim was a nervous wreck. After what seemed like a week, to both Jim and the hospital staff, a nurse came out with the happy news, “it’s a girl”, she cried. “Thank God, a girl”, said Jim, “at least she won’t have to go through what I just went through!” ~~~~ Mother – I need to speak to the doctor, it’s an emergency, my infant has a temperature of 101. Doctor to Secretary – Find out how she’s taking the temperature. Secretary – How are you taking it? Mother – Oh, I’m holding up OK. ~~~~ I was very scared about going to the eye doctor to get a certain procedure done on my eyes. The doctor tried to put me at ease but to no avail. It was after he finished with my first eye that I nearly jumped out of the chair. “There there”, he said “only one eye left! ~~~~ Jerry was in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. “I’m OK but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered. “What did he say,” asked the nurse. “OOPS!” ~~~~ A man wasn’t feeling well so he went to the doctor. After examining him the doctor took his wife aside, and said, “your husband has a very sensitive heart. I am afraid he’s not going to make it, unless you treat him with kid gloves, which means you are at his every beck and call, 24 hours a day and that he doesn’t have to do anything himself. On the way home the husband asked with a note of concern “what did he say?” “Well”, the lady responded, “he said it looks like you probably won’t make it. ~~~~ Before going in for surgery I thought it would be funny if I posted a note on myself telling the surgeon to be careful. After the surgery I found another note on myself .”Anyone know where my cell phone is????????” ~~~~ A lady went to a doctor’s office where she was seen by a Doctor. A few minutes into the examination, screeching could be heard from the room, and then the lady burst out of the room as if running for her life. After much effort a nurse finally managed to calm her down enough to tell her story. The nurse barged into the office of the Doctor and screamed, “shame on you, poor Mrs. Smith is 82 years old, and you told her she’s pregnant??” The Doctor continued writing calmly and barely looking up said, “does she still have the hiccups?” ~~~~ Patient: Doctor! I have a serious problem. I can never remember what I just said. Doctor: When did you first notice this problem? Patient: What problem Doctor? ~~~~ A colleague and I were fitting clothes for a fashion show benefit. All the models were residents of our small town, including the local doctor. He tried on one outfit and then asked, “what should I do next?” Gleefully seizing the opportunity my friend replied, “go to the dressing room remove your clothes put on a paper robe and wait.” ~~~~ Jim the town drunkard was at his wit’s end, he had no money to buy even the barest necessities for his family. It was right before going to sleep one night that Jim prayed the following emotional prayer: “Dear Lord, please, all I’m asking for is some food to put on the table, NOTHING else! The booze I’ll buy myself.” ~~~~ A Roman walks into a bar and holds up two fingers, “Sir can I have five beers please.” ~~~~ John was the cop in a small town where everyone knew each other. One night, during his night patrol, he spotted the town drunk walking down the street looking like he was up to no good. “Hey!” Said John, rolling down his window. “Your not heading for any trouble, are you?” “No sir!” Responded the drunkard with a big smile, “I’m heading to a lecture!” A lecture?! thought the cop incredulously at 1 am!? this I gotta see! After following him for a few blocks John was surprised to see him going into his house. “Hey!” John screamed out his window. “I thought you were heading to a lecture?!” The drunkard just held his index finger and headed inside. Sure enough within a minute John heard the lecture loud and clear through the upstairs window, “JUST WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO AT THIS HOUR OF THE NIGHT YOU LAZY GOOD-FOR-NOTHING BUM? I OUGHT TO LEAVE YOU FLAT…” ~~~~ Good evening everyboomie. Here's a fresh hot new diner for you straight out of the oven . As of today you have just 1 month left to get those income tax forms filed......unless you file for an extension. I have no intention to file an extension. Or to file a return for that matter. We've had rain for two solid days, Fri. and Sat. None today, but we have 70 to 100% rain chances for tonight through Thursday. Looks like I won't be mowing the yard this week....... I may be able to go fishing though......from my front porch. Have a rocking new week everyone. joe
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.
William Butler Yeats
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Re: Joe's March 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1212517
03/15/20 08:23 PM
03/15/20 08:23 PM
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,341 In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
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The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,341
In the Naughty Corner
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Joe, I guess that is where my W-F rain is coming from. I'm really looking forward to it....NOT! All our bars, restaurants, state parks, schools and much more are closed. It's really creating chaos. Have a happy day all!
