Monday June 8th at the Diner
#1219639
06/08/20 03:41 PM
06/08/20 03:41 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073 Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1
OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
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OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
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Behind even the manliest men is a little boy, who’s thinking, what do I do next. Anon ~~~~ Jim the town drunkard was at his wit’s end, he had no money to buy even the barest necessities for his family. It was right before going to sleep one night that Jim prayed the following emotional prayer: “Dear Lord, please, all I’m asking for is some food to put on the table, NOTHING else! The booze I’ll buy myself.” ~~~~ A Roman walks into a bar and holds up two fingers, The bartender says, “Five beers coming up.” ~~~~ John was the cop in a small town where everyone knew each other. One night, during his night patrol, he spotted the town drunk walking down the street looking like he was up to no good. “Hey!” Said John, rolling down his window. “Your not heading for any trouble, are you?” “No sir!” Responded the drunkard with a big smile, “I’m heading to a lecture!” A lecture?! thought the cop incredulously at 1 am!? this I gotta see! After following him for a few blocks John was surprised to see him going into his house. “Hey!” John screamed out his window. “I thought you were heading to a lecture?!” The drunkard just held his index finger and headed inside. Sure enough within a minute John heard the lecture loud and clear through the upstairs window, “JUST WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN ALL NIGHT, YOU DIRTY LOW-DOWN GOOD-FOR-NOTHING???…” ~~~~ “Haha”, thought the cop gleefully, when he saw the staggering man walking out of the bar towards the parking lot, “I’ll just wait until he pulls out and then I’ll pull him over for drunk driving.” There was no doubt about it the man was as drunk as could be, after tripping over a rock and dusting himself off, the man slowly made his way towards his car swaying every which way. After opening the passenger side door by mistake, the man finally opened the right door and sat down heavily in the driver’s seat. After dosing off for a few minutes the man seemed to awake out of his drunken slumber and slowly put his keys in the ignition turning on the car. The man barely started pulling out before the cop turned on his sirens full blast and headed over to the car, “Alright buddy” said the cop, “get on out and let me see you walk a straight line.” To the cops surprise the man easily walked a straight line. After passing the Breathalyzer test too, the cop was positively mystified, “how’d you get sober so quick?” question the cop. “Get sober?” responded the man with a smile, “I always was sober, I was just distracting you so all my drunken buddies could escape without you noticing!” "Alright pal you're under arrest." said the cop. "UNDER ARREST FOR WHAT??!" "For aiding and abetting a drunk." ~~~~ Mark was passing by the bar on the way home from work when he sees his good friend Tom gulping down one shot after another. Fearing the worst, Mark charged into the bar and confronted Tom. “Tom what’s going on?” Mark asked. “It’s my wife Beckie,” Tom replied. “She ran off with my best friend!” “Hey wait a second! Said Mark “Aren’t I your best friend?” “Not any more,” Tom said with a happy smile. “That other guy is!” ~~~~ Tom’s wife was hosting a dinner party for some of her close friends, at their summer home. Moment’s before the guests were scheduled to arrive, she asked Tom if he would be ever so gracious to walk a block down to the beach to pick up some fresh snails for the party. On his way to the beach he passed the local bar, and figured he’d stop in for a quick drink before heading down to the beach to search for the snails. One drink lead to the next, and before he knew it, it was 5:00 in the morning and he hadn’t gotten his wife those snails. Quickly he hurried down to the beach, picked up a few snails, rushed home, and stumbled up the front steps, dropping the snails. At that moment, his wife angrily opened the door asking him where he had been and how he had ruined her party. Tom, looked down at the snails and said “C’mon you slow pokes! Just a few more steps and we’re there!” ~~~~ Harry was sick and tired of being constantly badgered by his wife Barbara for spending so much time at the bar. Hoping it would help matters, Harry invited Barbara along with him. “So what would you like?” Harry cordially asked, as she took her seat next to him. “Oh I don’t know” Barbara replied, “I guess I’ll take the same thing as you.” “OK” said Harry to the bartender, “we’ll take two Johnny Walker’s on the rocks!” Barbara barely took a sip of the drink before she started gagging “Oh my gosh! Get me a cup of water! This stuff is horrible! How do you drink this garbage?” “See?” said Harry “and you think I come here just to have a good time?!