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Joe's Sunday May 10th #1217072
05/10/20 05:46 PM
05/10/20 05:46 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,971
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
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gymcandy1  Offline OP
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Posts: 32,971
Calera, Oklahoma
"Your child is never not your child. You can be 90 and your mother 120, but your mother is still worried about you."

~Joan Rivers~
~~~~~~~~~~~~


1.
A mother said to her son, “Look at that kid over there; he’s not misbehaving.” The son replied, “Maybe he has good parents then!”

2.
Daughter: Mum, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?
Mum: I don’t know dear, you’d have to ask Grandma.

3.
To Mum: I’m hungry, I’m tired, I’m cold, I’m hot, Can I have…, Where are you?
To Dad: Where’s Mum?

4.
Bought my Mum a mug which says, “Happy Mother’s day from the World’s Worst Son”.
I forgot to mail it but I think she knows.

5.
Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young.

6.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!” The man says, “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

7.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

9.
A kid asks his dad, “What’s a man?” The dad says, “A man is someone who is responsible and cares for their family.” The kid says, “I hope one day I can be a man just like mom!”

10.
Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother’s Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen. But after a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs. “As a surprise for Mother’s Day,” one explained, “We decided to cook our own breakfast.”

11.
Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, “Why aren’t you married? Can’t you find a woman who will be a good wife?”
Fred replied, “Actually, I’ve found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn’t like them.”
His friend thinks for a moment and says, “I’ve got the perfect solution, just find a girl who’s just like your mother.”
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, “Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?”
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, “Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much.”
The friend said, “Then what’s the problem?”
Fred replied, “My father doesn’t like her.”

12.
A family was having dinner on Mother’s Day but the mother was unusually quiet. Finally, her husband asked what was wrong.
“Nothing,” said the woman.
Not believing her, he asked again. “No seriously, what’s wrong?”
Finally she said, “Do you really want to know? Well, I’ll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother’s Day, you don’t even tell me so much as ‘Thank you.'”

13.
Mother to son: I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me!

14.
Two men are talking and one says to the other, “My wife’s doctor says she has menopause, and, man, has she been moody lately. How long do the symptoms of menopause usually last?” The other man replies, “Let me put it this way: menopause will be listed as the cause on your death certificate.”

16.
A little girl asked her mum, “How did the human race appear?”
Mum answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made …”
Two days later the girl asked her Dad the same question.
Dad answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.”
The confused girl returned to her mum and said, “Mum, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?”
The mother answered, “Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his!”

17.
Why is Mother’s Day before Father’s Day?
So the kids can spend all their Christmas money on Mum.
“Why should I?” he said. “Not once in 15 years have I had a Father’s Day gift.”
“Yes,” she said, “but I’m their real mother.”

18.
Son: When is Mother’s Day Dad?
Dad wearily unplugging the vacuum, “Every day son, every day.”

19.
A mother is trying to get her son to eat carrots. “Carrots are good for your eyes,” she says.
“How do you know?” the son asks.
The mother replies, “Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?”

20.
Definiton: Jumper – something you wear when your mother gets cold.

21.
Mum: The amazing ability to hear a sneeze through 3 closed doors in the middle of the night, three bedrooms away… while Daddy snores next to you.

22.
“If evolution really works, how come Mothers only have two hands?”
-Milton Berle

23.
A kid walks up to his mom and asks, “Mom, can I go bungee jumping?” The mom says “No, you were born from broken rubber and I don’t want you to go out the same way!”

24.
Chris: Why is a computer so smart?
Mom: It listens to its motherboard.
~~~


Ola everbody. wave2


I already posted once today. In doing so I took the words right out of my mouth. razz


I also let the fact that it's Mother's Day go right over my head. oops


Not hard to do considering where my head's been. blush


So Happy Mother's Day to all mothers out there. flowers


And with that I present your new diner and wish everyone a happy safe week ahead. wink


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217075
05/10/20 05:59 PM
05/10/20 05:59 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 79,043
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
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In the Naughty Corner
Thanks for starting another bright and shiny new week, Joe!

It's been a very cold (snow flurries included) rainy Mothers Day. Looking at the week, it isn't going to be a great weather week here. I have a new client added to my daily schedule which will help a bit. Also have one of my favorites boarding with me for the week so I'm happy about that!

Have a great day all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217077
05/10/20 06:52 PM
05/10/20 06:52 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,287
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
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Space Quest Fan  Offline
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Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great week Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217087
05/10/20 09:02 PM
05/10/20 09:02 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,525
marietta,georgia
family Offline
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family  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,525
marietta,georgia
watching court shows.

Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217096
05/11/20 03:13 AM
05/11/20 03:13 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 926
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Taintedfury Offline
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Taintedfury  Offline
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SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Hi Joe sherlock , Ana happydance , Space Quest Fan urock: & family wavegirl have a wonderful day everyone & wishing a Happy Mother's Day to all Mums here @ Gamebommers woot

Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217116
05/11/20 08:32 AM
05/11/20 08:32 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,400
winter springs fl.
connie Online content
Adept Boomer
connie  Online Content
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Posts: 12,400
winter springs fl.
Good morning, have a Lovely day. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC. hearts


Connie
Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217122
05/11/20 09:49 AM
05/11/20 09:49 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 31,620
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Offline
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soot  Offline
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Posts: 31,620
Usually in an Alabama Tree
Good morning Connie TaintedFury Family SpaceQuestFan Ana and Joe laugh

Hey Ho Joe ... wishing you a fantastic Monday

Oh my goodness Ana ... snow flurries in May ... stay warm

You too SpaceQuestFan!

Enjoy your shows Family

Howdy TaintedFury ... hope you had a most excellent day ... sleep good!

Oh yeah Connie, I'm saying ... how about eggs, grits, sausage and toast this morning in the NC thanks

L4L hearts

Have a wonderful day Joe Ana Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary TaintedFury and anyone else who pops in to say hi wave

lab


Dan
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217171
05/11/20 09:33 PM
05/11/20 09:33 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,525
marietta,georgia
family Offline
BAAG Specialist
family  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,525
marietta,georgia
watching curt shows.

Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217182
05/12/20 03:07 AM
05/12/20 03:07 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 926
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Taintedfury Offline
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SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Hi connie dragon thanks hope you have a lovely day & enjoy your beautiful breakfast.... burger


Hiya Soot car thanks to you as well, may you have a terrific day woot& stacks of fun game time joy

Take care all penguin

Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217190
05/12/20 07:16 AM
05/12/20 07:16 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,400
winter springs fl.
connie Online content
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connie  Online Content
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Posts: 12,400
winter springs fl.
Good morning, have a Super day. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC. hearts


Connie
Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217206
05/12/20 11:45 AM
05/12/20 11:45 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 31,620
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Offline
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Posts: 31,620
Usually in an Alabama Tree
Hey ho good morning Connie, TaintedFury and Family laugh

Hiya TaintedFury .. my days have been fairly busy these past months as I've been working from home, so I am thinking you can imagine that challenge with wife, dog, grandkids .... lol Sometimes I need to relocate to another part of the house to finish a meeting rotfl

Enjoy your shows Family yes

Oh yes Connie, I will and hope you do too! Can I get a western omelet this morning with hash browns, sausage and toast in the NC?

L4L hearts

Happy Toosday Joe Ana Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary TaintedFury and anyone else who pops in to say hi wave2

lab


Dan
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217240
05/12/20 08:02 PM
05/12/20 08:02 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,525
marietta,georgia
family Offline
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family  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2010
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marietta,georgia
watching coourt shhows.

Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217242
05/12/20 08:14 PM
05/12/20 08:14 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 79,043
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
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Posts: 79,043
In the Naughty Corner
SpaceQ, how are you?

family, enjoy!

taintedfury, hope it's an easier week for you!

connie, how is the painting going?

soot, I am so thankful I took one of our rooms and made hubby an office last summer. It sure has been invaluable for him working from home. So many zoom meetings. Interesting times!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217245
05/12/20 08:44 PM
05/12/20 08:44 PM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 926
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Taintedfury Offline
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Taintedfury  Offline
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SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Hi Soot Oh no! now that would be a challenge but I think what Ana said is a good idea - maybe if you could do the same & turn a room into a office which would give you your own private area. sherlock

Thanks Ana me too. wavegirl

Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217260
05/13/20 03:29 AM
05/13/20 03:29 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,255
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
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Marlborough USA
Good Wednesday Morning Joe, Ana, SpaceQ, family, taintedfury, Connie, soot, and all my friends at GB. Hope you are all healthy and safe. I've put the coffee and tea on but am wearing a mask and social distancing.

wave Hope you all enjoy a sunny day. wave


Gerry
Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217277
05/13/20 07:06 AM
05/13/20 07:06 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,400
winter springs fl.
connie Online content
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connie  Online Content
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Posts: 12,400
winter springs fl.
Good morning, have Great day. Ana, painting is going good, down to two bedrooms and one bathroom. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC. hearts


