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Doctor jokes. Sep. 14 #1227928
09/14/20 12:48 AM
09/14/20 12:48 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 41,380
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
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curly  Offline OP
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 41,380
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
-1. “Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?”
“Yes, of course…”
“Great! I n---- c---- before!”

-2. Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow.
Doctor: How do you feel?
Patient: A little d--- in the m----.

-3. What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?
Get dressed up — the doctor is ------ us out!

-4. Today I was checked by Dr. B. Gee. I hope I will be s-----' a----.

-5. Sign at the Urologist's office: u---- good hands.

-6. Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?
Nurse: No c----- yet.

-7. When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me --- in a------.

8. Where do you call when you need a doctor immediately?
The nearest g--- c-----.

-9. Doctor: You are very sick.
Patient: Can I get a second opinion?
Doctor: Yes, of course! You are very u--- t--.

10. Doc says, "Joe, I got some bad news for you. You've got six months to live." Joe says, "Six months? Doc, I can't pay your bill in six months, I can't do it!" Doc says, "OK, I give you a ----"

rah

Last edited by curly; 09/15/20 12:36 AM.

The time to ensure that the toilet works is before you really need it.
Re: Doctor jokes. Sep. 14 [Re: curly] #1227929
09/14/20 01:58 AM
09/14/20 01:58 AM
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 7,847
Deepest darkest Norfolk, Engla...
bermag45 Offline
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bermag45  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 7,847
Deepest darkest Norfolk, Engla...
1. "I never could before" lol Hi Curly wave

Bernie monky

Re: Doctor jokes. Sep. 14 [Re: curly] #1227930
09/14/20 02:20 AM
09/14/20 02:20 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 41,380
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
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Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Hi Bernie. Merci.


The time to ensure that the toilet works is before you really need it.
Re: Doctor jokes. Sep. 14 [Re: curly] #1227931
09/14/20 02:57 AM
09/14/20 02:57 AM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 9,230
Chicago
oldbroad Online shocked
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4. stayin' alive wave

Re: Doctor jokes. Sep. 14 [Re: curly] #1227932
09/14/20 03:22 AM
09/14/20 03:22 AM
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 373
MA
jboliver Offline
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jboliver  Offline
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MA
6. change wave2

Re: Doctor jokes. Sep. 14 [Re: curly] #1227933
09/14/20 04:30 AM
09/14/20 04:30 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 41,380
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
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curly  Offline OP
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Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Thanks.


The time to ensure that the toilet works is before you really need it.
Re: Doctor jokes. Sep. 14 [Re: curly] #1227935
09/14/20 05:06 AM
09/14/20 05:06 AM
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 11,115
Ohio
michele rose Offline
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Ohio
7. pay in advance wave

Re: Doctor jokes. Sep. 14 [Re: curly] #1227938
09/14/20 05:12 AM
09/14/20 05:12 AM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 4,764
Orleans, Ontario, CANADA
OrleansBelle Offline
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Orleans, Ontario, CANADA
2 - down in the mouth


Do good and good will come to you.
Re: Doctor jokes. Sep. 14 [Re: curly] #1227939
09/14/20 05:26 AM
09/14/20 05:26 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 41,380
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
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curly  Offline OP
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Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Good ones.


The time to ensure that the toilet works is before you really need it.
Re: Doctor jokes. Sep. 14 [Re: curly] #1227943
09/14/20 06:03 AM
09/14/20 06:03 AM
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 15,813
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
Redz Offline
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9. ugly too wave

Re: Doctor jokes. Sep. 14 [Re: curly] #1227955
09/14/20 08:04 AM
09/14/20 08:04 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 41,380
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
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curly  Offline OP
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Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Merci Joan.


The time to ensure that the toilet works is before you really need it.
Re: Doctor jokes. Sep. 14 [Re: curly] #1227956
09/14/20 08:06 AM
09/14/20 08:06 AM
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 40,719
near Yosemite in California
Marian Offline
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Marian  Offline
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near Yosemite in California
5. urine grin

Re: Doctor jokes. Sep. 14 [Re: curly] #1227957
09/14/20 08:14 AM
09/14/20 08:14 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 25,357
Unionville
manxman Offline
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Unionville
3. taking wave


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Doctor jokes. Sep. 14 [Re: curly] #1227963
09/14/20 09:36 AM
09/14/20 09:36 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 41,380
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
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curly  Offline OP
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Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Thanks.


The time to ensure that the toilet works is before you really need it.
Re: Doctor jokes. Sep. 14 [Re: curly] #1227964
09/14/20 09:39 AM
09/14/20 09:39 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 41,380
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
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curly  Offline OP
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Ottawa Ontario CANADA
I amended no.8 by changing who to where.


The time to ensure that the toilet works is before you really need it.
Re: Doctor jokes. Sep. 14 [Re: curly] #1227965
09/14/20 09:41 AM
09/14/20 09:41 AM
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,577
Mt Prospect, Illinois
butterflybabe Offline
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Mt Prospect, Illinois
Curly,
#10 - is the 'a' at the end supposed to be the first letter of the answer? It seem to be separated by a space. I have a couple guesses, but neither one starts with 'a'. thanks.


Life's a puzzle; one piece at a time.
Re: Doctor jokes. Sep. 14 [Re: curly] #1227975
09/14/20 11:28 AM
09/14/20 11:28 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 41,380
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 41,380
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Hi bb. The a is separate from the last word.Ex: a pear.

Good luck.


The time to ensure that the toilet works is before you really need it.
Re: Doctor jokes. Sep. 14 [Re: curly] #1228006
09/14/20 04:19 PM
09/14/20 04:19 PM
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 40,719
near Yosemite in California
Marian Offline
Global Moderator
Marian  Offline
Global Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 40,719
near Yosemite in California
10. year grin

Re: Doctor jokes. Sep. 14 [Re: curly] #1228015
09/14/20 06:11 PM
09/14/20 06:11 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 25,357
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
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Posts: 25,357
Unionville
8. golf course yes


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Doctor jokes. Sep. 14 [Re: curly] #1228045
09/15/20 12:35 AM
09/15/20 12:35 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 41,380
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
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Posts: 41,380
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Thanks.


The time to ensure that the toilet works is before you really need it.
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