“ ~~~~ ‘Bob’s Tavern’ was right next door to a cemetery. One day in mid winter a drunk stumbled out of the tavern. Due to his drunk state he wasn’t careful where he was going and he fell into a freshly dug grave. “Help!” Screamed the drunk on the top of his lungs, “I’m freezing!” Before long another drunk sauntered out of the tavern and made his way towards the first drunk’s cries. “I’m freezing!” Screamed the first drunk again. “Of course you are” scolded the second drunk, coming closer. “You kicked off all of the dirt they had covered you with!” ~~~~ The poor man was such a habitual drinker that even he was finally convinced that he was an alcoholic . At his family’s urging he went to see a psychiatrist. After a lengthy consultation, the doctor sternly ordered that hereafter, every time the patient got drunk he was to report his transgression the very next day. A few days later the patient staggered into the psychiatrist’s office. “I wanna report that I wash drunk last night,” he mumbled. “For heaven’s sake, man, you’re drunk right now! ”cried the doctor. “Yeah I know,” said the patient, “this is for tomorrow's confession.” ~~~ Hey everybody. Are you ready for some new jokes? I apologize. I know we're past the expiration date on the last ones. I hope you're having a great day so far. I'm having a hot one. I was at Lowe's this morning before 8:00 to get a tree, and back home and planted it, and was soaking wet before 10:00 from the heat and humidity. After that I came inside to drink a lot of water, and then pass out. The last thing on my mind was, "This too shall pass." I am so lacking in stamina anymore. Seriously! I have a lot of things I would like to work on, but not in this heat. If I can't do it inside, it ain't getting done. How long till Fall? Have a super fantastic week everyone. joe
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.
William Butler Yeats
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Re: Monday June 8th at the Diner
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1219643
06/08/20 05:51 PM
06/08/20 05:51 PM
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,327 In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
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The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,327
In the Naughty Corner
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Joe, thanks for starting another bright and shiny new week for us! It's even shinier with the sweat from the heat. Maybe the weather is just nature's way of getting you to take a break! Have a wonderful day! It's been a day...one of those that makes you want to re-think things. I know tomorrow will be a better one. Hope you all had a good Monday!
Don't feed the Trolls
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Re: Monday June 8th at the Diner
[Re: BrownEyedTigre]
#1219657
06/08/20 08:32 PM
06/08/20 08:32 PM
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 6,919 Hogwarts
Trail_Mystic
Dragon Breath - Darkside Moderator
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Dragon Breath - Darkside Moderator
BAAG Specialist
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 6,919
Hogwarts
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It's been a day...one of those that makes you want to re-think things. I know tomorrow will be a better one....
Totally eye-to-eye with you on that one Ana. I'm using my pup as a life example. Her biggest decisions from day to day are which chew toy to gnaw on and where's the best place to poop.
I feel a lot more like I do now, then when I first got here
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Re: Monday June 8th at the Diner
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1219687
06/09/20 07:08 AM
06/09/20 07:08 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,043 winter springs fl.
connie
Graduate Boomer
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Graduate Boomer
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,043
winter springs fl.
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Good morning, enjoy your day. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Pancakes, and Toast in the NC.
Connie
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Re: Monday June 8th at the Diner
[Re: BrownEyedTigre]
#1219697
06/09/20 09:05 AM
06/09/20 09:05 AM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,798 Alabama
soot
Puzzled Moderator
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Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,798
Alabama
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Good morning Connie Ana Trail Family and Joe Joe, I'm always ready Yeppers, summer is bringing the warmer temps <<It's been a day...>> Ana, I hope your days improve Trail ... I like your philosophy ... it rocks! Family ... enjoy your shows today Connie ... I'm ready for eggs, grits, bacon and a cup of Gerry's coffee in the NC Have a very pleasant day Joe Ana Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary TaintedFury and anyone else who pops in to say hi
Dan ... To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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Re: Monday June 8th at the Diner
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1219711
06/09/20 01:25 PM
06/09/20 01:25 PM
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905 Alabama
looney4labs
Sonic Boomer
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Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
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Terrific Tuesday ya'll Joe, it was in the 80's by 9:30 here with greater than 50% humidity by 9 this morning. I just checked and the humidity is up to 90% right now. I did get a walk in but I'm not gonna fudge it. Not at a super fast pace. Doing laundry and trying to recover from the walk the rest of the day
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras
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Re: Monday June 8th at the Diner
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1219767
06/10/20 07:28 AM
06/10/20 07:28 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,043 winter springs fl.
connie
Graduate Boomer
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Graduate Boomer
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,043
winter springs fl.
