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Oct 26th In the Diner #1231919
10/26/20 09:42 AM
10/26/20 09:42 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,033
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
gymcandy1  Offline OP
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Calera, Oklahoma
Whoever said “It’s not whether you win or lose that counts” probably lost. —

~Martina Navratilova~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Funny Headlines


SUV Crashes Into House After Suffering Seizure

—Source: Great Falls Tribune (Montana);
~~

Police Arrest Naked Man With Concealed Weapon

—Source: MSNBC.com;
~~

Painfully Funny Obituaries

You’d die of embarrassment if these phrases appeared in your obituary:

“She leaves behind a brother and 117 cats.”

“Passed away in a failed stunt that has already been viewed more than 40 million times on YouTube.”

“Was always quick to point out others’ grammatical errors.”

“Survived by his parents and his animatronic wife, Elizabot.”
~~

Harry Potter Sequels

After J. K. Rowling announced that she might write a Harry Potter sequel—he was last seen as a married dad—The Week asked its readers to predict the title of the next book. Here’s what they divined:

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fiber

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Ask-Your-Mom

Harry Potter and the Financial Portfolio of Doom

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Kidney Stone

Harry Potter and the Quest to Buy a House in the Hogwarts School District

Harry Potter and the Quidditch Mom
~~

Home Selling Mistakes

It’s tough enough selling a home nowadays. Don’t make the mistakes that turned off these readers on the City Room blog of The New York Times:

• "It was a good house, well-maintained. But the bed with the person in it was off-putting."

• "The family dog, long departed, was stuffed and standing next to the fireplace. RIP Sparky."

• "The main distraction was dirt. Although there was the tiny child who proudly showed us the refrigerator full of ‘Daddy’s beer’ just outside an upstairs bedroom."

I've since moved that fridge to the kitchen
~~

Blame Canada

Canada wants us to remember that it, too, is part of North America. So The Week asked its readers to come up with an eye-catching slogan for our neighbor to the north.

Canada: Where Your Cold Front Begins

Canada: It’s Not Just for Draft Dodgers Anymore

Canada: Land of Cheaper Drugs

Canada: Where Winter Spends the Summer
~~

Cause and Effect in the News

A newspaper editor missed this headline: "State population to double by 2040; babies to blame."
~~

Rockstar Life

The band Kings of Leon cut short a concert after pigeons bombarded them with poop.

Bass player Jared Followill couldn't say how many birds there were. "The last thing I was going to do was look up," he told CNN.
~~

Adventures in Title Writing

What's the toughest part about writing a book? It's deciding what to call it, as these finalists for the Diagram Prize for Oddest Book Title of the Year prove.

Afterthoughts of a Worm Hunter

An Intellectual History of Cannibalism

Father Christmas Needs a Wee!

Collectible Spoons of the 3rd Reich

The Changing World of Inflammatory Bowel Disease
~~

Help Wanted

Scary business headline: "Air Traffic Controllers Can Apply for Job in Braille"
~~

Safe Haven

Safe Haven Small Animal Hospital 24 Hour Veterinary Service Bill Mosley, DVM 200 E. Norway 936-4798 Hunters Welcome!
~~

True Stories From Comic History

1940s "Once in Virginia," said a speaker who had received an introduction that promised more than he felt he could deliver, "I passed a small church displaying a large sign. It read 'Annual Strawberry Festival' and, below in small letters, 'On account of the Depression, prunes will be served.'"

--Boston Transcript 1950s The best advice I ever received came to me from my ensign when I was a Wave at boot camp. She told me, "To stay out of trouble, say 'Yes, sir' all day and 'No, sir' all night."

--Anonymous 1960s A friend and I were hitchhiking, but no one would stop. "Maybe it's our long hair," I joked. With that, my friend scrawled on a piece of cardboard: "Going to the barber's." Within seconds we had our ride.

--Raymond Butkus 1970s A male friend of mine, an engineer at an aircraft company, works for a woman supervisor. An active member of women's lib groups, she often shows up at work wearing buttons featuring feminist slogans. One day, her latest button, "Adam was a rough draft," proved too much for my friend. The next day, he showed up at work sporting his own button: "Eve was no prime rib." -

-Phyllis Reely 1980s While I was shopping in a pharmacy, a couple of teenagers came in. They were dressed in leather, chains, and safety pins. The boy had blue and purple spiked hair and the girl's hair was bright yellow. Suddenly the boy picked up a pair of sunglasses and tried them on. "What do you think?" he asked his girlfriend. "Take them off!" she howled. "They make you look ridiculous."