Don't feed the Trolls
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Re: Joe's March 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1212537
03/16/20 03:07 AM
03/16/20 03:07 AM
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,143 Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister
Sonic Boomer
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Sonic Boomer
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,143
Marlborough USA
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Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, Ana, family, manxman and everyone. I haven't been posting lately because of so much happening in hubby's and my immediate family. Hubby's sister faces major surgery and my older sister Nancy has been diagnosed with cancer. Please keep us in your prayers. I hope all is well with you all and everyone stays healthy with the threat of the coronavirus.
Take Care and Stay Safe. Gerry
Gerry
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Re: Joe's March 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1212547
03/16/20 06:40 AM
03/16/20 06:40 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,050 winter springs fl.
connie
Graduate Boomer
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Graduate Boomer
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,050
winter springs fl.
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Good morning, Prayers for your family members Gerry. Meeting at the Eagles tonight. Our meetings are very small, about 6 of us actually show up. Stay safe everyone. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC.
Connie
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Re: Joe's March 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1212551
03/16/20 07:13 AM
03/16/20 07:13 AM
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,341 In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
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The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,341
In the Naughty Corner
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Gerry, I am so very sorry to hear of your family issues. I will send up prayers and positive thoughts to all. Glad to see you hear. connie, glad you can still go out and socialize. My closest friends and I are getting together next weekend for a much needed game night. Temps will be taken and we are all bringing Toilet paper. manxman, have a good day! family, enjoy!
Don't feed the Trolls
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Re: Joe's March 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1212594
03/16/20 04:35 PM
03/16/20 04:35 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,821 Alabama
soot
Puzzled Moderator
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Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,821
Alabama
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Hey Ho everyone ... Happy Monday I stayed home from work as I am under the weather and didn't want to spread the joy Gerry will keep your family in my prayers Have a wonderful afternoon all
Dan ... To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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Re: Joe's March 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1212612
03/16/20 07:39 PM
03/16/20 07:39 PM
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905 Alabama
looney4labs
Sonic Boomer
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Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
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Awwww, Gerry, hugs to you
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras
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Re: Joe's March 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1212638
03/17/20 06:39 AM
03/17/20 06:39 AM
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,379 Scotland
MsMercury
Adept Boomer
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Adept Boomer
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,379
Scotland
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Hello Boomers, hope you are all well and having a pleasant Tuesday! Gerry, prayers and much love for you and your family in this trying time. soot, hope you feel better soon. Had another setback healthwise but on the mend again! My physio class has been cancelled for the forseeable future due to corona virus which is a shame but what can you do? There's also some doubt as to whether my gastroscopy procedure will go ahead as it's not critical. Stay safe everyone! Much love, Mary
"It's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts." I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'!
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Re: Joe's March 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1212653
03/17/20 03:07 PM
03/17/20 03:07 PM
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905 Alabama
looney4labs
Sonic Boomer
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Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
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Back from my walk, and bread is on it's second rise. I have set 3 alarms in an effort to not forget about it this time. Hope your day is wonderful
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras
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Re: Joe's March 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1212682
03/17/20 07:00 PM
03/17/20 07:00 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,821 Alabama
soot
Puzzled Moderator
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Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,821
Alabama
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Good afternoon everybody Thanks for the coffee Gerry ... the dark roast was marvelous Connie ... I grabbed a bacon sandwich and grits to go this morning Family ... hope your shows were entertaining today Hey Ho Mary ... so good to see you ... feeling much better following a 4 hour afternoon nap yesterday ... half my challenge has been getting enough sleep with Little Soot getting me up at all hours of the night to go potty ... so we go walking at all hours of the night Mary ... so sorry to hear your update ... but this will pass with the virus and we will 'all' get back to normal lifestyles ... will keep you in my prayers L4L Last day at work today and then working at home for the next two months ... will need to clear tidy my computer area to make room for work materials Have a wonderful evening Joe Ana Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman Mary and anyone else who pops in to say hi
Dan ... To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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Re: Joe's March 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1212739
03/18/20 09:49 AM
03/18/20 09:49 AM
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905 Alabama
looney4labs
Sonic Boomer
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Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
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Wonderful Wednesday to you all We are having family time....kids and hubby home for the foreseeable future. Daughter called me this morning to tell me Amazon was shut down. Had to head down to my computer to check that out. Amazon is Not Shut Down, but they don't have toilet paper Have a great day
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras
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Re: Joe's March 15th
[Re: looney4labs]
#1212767
03/18/20 05:46 PM
03/18/20 05:46 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073 Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1
OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
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OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
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Howdy everybody. I hope you're all having a great week. We're just hanging out trying to weather the weather. Had thunderstorms in the middle of the night, and then we have flood warnings for tonight, so more thunderstorms I guess, but today was a pretty nice day. We got sunshine for the first time in over a week. It was so nice that I took Missy parking, and then again after I exercised I took her out walking. I think after this rain tonight we get a break. No plans for the rest of the year I guess. I'll just sit here and wait for my government check. My son and his girlfriend have both been laid off. They're both in the restaurant industry. Take care everyone. joe
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.
