-1. “Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?”
“Yes, of course…”
“Great! I n---- c---- before!”
-2. Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow.
Doctor: How do you feel?
Patient: A little d--- in the m----.
-3. What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?
Get dressed up — the doctor is ------ us out!
-4. Today I was checked by Dr. B. Gee. I hope I will be s-----' a----.
-5. Sign at the Urologist's office: u---- good hands.
-6. Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?
Nurse: No c----- yet.
-7. When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me --- in a------.
8. Where do you call when you need a doctor immediately?
The nearest g--- c-----.
-9. Doctor: You are very sick.
Patient: Can I get a second opinion?
Doctor: Yes, of course! You are very u--- t--.
10. Doc says, "Joe, I got some bad news for you. You've got six months to live." Joe says, "Six months? Doc, I can't pay your bill in six months, I can't do it!" Doc says, "OK, I give you a ----"