--Audrey Kelly 1990s My brother Jim was hired by a government agency and assigned to a small office cubicle in a large area. At the end of his first day, he realized he had no idea how to get out. He wandered around, lost in the maze of cubicles and corridors. Just as panic began to set in, he came upon another employee in a cubicle. "How do you get out of here?" Jim asked. The fellow smiled and said, "No cheese for you."

--Christine Probasco 2000s I am five feet three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room. The triage nurse asked for my height and weight, and I blurted out, "Five-foot-eight and 125 pounds." "Sweetheart," my mother gently chided, "this is not the Internet." --M.M.
~~

Bird Lover

Coincidences were flying when a man was arrested and charged with stealing a bird feeder from Cornell University's ornithology laboratory. According to the Associated Press, police charged James Buzzard, 44, who lives on Cardinal Drive in Ithaca, N.Y., with stealing the feeder from the lab on Sapsucker Woods Road.
~~


Good morning everyboomie. wave2


Sorry, it's getting harder and harder to find funny headlines. wink


These are all great ones though. Probably the greatest ever posted. thumbsup


We are having rain in the 40s here this morning. That way all week I think.


Yesterday was a horrible day (football-wise), but at least I walked over 17,000 steps and over 6 miles. All on my treadmill.


This morning I got on my scales and saw 170s (179lbs specifically) for the first time since last Summer I think. bravo


Yesterday afternoon I was 188lbs actually, but it was mostly from drinking a lot of water..........and beer. lol


Have a pleasant week, Ana, L4L, Soot, Family, Connie, Gerry, Mary, TaintedFury, SpaceQuestFan, ManXman, ButterFlyBabe, Trail_Mystic, MaG and everyone. urock


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 10/26/20 09:45 AM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1231927
10/26/20 11:18 AM
10/26/20 11:18 AM
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,576
Mt Prospect, Illinois
butterflybabe Offline
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Mt Prospect, Illinois
I had hoped to have another week before needing to clear out garage for my car before bad weather hit but no such luck. Last year was enough of a shock when it snowed on Halloween. Didn't have to wait that long this year. Couldn't believe my eyes to see snow falling this morning. razz

Sadly, cry put away my summer lawn decos thumbsdown

Oh, well... grin


Life's a puzzle; one piece at a time.
Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1231932
10/26/20 12:33 PM
10/26/20 12:33 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,627
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
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Alabama
Oh, gosh, butterfly, I'm just back from my run and it was in the 80's. They are saying it will stay there until Friday when we will get 60's.

I have book cooking to do today, and maybe some cooking and perhaps some puzzle solving. Or maybe I'll just go to bed and take a nap puppy


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1231965
10/26/20 06:19 PM
10/26/20 06:19 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,939
marietta,georgia
family Offline
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family  Offline
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marietta,georgia
same thing.

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1231981
10/26/20 09:01 PM
10/26/20 09:01 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 79,589
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
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Thanks for a new week, Joe! Well done on your steps! That is awesome!

butterflybabe, it's that time of year here! The snow was pretty this morning!

L4L, 80's. lol I walked over 11 miles in the snow and cold today. Trade you!

family, enjoy!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1231993
10/27/20 05:12 AM
10/27/20 05:12 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,896
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
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winter springs fl.
Good morning, enjoy the day. Lunch out and shopping with a friend today. Still going to be 90 today, but should cool down a bit this weekend. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Biscuits and Gravy, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC. pumpkin witch


Connie
Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1231999
10/27/20 07:22 AM
10/27/20 07:22 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,540
Alabama
soot Offline
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Good morning Connie Ana Family ButterFlyBabe and Joe ... Tootin Toosday to all of you laugh

Oh my Connie, I am thinking you are ready for some fall weather ... stay safe at lunch and shopping ... I'll have a Danish to go on my way to work

11 miles Ana shocked ... you are burning some major calories!