William Butler Yeats
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Re: Joe's March 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1212827
03/19/20 05:18 PM
03/19/20 05:18 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,821 Alabama
soot
Puzzled Moderator
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Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,821
Alabama
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Hey Ho Connie ... great news about your Doctor Got lots of work done today manXman! Hope your day was good for you Joe, I wonder if your rain is headed our way Gerry ... hope all is well and keeping your family in my prayers ... I am lovin the coffee Family, enjoy your shows SpaceQF ... Oh My Goodness ... who did the crime post is hilarious!!!! Have a wonderful evening everyone
Dan ... To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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Re: Joe's March 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1212892
03/20/20 04:01 PM
03/20/20 04:01 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,821 Alabama
soot
Puzzled Moderator
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Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,821
Alabama
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Good morning ...er, afternoon Connie...you stay safe too! Thanks so much for the eggs, bacon and toast this morning Hey Ho Joe ... cut my lawn today and with a push mower for some exercise Family, enjoy your shows L4L Have a wonderful day Joe Ana Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman and anyone else who pops in to say hi
Dan ... To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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Re: Joe's March 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1212928
03/21/20 06:17 AM
03/21/20 06:17 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,050 winter springs fl.
connie
Graduate Boomer
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Graduate Boomer
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,050
winter springs fl.
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Good morning, stay safe everyone. Virtual Hugs for all my Diner friends. Going to the store later, to make sure I have enough for the fur babies. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage and Toast in the NC.
Connie
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Re: Joe's March 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1212936
03/21/20 12:45 PM
03/21/20 12:45 PM
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,847 Mt Prospect, Illinois
butterflybabe
Addicted Boomer
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Addicted Boomer
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,847
Mt Prospect, Illinois
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One tough thing for me; the dog care center had to close so Huey's not getting as much extra attn or exercise as he normally would, but I'm getting more to take care of his outside business.
Came to me that an ironic positive about this situation; emergency vehicles will be able to fly thru the streets without concern for traffic jams.
I sure hope this doesn't last more than a month.
Take care and be safe!
Life's a puzzle; one piece at a time.
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Re: Joe's March 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1212968
03/22/20 07:19 AM
03/22/20 07:19 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,050 winter springs fl.
connie
Graduate Boomer
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Graduate Boomer
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,050
winter springs fl.
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Good morning, stay safe. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, French Toast, and Toast in the NC.
Connie
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Re: Joe's March 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1212983
03/22/20 10:50 AM
03/22/20 10:50 AM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,821 Alabama
soot
Puzzled Moderator
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Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,821
Alabama
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Connie ... grits, eggs and bacon in the NC for me please Hey Ho Family, chores never stop at your place or mine ... be sure to schedule some down time between chores and projects Yes ButterFlyBabe ... a month would be nice ... time will tell Hi ya manXman ... have a great Sunday L4L Have a wonderful day Joe Ana Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman Mary ButterFlyBabe and anyone else who pops in to say hi
Dan ... To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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Re: Joe's March 15th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1212990
03/22/20 11:24 AM
03/22/20 11:24 AM
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,341 In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
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The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,341
In the Naughty Corner
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Happy Sunday all! I'm actually going to have a game and cooking day here. Nugget is at the park with hubby and I am hibernating. Wishing you all a happy and healthy day!
Don't feed the Trolls
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