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Good morning, have a Wonderful day. We drop Sunshine at the vet this evening for her surgery tomorrow. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Pancakes, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC.
Connie
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Re: Monday June 8th at the Diner
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1219771
06/10/20 08:18 AM
06/10/20 08:18 AM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,798 Alabama
soot
Puzzled Moderator
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Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,798
Alabama
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Good morning Connie TaintedFury Family and L4L Wishing you a peaceful evening and rest TaintedFury ... we're keeping you in our thoughts! Hey Ho Family ... were there any good cases yesterday? Connie, we'll keep you and Sunshine in our prayers this evening and tomorrow ... I'm headed to the NC for a bacon sandwich Little Soot and I got our walk in this morning before the rain hit ... time to get working ... stay safe everyone L4L Have a very engaging day Joe Ana Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary TaintedFury and anyone else who pops in to say hi
Dan ... To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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Re: Monday June 8th at the Diner
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1219813
06/11/20 07:17 AM
06/11/20 07:17 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,043 winter springs fl.
connie
Graduate Boomer
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Graduate Boomer
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,043
winter springs fl.
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Good morning, have a Super day. I will hear from the vet after the surgery. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Pancakes, French Toast, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC.
Connie
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Re: Monday June 8th at the Diner
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1219815
06/11/20 08:17 AM
06/11/20 08:17 AM
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,378 Scotland
MsMercury
Adept Boomer
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Adept Boomer
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,378
Scotland
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Hello Boomers, hope you are all well and staying safe! Have a wonderful day all! Much love, Mary
"It's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts." I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'!
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Re: Monday June 8th at the Diner
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1219819
06/11/20 08:35 AM
06/11/20 08:35 AM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,798 Alabama
soot
Puzzled Moderator
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Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,798
Alabama
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Good morning Family, L4L, TaintedFury, Ms Mary and Connie TaintedFury & Mary ... it's so good to see both of you this morning to start my day ... Mary have a wonderful afternoon ... TaintedFury sleep well and hope to see you tomorrow Family, enjoy your shows Connie, keeping you the Vet and sunshine in my thoughts today! Quick hello this morning ... quick walk this morning ... quick play with little soot & his ball this morning on our walk ... One would think today is "quickday" and not Thursday L4L Have an extremely impressive day Joe Ana Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary TaintedFury and anyone else who pops in to say hi
Dan ... To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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Re: Monday June 8th at the Diner
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1219834
06/11/20 02:21 PM
06/11/20 02:21 PM
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905 Alabama
looney4labs
Sonic Boomer
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Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
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Thumping Good Thursday ya'll The last few days have been a bit of a whirl. Son and g'sons getting stuff together for a camping trip. This morning was the final out the door moments. Whew! Once they left, I had a nice walk in our neighborhood. There was an unknown rottie roaming the neighborhood when I was almost home, so I called Soot to come open the door just in case I was being encouraged to go inside. But by the time I made it to our yard, the rottie had disappeared. Then laundry and lunch. And dinner planning. Now it's time to go "ahhh" for a few minutes!
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras
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Re: Monday June 8th at the Diner
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1219856
06/12/20 03:42 AM
06/12/20 03:42 AM
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Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169 RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
Taintedfury
Addicted Boomer
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Addicted Boomer
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
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Hi Connie Hope your vet has all good news for you Hi Looney Well it's good the rottie went away & that your alright Hi MsMercury wonderful day to you as well Hi Soot yes thanks I did sleep well thankyou & good news I got my stitches out and a band-aide on today - but I still need to be careful as there's some soreness still. Happy gaming all & be safe
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Re: Monday June 8th at the Diner
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1219865
06/12/20 07:09 AM
06/12/20 07:09 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,043 winter springs fl.
connie
Graduate Boomer
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Graduate Boomer
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,043
winter springs fl.
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Good morning, all went well with Sunshine. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, French Toast, Waffles, and Toast in the NC.