Family, enjoy your shows

Yeppers ButterFlyBabe ... it's that time of the year with winter just around the corner

Wow Joe! Six miles is great ... keep it up

L4L hearts

It's time to get work rolling ... Joe Ana Family Connie ButterFlyBabe and anyone else who gets the chance to pops in and say hi -- Have a great Toosday!

wave2

lab


Dan
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1232003
10/27/20 08:34 AM
10/27/20 08:34 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,627
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
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Alabama
Good morning and Terrific Tuesday puppy

Seems Hurricane Zeta is supposed to go right through our place later in the week. Hopefully, it will be considerably weakened by the time it gets to us as we don't live on the coast.

Heading out in a bit to walk in the park. Tomorrow and Thursday I may not be able to because of Zeta, so gotta go while I can.

Ana, my hat is off to you. I used to love to play in the snow with my Solo, and we could be out there for a long time, but I don't think we went that far.

Have a great day wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1232041
10/27/20 05:05 PM
10/27/20 05:05 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,896
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
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connie  Offline
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winter springs fl.
I so miss snow, having been born and raised in New Jersey. I moved to Florida in 1963, and haven't been back since 1970.


Connie
Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1232052
10/27/20 07:08 PM
10/27/20 07:08 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,939
marietta,georgia
family Offline
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family  Offline
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Posts: 5,939
marietta,georgia
same thing.

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1232060
10/27/20 09:11 PM
10/27/20 09:11 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 79,589
In the Naughty Corner
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Hope you are safe in the ice storm, Joe!

connie, you should take a vacation North in the winter!

L4L, I hope the storm is greatly diminished by the time it gets to you.

soot, that is my normal day. Today was 30,807 steps - 12.5 miles. smile I go through a lot of shoes! lol I hope this work week is easier for you!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1232075
10/28/20 05:16 AM
10/28/20 05:16 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,896
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
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connie  Offline
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winter springs fl.
Good morning, enjoy the day. Ana, that's what I keep telling my boys. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Biscuits and Gravy, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC. pumpkin witch


Connie
Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1232081
10/28/20 06:22 AM
10/28/20 06:22 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,540
Alabama
soot Offline
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Oh my Ana, I'll bet you do go through a lot of shoes shocked

Connie, I see cooler temps in store for you in the upcoming days ... no more 90s after tomorrow ... I'll grab a Danish to go please

Family, enjoy your shows

L4L hearts

Happy Camel Day Joe Ana Family Connie L4L and anyone else who gets the chance to pops in and say hi

wave2

lab


Dan
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1232094
10/28/20 09:03 AM
10/28/20 09:03 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,033
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
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Calera, Oklahoma
Good morning Connie, Soot, Ana, and everyone. wave2

Connie I'll have some great, fattening, biscuits and sausage gravy please. bravo

Ana, almost 31,000 steps? WOW! I upped my walking, but you really upped yours. I know it's your job, but good for you!! I get to walk mine inside away from the cold. I can't even imagine walking that outside when it's that cold. praise

My feet are not taking it very well either.

No ice here though, although we never left the 30s yesterday, Today is in the 40s. It seems like we went straight from a warm Fall, straight to Winter, although Winter is still almost 2 months away. shocked

Soot I hope you guys are not in the path of this latest storm. Stay safe. wink

Have a fantastic day everyone. thumbsup

joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1232098
10/28/20 09:32 AM
10/28/20 09:32 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,627
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
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Wonderful Wednesday ya'll puppy

Haven't stuck my head out the door, but I may be riding the bike as I think it's raining outside and I don't feel like being wet. :insert whiny baby emoji here:

That will be fine as I have lots and lots of things to do today and riding the bike is not as tiring as hitting the hills.

My legs would fall off if I did 30K steps a day, though it would be great cos then I could eat any and everything that hit my fancy rotfl

Ana, what brand of shoes do you use? Or does it vary?

No ice here, either, Joe. They are talking 40's to 60's later in the week.

Thanks Joe. The storm is projected to plow right through the middle of us, but we live a long way from the coast, so prayerfully the trees will NOT FALL on the house or cars and the power will stay on. We shall know by this time tomorrow.

Connie, I'm heading for the hash browns!