Connie
Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217285
05/13/20 08:14 AM
05/13/20 08:14 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,971
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
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gymcandy1  Offline OP
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Calera, Oklahoma
Good morning everyboomie. wave2

Connie you're an angel. Thanks so much for always having my favorite breakfast ready. praise

Gerry I'm wearing a mask too, but it's quite a strain drinking my coffee. wink

Hey Soot wasn't it a supreme court virtual conference where someone flushed, and everyone else heard it? lol

I hope that doesn't happen to you. grin

I have to admit I took a conference call from the bathroom once. Thankfully none of the other managers or my district manager never knew about it. blush

This country is going down the toilet. snicker

Ana I hope your weather warms up for you soon. Enjoy your new charge. Is it furry or scaly? hearts

TaintedFury how are you? Are you guys still dealing with wild fires? I hope you have a safe day. yes

We had cold rain all day yesterday. Today it's just very overcast and cool with 20% rain chance. I hope to heck it doesn't rain any more. I'm working on another project.

Have a super day Ana, Family, SpaceQuestFan, Gerry, Connie, L4L & Soot, manXman, ButterFlyBabe, Trail_Mystic, Mary, TaintedFury, MaG and all. wave

joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 05/13/20 08:16 AM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217287
05/13/20 08:28 AM
05/13/20 08:28 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 79,043
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
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In the Naughty Corner
Gerry, so good to see you pop in! How is your sister doing?

Taintedfury, hearts

connie, that's quite a project! I just did my guest bathroom and I still can't finish because the stores I need are all closed. frown

Joe, I have 3 new pups I am visiting during the day, a toy poodle and two leopard geckos staying at my house for ten days.

Thunderstorms with the potential of 4 inches of rain heading in later today. Ugh. My worst weather nightmare for walking dogs!
Have a happy day all!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217311
05/13/20 01:25 PM
05/13/20 01:25 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 31,620
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Offline
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Usually in an Alabama Tree
Hey Hey Hey everyone ... It's mid-day plus and all is good on the work front

Oh my goodness Ana ... precipitation seems to be your lot in life these days ... I hope they bypass you and your route/customers yes

Hey Gerry ... it's good to see you ... yeppers, I mask-up now when running errands ... many stores now require them and that's O.K. with me

Hope your shows are entertaining Family

Yes TaintedFury ... will research relocation options if Teleworking remains in place

woot Connie, sounds like painting is coming along just fine

Grin .. you are close Joe ... it was a guest speaker and he left his microphone turned on while visiting the men's room ... what a memory for everyone lol

L4L hearts

Have a wonderful afternoon Joe Ana Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary TaintedFury and the rest of the gang wave2

lab


Dan
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217333
05/13/20 08:01 PM
05/13/20 08:01 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,525
marietta,georgia
family Offline
BAAG Specialist
family  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,525
marietta,georgia
watching court shows.

Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217341
05/14/20 02:30 AM
05/14/20 02:30 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 926
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Taintedfury Offline
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Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 926
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Hiya Kaki's Sister good for you - glad to know your being safe. urock


Take care and happy gaming joy
Ps Wishing you a sunny day too hug

*************************************************************************

Good on you Soot thumbsup Stay well and be safe wave2

Last edited by Taintedfury; 05/15/20 04:12 AM.
Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217343
05/14/20 03:42 AM
05/14/20 03:42 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,255
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
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Posts: 24,255
Marlborough USA
Definitely hard to drink with a mask Joe! Ana, my sister 's doctor is considering using a immunotherapy drug with the chemo. A decision will be made soon. Soot good to see you too. Hope you are doing well too Taintedfury. Coffee and tea are ready for you all.

wave Wishing you all a Warm and Sunny Day! wave


Gerry
Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217346
05/14/20 06:32 AM
05/14/20 06:32 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,400
winter springs fl.
connie Online content
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connie  Online Content
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,400
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC. hearts


Connie
Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217348
05/14/20 08:23 AM
05/14/20 08:23 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,468
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
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looney4labs  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,468
Alabama
Beautiful day in AL....warming up though, and the humidity is going up. Gotta get out as soon as I post for my walk. Nice to see the blue skies and sun though. Ya'll have a wonderful day wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Joe's Sunday May 10th [Re: gymcandy1] #1217379
05/14/20 08:19 PM
05/14/20 08:19 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,525
marietta,georgia
family Offline
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family  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,525
marietta,georgia
watching court shows.

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