Connie
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Re: Monday June 8th at the Diner
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1219899
06/12/20 02:22 PM
06/12/20 02:22 PM
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905 Alabama
looney4labs
Sonic Boomer
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Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
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Good afternoon on this beautiful Friday! It's bright and sunny, but the humidity is lower than is normal for June, which makes it decidedly more pleasant. Woke to No Water! Apparently a water main broke so no one in town has water. I wonder how long it will take to repair???? Hope you all have a wonderful day
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras
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Re: Monday June 8th at the Diner
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1219913
06/12/20 08:16 PM
06/12/20 08:16 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,798 Alabama
soot
Puzzled Moderator
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Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,798
Alabama
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Hey Ho everyone ... T.G.I.F. Great news TaintedFury ... now you just be sure to take it very easy in the days ahead ... stick to the therapy and don't over do it Hope your shows were good Family Connie, I grabbed a Danish to go as had to go "in" to work this morning ... bright n' early Yeppers ... no water this morning I am beat ... it's time for some sleep Good night all
Dan ... To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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Re: Monday June 8th at the Diner
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1219956
06/13/20 04:33 PM
06/13/20 04:33 PM
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905 Alabama
looney4labs
Sonic Boomer
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Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
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By the time I got out of bed, we had water That meant that I could take shower after my walk Ya'll have a great one!
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras
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Re: Monday June 8th at the Diner
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1219959
06/13/20 05:02 PM
06/13/20 05:02 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,798 Alabama
soot
Puzzled Moderator
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Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,798
Alabama
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Hey Ho TaintedFury Family Connie and L4L Connie, the eggs, grits and sausage in the NC hit the spot TaintedFury, enjoy a good night's rest and recuperation! We have water again ... I am taking a day of rest ... goofing off ... it's fun
Dan ... To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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Re: Monday June 8th at the Diner
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1219972
06/13/20 09:03 PM
06/13/20 09:03 PM
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,327 In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
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The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,327
In the Naughty Corner
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Hello everyone! Sorry, I've been a little bit overwhelmed and irritable and negligent about stopping in. I read every day and answer in my head, I just forget to post. You all are always in my prayers! I worked this morning and spent the rest of the day cooking and running errands. Got a few errands for tomorrow as well. Hugs to all...
Don't feed the Trolls
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Re: Monday June 8th at the Diner
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1219991
06/14/20 06:44 AM
06/14/20 06:44 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,043 winter springs fl.
connie
Graduate Boomer
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Graduate Boomer
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,043
winter springs fl.
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Good morning, enjoy your Sunday. Ana, Hugs on the way. Breakfast out this morning. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Pancakes, Biscuits and Gravy, Bacon, Sausage, Ham, and Toast in the NC.
Connie
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Re: Monday June 8th at the Diner
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1219996
06/14/20 09:16 AM
06/14/20 09:16 AM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,798 Alabama
soot
Puzzled Moderator
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Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,798
Alabama
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Hey Ho Family Ana TaintedFury and Connie Yes Family, weekends are my Keepers of Chores time period too I hear ya Ana ... remember to find 'mindful' time every day for yourself ... our pets understand this concept totally ... we humanoids need to work at it Good evening TaintedFury if you're still up ... good Moanday Morning if you're starting your day ... hope the soreness continues decreasing from your procedure Connie, have fun at breakfast ... hope Sunshine is recuperating nicely! I'm headed to the NC for breakfast I am off for some gardening while my music keeps me mindfully in stasis ... I've also got some prep to do for work this week ... speaking of work, this week is going to be a long work week, ... so wish me luck and break a leg ... probably won't pop in until evening to say hi and goodnight L4L Stay Smart & Stay Safe Joe Ana Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary TaintedFury and anyone else who pops in to chat and enjoy a cuppa of tea
Last edited by soot; 06/14/20 09:18 AM. Reason: needed another cup of coffee
Dan ... To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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Re: Monday June 8th at the Diner
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1220000
06/14/20 10:25 AM
06/14/20 10:25 AM
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905 Alabama
looney4labs
Sonic Boomer
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Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
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Super Sunday ya'll Hubby and I just had a wonderful breakfast. Waiting for it to settle for a bit and then heading to the park before It gets much hotter. Will imitate a hamster there, come home, clean up, and then either cook, or game, or both. Have a great one!
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras
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