Have a great one ya'll wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1232110
10/28/20 11:09 AM
10/28/20 11:09 AM
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,576
Mt Prospect, Illinois
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Yes, falling snow is pretty - except when I have to drive in it. car I don't care if it blizzards, as long as I'm home safe and warm. woot lol


Life's a puzzle; one piece at a time.
Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1232134
10/28/20 06:42 PM
10/28/20 06:42 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,540
Alabama
soot Offline
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Alabama
Hello everyone and happy Thursday to one and all laugh

I am posting tonight as not sure we'll have power tomorrow with Hurricane Zeta due to pass 40 west of us at 1 AM with 65 MPH winds and gusts of 85

ButterFlyBabe ... I miss the snow as spent many years as a kid playing in it ... didn't have the challenges adults face wink

Joe, it won't be passing directly over us but it will be too close for my liking eek

Family, enjoy your shows

Connie, I look forward to biscuits and gravy with bacon on the side

See you all tomorrow

[Linked Image]


Dan
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1232138
10/28/20 07:54 PM
10/28/20 07:54 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 79,589
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
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L4L, I wear Xero shoes. I cannot wear shoes with even a 1mm drop so my shoe choices are very limited and very expensive. smile
Stay safe in the storm!

Joe, I'm so glad you didn't get the damage from the ice storm. It looks horrible!

soot, sending prayers and positive thoughts your way! Hope the storm lessens!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1232148
10/29/20 04:59 AM
10/29/20 04:59 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,896
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
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connie  Offline
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winter springs fl.
Good morning, have a Lovely day. Soot prayers, the storm passed you with no damage or loss of power. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, and Toast in the NC. pumpkin witch


Connie
Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1232155
10/29/20 06:20 AM
10/29/20 06:20 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,939
marietta,georgia
family Offline
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family  Offline
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marietta,georgia
same thing and football.

Last edited by family; 10/29/20 07:25 PM.
Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1232174
10/29/20 11:22 AM
10/29/20 11:22 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,033
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
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gymcandy1  Offline OP
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Calera, Oklahoma
Hello Connie, and Family, Ana, and everybody. wave2

L4L and Soot I hope you guys are safe and sound. I'm also hoping you still have power, although your absence from the board may be the harbinger of bad news on that front. Praying you're all okay. yes

Connie I would like 2 eggs over easy, with sausage, and hash browns and wheat toast please. happydance YUM!

Ana I.m loving your pictures. I hope you're getting some warmer weather. hearts

We have some sunshine today for the first time in 6 months. snicker

Well it seems that long anyway. lol

Today I'm just cleaning and working out. Haven't been doing anything but walking on my treadmill for several days. I walked over 7 miles yesterday. bravo

I'm just trying to stay on my feet and off my behind, you know? happydance

So I wish everyone a fantastic day.

I'm off to scrape up lunch. wink


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1232194
10/29/20 01:45 PM
10/29/20 01:45 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,540
Alabama
soot Offline
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Alabama
Hello Boomers, we survived laugh

We lost power at 1 AM last night and got power back at high noon .. We lost three small trees and a grand old giant at the bottom of our lot in the high winds sad

All is good ... lots of outside work to clean up in the days ahead

Wow, 7 miles is great Joe

Ana, I understand the shoe aspect ... they are important for someone in your trade

Connie, thanks for keeping the NC stocked ... got a Danish on the way out the door to work this morning

Family, enjoy your shows.

wave

lab


Dan
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1232203
10/29/20 02:21 PM
10/29/20 02:21 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,627
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
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Alabama
Well, we made it through the night. Turns out the "thunder" I heard was an enormous tree falling across 2 fences. Good thing we don't let Lil Soot out back as the fence is gone with a capital G.

We got our power back a little while ago. Happy to join the 21st century again. Our house is a bit "dim" without artificial lights.

Off to play for a bit. wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1232221
10/29/20 05:30 PM
10/29/20 05:30 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,939
marietta,georgia
family Offline
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family  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,939
marietta,georgia
same thing .

Last edited by family; 10/29/20 07:25 PM.
Re: Oct 26th In the Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1232227
10/29/20 07:31 PM
10/29/20 07:31 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,033
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
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gymcandy1  Offline OP
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Posts: 33,033
Calera, Oklahoma
Soot and L4L I'm so glad you guys are ok and have your power back. bravo

Sorry about your trees.

joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
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